Watering the Plants: Nurturing Your Relationship

Ozanne

When I met my first live-in boyfriend, he and I put on all the right moves to attract each other. We met at a pub during a billiards tournament and we were dressed up and ready for our mating dance. We flirted and said all the right things. While we dated, we continued to look sharp for each other, smell nice, and say perfect things.


After eight months, we decided to live together. And that’s when I noticed it all went to hell.


After that, as a couple living together, striving to attract the other was slowly diminishing, as the message seemed to be clear that we both managed to snag the other, so the game was won. No more did we really feel a big effort was needed. So we began to spend days together looking like slobs. We both didn’t bother to flirt anymore, since we were already having sex and were an established couple. We didn’t go out together anymore, we just stayed in. And of course, letting loose when it came to things like burping and farting [mainly him], and not keeping up with personal maintenance that attracted each other to us in the first place.


Not caring anymore about attracting your spouse is like forgetting to water the plants. Each day that goes by without a bit of care makes the relationship dry up. As the days and weeks pass and the couple finds they are waking up together, following a routine that doesn’t require effort. This becomes noticeable over time. This is when you hear, “You’re not the guy/girl I met.” Of course not. Two people who completely let themselves go truly aren’t the same person they met.


It doesn’t take much in a relationship to just do some daily maintenance. Lasting, loving couples have figured it out, which is why you hear people often say something like “it takes a lot work”.


Watering the Plants: Nurturing Your Relationship


There are some things I’ve noticed that many couples lose sight of, or stop doing, and should "water the plants" again. Even if it’s one thing to start with each day, these are just my suggestions to get back on the rails, and if you're not in a relationship yet or just starting a new one, you are just in time to start nurturing right from the beginning with these tips:



  • Tell them they are still handsome/beautiful

  • Flirt!

  • Get dressed again. Make some effort with your look that attracted them once upon a time.

  • Do something nice for them without being asked to.

  • Preserve your modesty – change in the bathroom and let them want to see you naked.

  • Out of the blue, rub their neck and shoulders.

  • “Have I told you lately…?” (insert your appreciation for something they have done)

  • Show some manners to your partner again (fart-haters will love you for this)


Your spouse might be thinking, "Um, right... what are you up to?" Making little changes for the better might have them joking with you or tease you about it, but keep at it, and they probably will stop wondering and know your effort is because you still really love them.


Remember there is no guarantee about tomorrow. Tomorrow they could leave you. Each day you should make the effort to make them want to stay.


Watering the Plants: Nurturing Your Relationship
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