A Message To My Ex

[Anonymous]

This isn't to bash you. It's to help you. I am not saying you were a bad boyfriend. We had our ups and downs; however, it just didn't work. Maybe these tips will help you if you find someone else.

Don't let people tell you what to do. I notice in our relationship you would add people on Facebook or keep people on Facebook that were bad influences. You can't expect your girlfriends to be okay with girls your 'friends' forced you to add you know nothing about. It's not just girls but also people who smoke, talk about sex or post pics teenagers shouldn't be posting.

In a relationship you have to be able to adjust sometimes. I felt as though I adjusted a lot and you were a bit shelfish. Dare I ask you to change something you'd get defensive. Things weren't about 'us' they were about 'u'.

Sometimes you would take other peoples side over mines and it's not fair! I knew sometimes I was right;however, you still took other peoples side. Not only that but you always wanted to be right or better at something than I was.

I tried to warn you sometimes I don't know when my periods coming and I get emotional the week before. Although, you didn't care because scientist said it wasn't 'true'. Almost everytime I PMSed... we broke up.

Sometimes you turned small issues into big issues. For example: if I didn't realize you asked a question you'd ignore me than repeat the question. It's not that serious! Especially when we weren't even arguing.

Just don't talk about certain things during intimate moments. You'd think I 'rejected' you because you'd turn me off by talking about arguments before...

You always questioned why I liked you. I liked you because before we actually did fun things and it was very peaceful. Until you started annoying me with arguments, not taking my compliments and being bossy.

When other guys flirted with me you thought they were trying to be 'friendly'. Even wanted me to befriend some! I wasn't asking for a controlling boyfriend but maybe one who was more alpha.

Our relationship wasn't perfect;although, I know I tried. I am not saying you're a bad guy, I just want your next relationship -if you decide to have one- to not be so messed up. Also I will not let any guy try to freaking control me and I don't have time for bs. I just hope you have a wonderful life. Maybe my advice will help.

[MaskedSanity]

Why exactly did you need to plaster this online?
Just sounds like you're a drama queen who wants to get her last word in SOMEWHERE (and maybe because everyone on your Facebook friend list is tired of your soppy "inspirational" posts about being strong and better).

You painted this whole picture of your ex being this and that, but of course NOTHING about how perhaps you weren't the best girlfriend either.

Your relationship was shite from the start if you "break up every time" you were PMSing. How about you get your emotions under control instead of blaming it on "science"? I get pretty erratic when it's that time, yet I don't lash out on my boyfriend, but channel those hormones into doing a vigorous workout or playing a challenging video game. Get a copy of Dark Souls and shout at the screen instead of the person you supposedly love.

And don't even get me started on that "alpha" bullshit you mentioned. You won't allow a guy to control you, yet you wanted him to do something (?) when other guys flirted with you? Make up your mind, woman. Oh right, you don't want him to be alpha - you just wanted to see him be a bit jealous to help you cope with those insecurities of yours.

Sure, from what you described he sounds like a pretty shitty guy to be with, but I'm 100% certain he has a few choice words to say about you as well, but of course we'll never know the full story, because we only have your word. But given the fact that you needed to post this online tells me you're not over him and need affirmation of being good while your ex gets shit talked about him by strangers on the internet to help you feel better about yourself.

If you were truly mature and much better than him, you wouldn't feel the need to post this, just walk away from that relationship with your head held high and not dwell on it the way you did here.

I'm not going to pat you on the back for taking your personal life online and trying to make your ex look like shit when he's not here to defend himself. Get over it and yourself, grow up and move on.

This post was completely unnecessary.

[JohnBhoy94]

I agree 200%, this whole take is about self-pity and validation.

She is not over him at all. She's still angry at him for things and hasn't moved on.

[JimmyJohns]

Sorry, I deleted this. My ex and I weren't on speaking terms. So I decided to right him something so he can look at in the future. Also sometimes you CAN'T control your emotions. I can't take pills for health reasons and I didn't realize it until after. Kind of why I warned him..

[MaskedSanity]

@JimmyJohns

It's not your place to "correct" him. If you're not on speaking terms, what makes you think he's gonna go online to read your whining about him along with any comments that may have been left berating him, when he had no say in what would be written on here?
If you wanted to write something for him to read, you should have written HIM a letter, not a post for a bunch of strangers to judge. Your intentions are quite clear.

And yes, you CAN control your emotions - that's why I told you to channel that rage onto something other than a person and even gave you my personal examples.

[M_A_X]

This is a joke, right?

More than trying to talk to him, this sounds like you venting to get out a story that you want to tell. A very vague, broad story that doesn't really go into much detail about what happened because I'm guessing he's not as bad as you make him out to be, but you post here to get validation and pity and attention

Here's how he "controlled her" according to her words.

1. He wanted her to befriend other guys
2. He controlled her by not changing and being the way she wanted him to be

Here's some things that she thinks she does that he doesn't do

1. Make a big deal out of little things.

Here's the things she DEMANDS that he change, or the relationship isn't about "us, just u"

1. She wants control over who his friends are on facebook and IRL
2. She wants to be able to ignore him without him bringing the question up again

[MaskedSanity]

I'm glad I'm not the only one that picked up on her BS.

[JohnBhoy94]

Lol... You summarised what I was thinking all along the Take.

This is BS lol

[JimmyJohns]

1. Guys who flirted with me
2. No... I never asked himt o change things about his style or anything. I just asked that sometimes he didn't correct me.

1. Yes! I don't want him to end up doing drugs. I like him.
2. Sometimes he'd ask me multiple questions at once and there wouldn't be a '?'

[Dawsonwc]

I disagree with a lot of this. This isn't to bash you it's too help you. First of do you feel how condescending that could come off as? In fact this whole post feels a little condescending but moving on. Don't tell people what to do! I noticed you have a problem with how he used Facebook maybe it's his Facebook and he should be the one controlling it. Second, relationships are about Us and You and Me too. If you don't want to compromise then don't do it. No matter how much us there is he's still an individual with the freedom to do as he pleases and you have the freedom to leave. Third sometimes he's not going to agree with you even though you think you're right he didn't. Fourth, even if your periods make you emotional if I'm expected to know when to tip toe around your period you should know when to be extra careful about acting on your emotions. Fifth big deals to me may not be big deals to you and vice versa. You don't get to decide what's right, wrong, important or irrelevant for both of us. That seems to cover a lot of your points. And lastly, don't expect men to fight your battles and intrude on your conversations with other guys. If you're uncomfortable speak up otherwise don't expect him to give a shit about other guys flirting with you especially if he's not one prone to jealousy. That's not beta or alpha it's called I'm a man and an individual and if you wanna leave me for him go ahead I'll be fine you're not the only women on the planet.

[Dark_Scorpio]

*Starts slow clapping then the whole crowd breaks into cheering*

[GirlScoutsRevenge]

I got about ten lines in and decided this would be the case. Well said...

[Bugiman]

I have a little tip for you, don't be so controlling.
You guys are teens, yet you already say what friends etc he should have?
Were you his girlfriend or his mommy?

It's good you guys broke up, you obviously didn't like him. And he got his freedom back to enjoy his teenage years.

because if you wanna post stupid shit on facebook/make sexist remarks/experiment with drugs, smokes. It's best you get it out of our system at a young age lol

He's really lucky he got out!! It must have been really scary to be a teen yet already have this constant nagging voice that 'keeps you outta trouble'
at that age you have a mom for that lol.

better find a fun girl he can share his experiences with.

no offence you sound like an incredible bore. I bet you already know what house u wanna live in later.

[GAG_Girl]

@Bugiman he still likes me to myofb

[Bugiman]

i really doubt it
also don't post stuff on here if you want people to 'myofb'
hope you are amture enough to understand that
YOU put it out here for others to read and comment

grow up, he's better off without you and you better off without him
be happy and now get over it

also stop making new accounts to dislike comments because i have seen multiple names here claiming they wrote this anonymous post

half of them 'new' accounts

kinda pathetic

[GAG_Girl]

I am on my friends account. We're both feminist!

[Bugiman]

very conenient your friend just made a new account haha
stop the BS and let the guy go.
get over him

[MaskedSanity]

Jesus Christ, she's nuts.

[JuicyBrain]

So if I get this right. He lost someone who wanted to control who he can talk to but who does not want to be controlled herself, someone who thinks it's ok to be a bitch when she has her PMS and someone who wanted him to be someone else he is not and who actually wanted him to be jealous. Wow ! That guy must be drowning in sorrows ! I am sure it was all 100% his fault.

[GreatnessPersonified]

I see what you did there.

[qaz1besske]

Even I agree with you on this one

[JuicyBrain]

"Not only that but you always wanted to be right..."
"... not taking my compliments and being bossy."
"... but maybe one who was more alpha"

Poor girl. One day you will know better what you want and have more realistic expectations. Hopefully, they should be free of contradictions.
@qaz1besske @TakeOwner

[Hannah591]

I had this feeling, not too far into reading it. Sounds like an immature high school relationship to me. I agree with you.

[Riggers]

This isn't even a take, This is just a full on total bitchy rant about your ex...

Put that shit on Tumblr or Facebook, Not make a damn 'take' about it xD.

[JimmyJohns]

Yes it is! It was for my ex, he said he liked it.

[JimmyJohns]

@Riggers

[Ozanne]

I hope some of what you said brings peace to YOU and that you now know what you don't want in a guy. There are a lot of things there that are red flags that he simply didn't respect you and intended to keep you around for as long as you were willing to be treated that way. Now that you know what you don't want, you can go ahead and find what you do want. The advice you give him is nice, but don't look backward. He's your past now, and it really doesn't matter what he does. :)

[PiuBelloAmante]

You sound kind of selfish and crazy
Too be honest you probably made him turn bitter at the end
It also seems as though you never trusted him

It takes two to tango and well seems like both of you took the wrong steps

[kittykatg]

This is basically a really shitty, narcissistic version of this same take: www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a10323-an-open-letter-to-my-ex

[FakeName123]

A tip to this MyTake owner: When a relationship doesn't work, it is almost always the fault of both parties.

[MCtricks]

That's so true :/

[FakeName123]

I have my moments.

[complicated_soul]

This is so true.

[LightsOff]

"Don't let people tell you what to do"

*goes on and tell him what he should do instead*

[CandyandPinkCats]

The comments are unsympathetic... But when you mentioned the pmsing and breaking up, did you mean you started fights with him? You can't blame him for leaving after that.

[JimmyJohns]

I didn't start fights. Sometimes I'm emotional and I saw him a bit insensitive. I'd start crying... Although, if I knew I was PMSING, I'd try to contain myself.

[AmandaLynn1930]

That's you being pretty hypocritical... You're trying to control him even tho u aren't together. I can only imagine how u were when you were together. I'm glad he's escaped... and you're so young, I hope you outgrow this...

[KidanisCortes]

Hey Ex boyfriend its your fault we broke cause you didn't wanna do things My way ALL the time. You know vagina, feminism alla that

[PiuBelloAmante]

MHO lol too bad it's not a question but you deserve it

[KidanisCortes]

becxause, feminism

[Hannah591]

It's not feminism, she just doesn't know how to compromise in a relationship and feels the need to have control over everything.

[KidanisCortes]

Again feminism

[valeriewen]

What a drama queen you are. Not sure why he made you girlfriend to begin with.

[bob111111]

you seem young and seem like you know pretty much nothing about relationships

these issues were what a lot of young guys deal with and do it's immature sure but so are you for either provoking or reacting wrong

[CatInLove]

I hope he changes. But it's good that you learned to be strong and stand up for yourself. Go girl! :-)

[Poppykate]

Most men I have met who 'don't believe in PMS', either grew up without sisters, haven't yet had a serious girlfriend or live to regret the day.

[weirdoldmann]

I've lived to regret the day one too many times, when am i going to learn?

[SunshineAmy]

I feel like this could apply to a lot of breakups haha! Nice!

[Remonster]

"Sometimes you would take other peoples side over mines and it's not fair!" O-Okay boss...

[Ulyss]

Funny how kids still fight over Facebook no wonder I left it too many children

[CandyandPinkCats]

I swear I've heard of 30 year olds fighting over facebook, because one of them forgot to change their status from single to dating/in a relationship, or whatever the name of it is. They had a screaming match.

[_Atreides]

i noticed you said 'I felt as though I adjusted a lot and you were a bit shelfish'. Was he a bit crabby?