The obsession with youth for women in our society as compared to men is disgusting

[Anonymous]

20-year age gaps between men and their younger female co-stars is becoming ever-common.

This article (x) from www.vulture.com demonstrates how leading actors age, but their co-stars don't

Maggie Gyllenhaal recently revealed that at 37 she was told she was 'too old' to play a role opposite a 55 year old man.

Read the full article here (x)

But, why should we care about these massive age gaps I hear you ask?

If conventionally beautiful women like Julia Roberts have aged-out of being able to be seen as sexy romantic leads by 40, what does that say about the rest of us -- most of whom never looked like Julia Roberts to begin with. If movies are idealized versions of real life, why does the ideal have to make women over 40 persona non grata?

Unsurprisingly, according to OKCupid (x), this table lists the ages of men that women find attractive as they get older:

BUT... when you flip it round, whether the men are 20, 30, or 50, men generally think a woman is at her best when she is in her early 20s. (the oldest age being 24)

It would benefit everyone to create more opportunities for women over 30 to play attractive, seductive, desired characters on screen -- and for men their age to be interested in them.

[Klara-Hitler]

Well, you should accept that a group of men are like wine, and compared to them very less number of women are like wine and remain good when they age.

That is why I will have children and will be married for 25 years at least by the time I am 50. Because that is the time that I should slowly retire myself of being sexy and focus on teaching my daughter on how to be sexy for her man.

we all have periods in our lives, we all have our time. Use the time well when it is your time and when the era is done retire proudly with tons of beautiful and brilliant memories for yourself, for your children and grandchildren.

This is how you do it. this is how we are supposed to live to remain happy all our lives, not to abuse an era of our life and the other eras remain empty.

The problem with people nowadays is their excessive focus on themselves while they fail to consider this "self" doesn't remain for a long time. The problem is that girls of today think they are immortal. Then when they get old and have built nothing for themselves they start to whine about the society and try to change the society to view them differently to feel good.

These ages aren't bad, they are normal. What is bad is the shallow mentality of the new generation about themselves and their lives. promiscuity and fear of having children. fake power and the fake independence. these are actually disgusting teachings that are against women, not the reality of sex appeal in this world.

[lusciousB]

Yes all there is to life as a woman is getting married and having children and teaching your daughter to do the same. Better marry rich though and chasing after an old man at a young age is a guarantee to have money in your pocket once he's dead and gone.

[BigJake]

It’s comical to watch all these girls twist in the wind when the tables turn on them. If some guy had posted a diatribe about how shy, socially awkward young dudes can’t get laid, he’d be lambasted by a chorus of snark from girls telling him to get over it, that that’s just the way it is, that girls are wired to prefer confident, suave, powerful men. But bring up the loss of sexual allure women experience as they age, and it’s a moral infamnia, a confirmation of the inherent misogyny of men set in 100-point font.

Men prefer youth in women, always have, always will. And women capitalize on this when they're young. They may not realize all the benefits they get, but they get they usually figure it out as those benefits start to erode as they age.

I see older men at work bend over backwards to mentor and help out the young women in ways they never do for the younger guys. Is this fair? Is it right that the guys have to teach themselves and learn the hard way while the women are shepherded along by fawning senior employees?

[BigJake]

LOL the downvotes from women. The irony here is so thick you could cut it with a machete.

[tyber1]

They are down-voting because they don't realize how good they have it and they don't think you are correct in pointing it out. It's easy to think someone else's problems aren't that big of a deal or that they are overstating them when you cannot relate to them.

[myTake Owner]

yeah the benefits are great. Love being sexually harassed by creepy old men!!! It's great!!!

[tyber1]

@takeowner, that is completely unfair. You are singling out a single downside. You aren't keeping an open mind and considering the benefits young women do receive and if you cannot show us that you are willing to look at things critically then there is no point to having a discussion with you because you have already made up your mind. I'm not suggesting that EVERY part of being a young woman is superb but you do have advantages that men your age do not typically get, especially when it comes to dating.

[BigJake]

@Take Owner You'll find out in time that the only thing worse than having undesirable men hit on you is not being hit on at all. Girls never seem to understand that they don't get to pick and choose the attention they get. You either get attention or you don't. If you're getting attention--i. e. you're very attractive--men of all types will creep on you. Just the way it works.

Guys have our own issues, too. We get fixed up by friends and family with unattractive girls all the time. Some relative will tell us about his wonderful girl who we should meet, and she turns out to be like a character out of the TV show Girls, obnoxious, disgusting, and completely unsexy. But yet, if we turn down these girls, we're bad guys with unrealistic expectations, even though there's no chance in hell we would ever produce a boner with said girl. So you're not the only ones that have to sift through the undesirables to find the gems.

[cookiesandcream]

"If you're getting attention--i. e. you're very attractive--men of all types will creep on you. Just the way it works." My gosh I'm fugly then... Damn it D:

[Anonymous]

Biologist here and you might get pissed at me for saying this but what you've noticed isn't a trend in our society it's a trend in nature. Now let me first say I think your idea is beautiful and I truly believe that just because nature has worked a certain way in the past does not mean it is right nor does it mean it should continue. Nature is still nature though. You know what the biggest difference between males and females are. It's how they reproduce. Men make sperm. Lots of them. They're small and move rapidly and it's all about numbers. Most males of any species behave similarly. Put out as many offsprings as possible. Women make eggs. They are larger and less numerous and are often stationary and contain much more nutrients. Women of most species behave similarly. They more time nurturing thier children and often produce very few eggs (in comparison) in thier lifetime. Males often focus on quantity, while women on quality. Now many many exceptions do exist but this is a general observation in nature. Humans tend to spend more equal (but still unequal) amounts of time fathering children. But women often times have a few babies and quit while there are rare men known for fathering hundreds. Women endure much more when it comes to having a child. I mean the pain is something I just can't understand. Then there's menopause. Menopause used to be rare simply because people didn't live that long. People died young. Most people were dead before they were 50. Generally speaking 18-30 is some prime years in terms of most people's bodily fitness. That age range to this day is good baby making time. Since people didn't live to fifty spending more energy into baby making before then was beneficial. Hence menopause. So often older women can't make more offsprings or struggle too care for them. (Not talking about women today I'm talking plague ridden hunter gather people) If some guy were attracted to only older women often their DNA would be passed on very little. If some guy were attracted to only younger girls his DNA is more likely to make it. If the women are too young it's less likely. This is why men often see women as attractive in the same age range. It's not society that's doing it. It's just that the pressure for nature to push for young women is stronger than pushing for young men. In fact there's a slight skew for older men because it proves their DNA is fit for living in these environments. It's why girls tend to not want the immature guy but love Mr. Strong smart healthy and wealthy. And guys often settle for the not so great but still really pretty young girls. I don't condone the behavior and think it can be changed but it's not shocking to me and I'm not upset about it.

[Remonster]

I'm more pissed at your lack of paragraphing to be honest. But that was some good insight.

[myTake Owner]

yes. but that doesn't mean Hollywood needs to exacerbate the problem. Thanks for the scientific insight though.

[Opinion Owner]

Lol sorry @remonster I've been a little rusty since graduation. And at anonymous take owner I agree that Hollywood shouldn't exacerbate the problem but you have to remember Hollywood's not some overarching mystical deity that knows truth and justice. It's a bunch of dudes and ladies telling really expensive stories. Don't expect them to be some moral compass or the front runners of insight. You will definitely be disappointed. What I suggest doing is teaching consumers to partake in the movies they enjoy and critique the ones they don't and the market will shift. Or maybe it won't we never know. Hollywoods always in it for the money though.

[myTake Owner]

Yeah I appreciate that. There are so many things wrong with Hollywood besides this.

[Anno_Domini]

Holy wall of text, Batman!

[Opinion Owner]

You'll be okay @Anno_Domini they're just words nobody's hurting you're just not used to it.

[Starfishlover]

As a 26 year old with looks, intelligence, style and wisdom, I say that the reason why young girls are being favored these days is just for sex and nothing else. I believe that once a woman is "over the hill" as it is laughingly phrased, then she isn't nice to look at. But you know what? Us mature women don't need careers/ men to objectify us and not see our full potential. Sure, late teen and early 20 year Olds are absolutely stunning but they unfortunately are naive and nativity is seen as attractive. It is attractive to those that want to exert power Over them.

Now I am not saying that all of them are like this but a majority are like that. There are a few impressive and wise GaGers here Who are in their early 20s. My 17 year old cousin called me old the other day. I looked at her thighs and said "at least I dobt have any cellulite".

In my book, youth is an attitude and how much energy you exert. I am way more energetic and adventurous that 20 teenagers on crack.

So to all the beautiful, well coiffed women out there, dobt fret because you are becoming older and don't be sad that only SOME people don't see you attractive (after all, there are some ugly ass teenagers and 20 year Olds anyway-there are ugly people in every age group), be happy that you won't be used as a sexual slave and the people who do want to get to know you is because you have something to offer.

[Starfishlover]

And considering where I am at now than in my teen and early twenties, imma be saying "make me ugly and rich all you want! "

[Tezza777]

Well said your very wise and beautiful ;)

[Roostah]

Actually your wrong if you think men are picking women younger just for sex. There is actually a list of reason guy go for younger as appose to older.

[Starfishlover]

I said some guys. Learn to read.

[Roostah]

How about you learn to be more specific:

"As a 26 year old with looks, intelligence, style and wisdom, I say that the reason why young girls are being favored these days is just for sex and nothing else. "

I'm addressing this. How aout you cut out the bitchiness and act civilized.

[Starfishlover]

I wasn't being bitchy at all! You know that posts read differently than how one would say it in real life!

[genuinlysensitive]

Just curious how many men you have talked to that have said they date younger women only for sex?

[Anonymous]

It's biology. Men want younger women to procreate with to have HEALTHIER children. Men go throughout their terms to twenties asking out girls and having to get rejected and girls just batt their eyelashes and cake their faces with makeup. Guys in their teens generally aren't even given the time of day by girls their age. Especially in college. Girls go for guys that are older and say that "I like mature guys". Then when FINALLY men peak and become successful it's "disgusting" that men go for younger women? This is one of the few double standards I enjoy as a guy. Women age like milk and men age like fine wine. Let me give an analogy. You buy a brand new car. You sit on it and smell that brand new car smell. Sounds great, looks great. You always keep it clean. Down the line it starts giving you problems and squeaks. That new car smell is gone, and the odometer is high. Essentially the car's value is depreciating. Women are like cars, as guys date them and as they become promiscuous and get older the odometer goes higher and higher. More makeup ages the skin and they eventually start getting less attraction from men. So the guy trades up the old car at the local dealer for a newer model. Guys are like blue chip stocks. We start small, the IPO commences and the stock price is low, but as more investors invest and as the company becomes successful they branch out and become a famous brand such as Apple and Microsoft. This is how biology is, you can't fight it. No matter how much surgery and makeup you use, or your opinions that's how it is. Stop complaining and accept it.

[Jaydog666]

I dont agree with all of this but men do find 20 something women attractive in the same way a woman might find 30 year old men more attractive. For men its because women tend to be at their apperance wise with men tending to be wealthier and more successful. Although a lot of women won't like me saying this but its the truth.

[DANNYBASSMAN93]

Well in my opinion thats none of anybody else's business.

Let's put into perspective, would you like strangers poking and judging your relationship due to age difference (if it where the case) or any other difference?

I didn't think so. So have the courtesy to keep your comments to yourself or at least just look the other way.

If you dont like that its happening or have no interest in daring someone with a gap of age difference thats fine. As long as you can respect others who do so and just move on than there really is no problem here.

Honestly there are bigger things happening in this world like:

Hunger
Rape
Child Abuse
Domestic Violence
Drug Trafficking
Economical Relapse
ISIS
Bronies
Cancer
Homeless
Disease
Epidemics

Just be grateful that you're still alive, have a roof over your head with wifi and or internet which i asume for most of the people here, that their parents our paying and just be happy and share that with the world who clearly is in need of and stop wasting your time and something so meaningless as an age gap relationship "Problem".

[been_waiting]

By that logic no one can ever complain about anything cause there's always something worse.

[been_waiting]

Stupid mentality

[Remonster]

@been_waiting You're right. But I'd personally rather put my time into bettering the above issues first.

[been_waiting]

Its kinda odd to me that according to the OkCupid thing I'll be "too old" for men in their 30s and 40s within the next few years and I just graduated high school. The fuck.

I understand that its biology blah blah younger women are more fertile but younger men are as well. I mean, in the US men are dying of heart disease and have beer bellies and bald spots before they're 40, and that doesn't exactly scream "fuck me I'm fertile" but you don't see women saying "ew gross!"

Its just another ridiculous expectation.

[Bysshe]

Not too old, just non-ideal.

[been_waiting]

@Bysshe that's still gross and fucked up.
If a guy in his 30s-40s honestly told me when I'm 22 that his ideal is younger than me, I'd punch him in the face. Guys don't even have the right to demand some young, flawless beauty when they are crusty, fat and two cheeseburgers away from a massive heart attack before they're even 40.

[Bysshe]

It's not that older guys (or any guys) deserve a young woman, it's just that most of use find women most appealing at that age.

[Bysshe]

*us not use

[been_waiting]

@Bysshe and believe it or not girls find guys more appealing when they're young with the exception of some men that age very well.

[been_waiting]

Any guy that seeks out much younger women specifically is shallow, the end.

[thesweetness]

that's just the way things are. deal with it.

[Bysshe]

I agree it's shallow.

[Bandit74]

I think it's just the ideal, like IF he could get any girl, that is the age range he finds most attractive, just going by physical appearance.

Realistically most 40 year old guys won't be able to attract a 22 year old, so they'll probably end up dating a 35 year old or somewhere in that range.

It's mainly celebrities like Johnny Depp and Leonardo Dicaprio who are able to actually get with girls that much younger.

[been_waiting]

@Bandit74 if a man would take a very young girl he has nothing in common with who is most likely less mature and in a very different life stage over one he can connect with better he's shallow.

[Bandit74]

what about the girl? is she shallow for dating a older, wealthier man who she has nothing in common with?

[been_waiting]

@Bandit74 who said he's wealthy? If she seeks out older guys with money, yes she's shallow. If she happened to end up with an older man, probably not. Most older men aren't wealthy. I don't get where society gets this idea.

[Bandit74]

Bad word choice, I don't necessarily mean wealthy as in rich but rather financially secure/settled. He's --wealthier- than she is. Do you disagree that most 40 year old men are more financially secure than a 22 year old?

So if a 22 year old willingly dates an older man, he's shallow and creepy for dating her but she's fine?

[been_waiting]

@Bandit74 if she is seeking out older men, she's most likely after money and therefore shallow, yes. But like I've said if she just ended up with an older guy, probably not. And older guys may be more financially secure but that isn't a huge treat or anything. Most girls aren't like "omg he like, doesn't live paycheck to paycheck so I'm gonna date him. " if you see what I mean. It really isn't enough of an incentive to date someone on its own.

But I'll repeat. If she's seeking out older guys she probably wants $$$$$ and is therefore shallow.

[Bandit74]

Well if a 40 year old guy seeks out young girls, and any young girl who dates him is most likely interested in him because of his money. This would make both of them shallow.

So in the end does it really matter if two shallow people get in a relationship together. Seems like a perfect match, no?

[been_waiting]

@Bandit74 I think the key word here is "seek." You don't know if she's intentionally looking for older guys or he, younger girls. That's the indicator.

Sure shallow people can be together. Doesn't really change anything about the topic at hand.

[Remonster]

I seek out younger girls because I find them more appealing. It's not anymore shallow than wanting a good looking partner. You're probably under the impression that I just want sex, but that is not the case. If their personality is ass then that's the end of it.

Note, I mean girls aged 20 and up.

[been_waiting]

@remonster but if you're pursuing people based purely on looks and novelty then yeah you're shallow. Its a bit different in your case as you're still in your 20s but you know these 30-40 year old guys have nothing in common with a 20 year old girl. They just want something young and pretty to look at and brag about

[Forgotten-Laur]

Well nothing is fair. Women always prefer men with money and status. That sucks for poor men. Women prefer someone very outgoing and confident. That sucks for shy guys. Studies show the unhappiest time in a guy's life is in his 20s because girls see him as immature and lacking stability and resources. But for girls, that is actually the happiest time of life. Everyone wins and everyone loses, in different ways. Can't make older men prefer women their own age any more than you can get women to like shy, poor, unconfident guys. There's certainly guys out there who would go out with women much older than them, except that those women see them as immature.

[Nuqood]

You say women are primarily valued by their looks, well men are primarily valued by their status and resources, so what's your point? Men see looks; Women see status/wealth. A good looking man with a small social circle and a $40,000/year job will not attract as many women as a less than average looking man making $130,000/year with lots of connections. Nobody values personality, and saying that they do is just a cheap way of not admitting their true intentions.

You seem to think men are viewed as human beings; Men are viewed as human-doings. We deal with it, it's a lot more stressful to worry about social status and income + property (shelter/car/clothes/lifestyle) than having to worry about looks (that can be boosted by make up) and we deal with it. My question to you is: Why can't women deal with it?

[GamerArtNerd]

Just from general observation, our primal instincts just tend to draw us toward younger/youthful appearances and then women are more attracted to older/dominant men. If you think about it, (from an animalistic perspective) a young woman is more likely to be healthy enough to be very fertile and have children. Older men are more likely to be stronger and have accumulated lots of wealth and resources to support them and their future children. But anyway, all primal instincts aside... I don't see what's so inherently disgusting about it. Younger women are just more attractive.

[thesweetness]

I've heard that theory so many times but honestly you're reading too much into this. it has nothing to do with our primal nature. younger women just look better. period.

[GamerArtNerd]

Well I did say that. Read the last sentence. But I do however think that many of the reasons I gave may be an evolutionary link to why we naturally find them more attractive. It's no different than us finding wider hips more attractive, it means that the woman would be more likely to successfully give birth and have a child without complications. Obviously we aren't consciously thinking about these things but it is why we evolved to favor them.

[OpenClose]

Heidi Klum is 42
Zooey Deschanel is 35
Winona Ryder is 43

So I call total bullshit on the idea that women lose their attractiveness after 30. Not to mention, women's libidos peak in their 30's, and they are far enough detached from teenage years to lose the need to be princessed by guys. Sounds like a good choice to me.

Also, the OKCupid study is based on "minimum age" selection. Girls generally don't date many guys younger than them, so their minimum raises with age. While guys generally prefer girls younger than them, so their MAX raises, but their minimum stays about the same.

So you can't really claim guys are jerks for liking youth without criticizing the contrapositive: That women like men with more years on them.

Furthermore, it's already known that girls are more picky than guys, so I don't think you have much to worry about anyway, you are still considered the "chased" gender.

[Roostah]

Picking celebs with access to personal trainers, diets, leisure time, and probably on some healthy diet plan created by their trainer/chef. Sure total accurate representation of the female populace.

[tyber1]

The way I see it, women are more beautiful in their youth and it's a double edged sword. They get to reap the benefits of said beauty, but the standard gets raised because of it and they have to watch the benefits slip away as they age and because the standards are raised higher for women they fall even further than men who never had that high standard to compete with at all. The message is clear, the bigger they are the harder they fall.

Yes, older women are considered significantly less physically attractive than similarly aged men. But it is also true that younger men are considered significantly less physically attractive than similarly aged women. You can't casually accept this paradigm when it works in your favor and criticize it when it doesn't. You have to either accept it for what it is or deride the entire thing as unfair to everyone at some point.

[heavensgift2girls]

This has nothing to do with society or the age of women playing parts in movies. Men have always favored youth. It is a part of our biology. Younger women are more fertile and are more likely to have healthier children. That is why nature designed us to like younger women.

People should be free to date anyone they want without being looked down on for their decisions. They are adults and they are dating adults. No one is under any obligation to be attracted to a different type of person just because we don't like it.

Most older women can still land guys their age. They just need to learn to accept the most desirable older men will rarely choose an older woman as long as he has younger options. This means older women have to learn to settle for average guys instead of getting the dream guy they were holding out for.

[HikerDude]

Yep, agree 100%. The real issue here is that women want it all their way. They want to be choosers at 40 just the same as they were at 20. Unfortunately for them, Father Time is undefeated. The cold reality is that most 40+ yo women will have the sexual value of a pimply 19 yo guy.

[HikerDude]

Sorry, but women don't get everything their way. Part of the reason for this phenomenon--one that is as old as humanity, mind you--is that women become sought after simply by reaching sexual maturity, whereas men have to attain a certain level of status for women to want us. Most 19 yo guys get ignored by girls, whereas most 19 yo girls have tons of attention. So that's the tale of the two genders. Women peak early and fast, and guys peak later only after they've gained some experience in life. Deal with it, because it's the deal you got.

[tyber1]

It's not as old as humanity. It's a result of civilization. Uncivilized cultures without agriculture tend to have relative equality between the sexes. Around 10000 years ago, when agriculture began to develop, there was a huge genetic shift where for every male that produced offspring, there were 17 females. That means that for every 17 males and females, only one male got to reproduce with all 17 females, and the reason was because the men who mastered agriculture had significantly more abundant resources to support a family with than hunter-gatherers. That is why women favor men with status. I agree with everything else completely. Women don't realize how few young men actually receive any amount of female attention. A large majority of my male friends are virgins and I'm 23, luckily I am not among them but things are not like that on the female side.

[HikerDude]

@tyber1 No, it's as old as humanity. Youth hasn't been prized by men throughout the history of our species for status. It's prized because youth is correlated very strongly with fertility, and fertility is the entire raison detre for women. It was that way 20,000 years ago, and it's that way today.

[tyber1]

Well you can continue to push your assumptions and I'll stick with what the facts show, and the facts show that 8000-1000 years ago wealth and status became a very powerful reproductive tool for men and women thus became attracted to wealth and status. Women have likely always been chosen for their youth and fertility but they probably also used to pick men based on those factors too.

www.slate.com/.../...ldren_for_every_17_women.html

[HikerDude]

@tyber1 You don't know anything more than I about what actually happened 10,000 years ago, so whatever "facts" you reference are subject to interpretation. So there was a genetic bottleneck 10,000 years ago. Bottlenecks have occurred during the history of any species on this planet. And what does any of the conjecture surrounding that have to do with the comparative sexual value of the genders? The short answer is, "nothing," because even if only three guys were having sex at the end of the last ice age, they still preferred to have sex with the younger women because that's what men are programmed to do.

[tyber1]

So 16 out of 17 men died off 8000 years ago but the female population remained unchanged? It seems obvious that the population didn't shift that drastically out of nowhere, unless you can come up with some evidence of a male-targeted genocide the simplest answer by far is that most of the men stopped reproducing. I already told you how it was relevant. Men and women both sought out partners for the same reasons but when agriculture developed the things women sought out changed while the male preferences remained the same. Thats why men and women have different preferences for their partners.

[Kalinda]

@ well opinion owner, at least you admit you don't know ANYTHING about history or how its 'always been'.#tytber1 You don't know any more than about what happened 10,000 years ago.

[HikerDude]

@Kalinda LOL bitter much? It's funny how girls always bag on guys for being bitter about dating. Y'all are ten times worse when your problems are discussed, acting like it's some national crisis that older guys pick younger women over women their own age. Get over yourself.

[Kalinda]

not bitter. literal.

[HikerDude]

@tyber1 You falsely assume that this whole 1 to 17 ratio reflects the numbers of men who actually mated with women. Wrong. The genetics reflect whose offspring *survived*, not who actually mated. And given the extreme mortality rates at that time from disease, war, and famine, it stands to reason that some men were much more successful at keeping their children alive than others.

[HikerDude]

@Kalinda Hahahaha... whatever you say. You can't rail against the inevitable, but it doesn't change the reality of the situation. Good luck to you.

[Kalinda]

i dont know what you are laughing about. you made an assertion then you refuted that by telling someone that neither of you know anything and i agreed with that correction.

as for people being attracted to twenty year olds of course they are -women who have their own money get younger guys- youth is attractive. so what. the problem is most people when they are older, can find a 20- year old attractive but they dont get to have one.

[HikerDude]

@Kalinda LOL you're not nearly as "literal" as you believe. I never wrote that "neither of [us] know anything." You have serious reading comprehension problems if that's what you gleaned from what I wrote.

And I hate to tell you, but older guys are mostly who gets the hot young women because they have the resources and experience to attract them. If you don't believe this, it's because you aren't very attractive and you're not getting approached much by anyone.

[BigJake]

Yeah, women peak very early, and most of them think it will last forever. As Marcellus Wallace said of boxers, women age like vinegar, not like wine. It's funny that all these people on here are so angry over the concept that men prefer youth. It's even more amazing that they can't seem to fathom the reason why. Lots and lots of kids here who were raised by helicopter parents and given a trophy just for showing up.

[Kalinda]

everyone peaks early.

[Kalinda]

yeah you did say you dk what happened and you dont.

tell you what when you are 40 and dating a 20 year old then you can say i told you so.

average age gap is a 3 years plus or minus women or men. everyone likes youth but you only get it for a small window of time. oh well.

[heavensgift2girls]

@tyber1 I don't believe any evidence shows that cultures without agriculture would be more likely to have old men preferring older women over younger women. The link you provided so far only shows that women are more likely to be attracted to wealth which is actually part of the argument guys are making here. Older guys tend to have more wealth, and therefore can attract younger women.

You might be able to argue that with the creation of wealth in agrarian societies enabled older men to attract younger women, but that doesn't mean that men weren't always attracted to younger women even during prehistoric times.

[tyber1]

Older men are into younger, more fertile women because they can be. Men of pretty much all ages are attracted to women in their 20's and women would feel the same way about men if not for the hidden influence of agriculture. Older men wouldn't date younger women though in general because the younger women would have no more incentive to pick an older man over a younger man. In general, most people would date people their own age because that is who they would be able to get, with some who aged well from both sexes dating younger and some who aged poorly dating older. So yes, men were always attracted to younger women. I'm arguing that women AREN'T attracted to younger men because of the agrarian effect, which is what is creating the contrast and thus the controversy. That is what I've been saying and that is where you misunderstand me. I'm not saying that men are more attracted to youth than they would naturally be, I'm saying women are less so.

[Roostah]

Well look at it this way. Your average women have a far easier time getting, love, affection, when they are young than your average guy.

Guys often have to approach and risk being rejected while women select which guy is "good enough" to date her. Even in dating world, double standards still persist with guys having to pay for dates, open doors, and be "unofficial" body guard for women.

It's not so bad when you think about this overall. Women get to have a "high" as they say in dating world from 17-30 and then things tend to balance out around 30-40 for both sexs. Men become the pursued by women at around 30. You just gotta accept ladies that guy should get a chance being chased.

[crayven]

Simple.
Men like young women who can bear HEALTHY children.
After 30 children can come up with birth defects and the % of having such a defect increases exponentially after that.
This is BIOLOGY , we didn't invent it to "oppress women".

Women care more about financial security and stability in general.
This is something usually men in their 30s and 40s have not frat boys in their 20s.
Soooo they like those guys more.

No mention from the author that women in their 50s like men in their 40s. Guess *that* gap is valid since it is in favor of women :)

[crayven]

I'm curious. A lot of downvotes from girls... but no argument to back their downvote on :)
I wonder why...

[DeltaDanner]

Can I ask, why does it matter? Why do you want to condem people for what they find attractive? I don't really like the age gap thing either (for both genders) but I can't control what people are attracted to. It's all preference anyway isn't it?
1) you're dealing with stars who change their wives almost yearly, and of coarse they want a young beautiful woman on their side
2) for the OkCupid thing: it's who they found ATTRACTIVE so of coarse they picked the younger crowd. I'm in my teens and find twenty something's more attractive than older people.
So what if they find someone attractive? Why does it matter to you what someone's preferences are?

[DeltaDanner]

Also what about women? You're blaming men for all this when (as someone else mentioned) it takes two to tango. You think it's disgusting that older men go for younger women but you completely ignore the young women going for oldef men! I have heard countless women who found older guys attractive, most women my age have crushes on guys 30+ and most of these sexy actors are higher up there in age. You can't completely ignore that women are falling head over heels for and dating older men. It's not like the older men are forcing the younger women to date them, but that's how you're acting.

[nalaa]

I agree with almost everything you said, but this stupid okCupid statistic that somehow always gets quoted in this discussion is just none sense.

Look at the numbers. It's completely random. You don't prefer 20 year olds when you're 20, then 21 year olds for a while and then it goes back to 20 when you're 30. The sample size they must have used for this must have been ridiculously small to have such an odd distribution.
AND since it's a dating site I would think they were asked to rate people based on pictures which doesn't reliably indicate real life preferences

That is not a reliable source and I'm sure they meant it more as a fun fact

[lusciousB]

It's funny how the guys voted this down. Insecure much guys! LOL

[0112358]

Sample size was huge but a drift of a year or two is just noise. The distributions are pretty obvious though.

[nalaa]

@0112358 it's not just a year tho. There a jumps of 3 or 4 years. And yes the trend is clear but random jumps of one or two units shouldn't don't happen if you do it properly. Either the sample size was too small, they choose a biased group or they did sloppy work when normalizing the data , if they bothered at all.

So if they did sloppy with either of those rather important criteria, what else where they sloppy with?

[Anonymous]

Ohh reality.. is a cruel cruel thing.

I find it funny that when girls are young and attractive and everything is handed to them without any effort on their part, no an eyelash is batted, but the second that power shift happens and they can't use their looks to get things anymore they gather in droves to complain about how "disgusting it is" that they are being ignored.

*Stomp stomp* "PAY ATTENTION TO ME!" *Stomp stomp*
"We demand you stop finding younger females attractive! We will shame you and create campaigns to force people to acknowledge us. We will not be ignored the same way we ignored you when we had options." *Stomp stomp*

Sadly sex sells for both sexes, and older men are considered attractive by many women. Younger women are more attractive to the greater majority of males. So the media uses what will sell. You can't force it to change just because you don't like it.

[myTake Owner]

i'm 18 so your point about older women moaning about this doesn't apply to me. what concerns me is that i am valued based on my appearance so things seem fine now but i am well aware that older women get a lot less respect. i find it disgusting how women are valued based on their appearance. sue me.

[Opinion Owner]

Yes you are valued based on your appearance... (at least while you are young). This is not a new concept and it is not something that will change simply because you don't like it. And it's not "men" it's our society both women and men. This is why it's important as a female to not rely on your image as a coaster through life, and to have an actual personality, intelligence, and skill. A lot of young girls think being pretty is the most important thing... but that is not true. It only gets you up to about 30 and then slowly starts to decline. It isn't about older women not getting respect. If you are a decent human being you get respect. If you think respect is simply based on how people find you attractive, then I guess men don't get any respect at all unless they are the small fraction of built eye candy.

I am sorry you find it disgusting how women are valued based on appearance by men and women in our society...

[Opinion Owner]

... I myself find it disgusting how badly men are treated for everything they say, think, do, and say in our society. But I know I can't change it so whadda ya gonna do.

[myTake Owner]

older women are often treated with a lack of respect. take musicians for example, old men like Paul McCartney are still going on and praised for doing so. With Madonna, people mock her constantly and joke about menopause and hormone replacement tablets. what does that tell you?

[Opinion Owner]

Madonna is a joke because she is still trying to dress like she did in her 20's. Paul McCartney isn't trying to look like a teenager.

[myTake Owner]

is their an age limit for clothes? no there isn't. Is it so bad that a woman her age can feel good about herself and express that in the way she dresses? why are we teaching women to feel ashamed about their bodies as they get older? she looks GREAT for her age but people still dwell on the fact what she wears is not 'age-appropriate'. Do you know how hard it is to feel good about your body as a woman to the point you can actually show it off? Who is she hurting by wearing that type of clothes? No one. But all she gets is mocked. That's my point.

[Opinion Owner]

Is there an age limit for clothes... hmmmm let me think... well I know it would be wildly uncomfortable for your family dinner to have grandma sitting at the table in a miniskirt and crop top with no bra. I guess she has every right to wear it. But it's up to you if you find it gross or not. I assume you would be completely ok with it though because like you said, it's all good.

You simply wanted to know why Madonna has those comments made about her, and as much as it might pain you to admit. A 56 year old woman dressing like a 20 year old is going to get the same remarks made about her as Paul McCartney would get if he tried to dress like Justin Beiber. The only difference is... HE DOESN'T because he knows better. That's my point.

[notcreativethough]

That's because men are fertile for far longer than women, whereas women peak in the early twenties and decline rapidly afterwards. This isn't a societal construct, this is biology. Men instinctually prefer women when they're most fertile. Any changes you make to society, won't change male biology.

To assume there's a problem in this is ignorance at best, insecurity and manipulation at worst. Calling this disgusting is calling male biology and instinct disgusting, something that, if the roles were reversed would be drowned in claims of sexism.

[Bandit74]

It's a double edged sword

Youth benefits women more than men
Aging hurts women more than men.

Young guys aren't put on the same pedestal young women are. Guys don't get praised just for being young and pretty, they have to work and earn praise.

[GirlsLie]

I think a lot of factors play into men liking younger women. Some of it has more to do with the amount of superficial standards that society puts on women and that women continue to feed into. I also think it takes a stronger man to date an older women because most women have so many expectations, want our needs met more and that combined with life experience is probably not appealing to every man lol. My boyfriend is 6 years younger then me and I understand that it's not for everyone but I think more men should be open to dating older women, it can be a very fun experience.

[myTake Owner]

interesting point of view. my mother is 6 years older than my father and they've been married for 23 years :)

[GirlsLie]

Aww, that's awesome :)

I never liked younger men before my boyfriend, I always went out with older men but when I met him age didn't seem so important anymore, I wish more people realized that as well.

[myTake Owner]

yeah i really dislike a lot of people's attitudes towards this topic. people are so closed-minded and quite frankly insensitive to the idea of women ageing.

[GirlsLie]

I agree, we get suckered into the idea that we're not pretty when we age and some older women are so beautiful as they get older, actually I think a decent amount of men find older women attractive also.