If you are not ready, please don't play with peoples' hearts!

[lovedcursed]

Don't you think it is very cruel and dishonest when someone who knows he/she is not ready yet, or still not over a particular ex, just take someone's innocent heart and play on it by showing care and affection for a while thinking that theybare helping themselves move on, and then suddenly in the middle of the road maybe after a week/month or a year they just leave them or cut themselves off in the coldest way possible because simply they dont feel it? Or they realize they are still not over the ex? Or that suddelny they feel like no you are not what they wanted ...ugh..it is painfully hurtful users..because simply it is cruel and dishonest to try to be happy by sucking someone's else happiness and feelings and then just blew them up like they were nothing...I have been through this twice and i have seen many others also been there, and in the most cases theg just cut.

The used one off like he/she doesn't have any feelings or doesn't have any rights to object. And further more they usually move on very easily without even looking back on the broken person they have left, they just move on in a selfish way after they have accomplished their mission of using that person without even showing any slight guilteness or sorry. It is very cruel and most of the times they turn even very rude because they will just deny you and deny everything they did or said. They might suddenly just ignore your calls or see your msgs and never reply, which isnthe cruelst and most shameful, because it leaves you so sad and foolished. You remember how happy you were before they freaken invade your privacy/feelings and your heart. You remember how sweet they were, and how they managed to make you feel special and loved, and how are they now acting like they have never known you, and are treating you like some sticky, needy stranger...

Well it is just cruel and selfish...And I swear I believe that it should be a case that law sets punishment for a year or two on the person who did that, as a result of invading someone biggest property (Heart), and causing them psychological and mental damage. They showed be imprisoned for the year where the other person is trying painfully to move on. They can't just walk away and live happily like that, because they are criminals, with even worse crimes, because they damage.

And kill souls...which is the most hurtful crime of all...

Please share your thoughts...

[Phantom-menace1234]

I like your post very much, and its horrible when someone plays with your heart, its happened me. Those people are nothing but scumbags. But there is saying, If you expect this world to be fair, cause you are fair, you are fooling yourself. It likes expecting a lion not to eat you, because you didn't eat him.

At the end of the day, this world is a cold and horrible place, it will beat you to your knees if you let it. No one is going to hit as hard as life, but if you keep taking the punches, then eventually you will be a winner, but we all have to get back up and keep moving forward, otherwise you will never be a winner at anything in life, if you keep letting the bad people hurt you.

The trick with dealing with bad people who want to hurt and rob you of any soul you have got, is not give them that power to see you be unhappy and miserable. We can't control how other people treat us, but we can control how we react to it, and how let it to get to us. No one can strip the power of the way you want to live your life, unless you let them, or of course they kill you.

Most people don't think they are powerful in their own lives, because they let other people dictate their lives so much. You are as powerful as you allow yourself to be. Being a powerful person, doesn't mean being super rich, or running a country, being a powerful person means, not needing anyone to make you happy, and not allowing people to control your life.

So, don't give anyone that pleasure of stripping you of power that way you want to live your life. Never give your power away to these people.

[Anonymous]

This happened to me this year. I fell for a guy who already had a girlfriend. It was my first time to fall so deeply for someone. My ex told me he loved me and asked me to marry him. We got engaged and I introduced him to my friends and family. A month after this happened his girlfriend contacted me. She told me they had been about to move in with each other when he started putting off the date. When I confronted him he said that he started dating me because she had an attitude problem. He suspected that she was cheating so he thought it would be alright if he did the same. I told him that I will forgive him completely if he broke up with her and became mine. He said he didn't wanna hurt her and that he loved us both. He asked me to wait for him to find a good time to stop being with her. I broke up with him right there and then. The same thing happened to two of my bestfriends. smh. It is amazing how carelessly cruel people are. Some people have no honor or respect for others.

[lovedcursed]

Well dear yes this guy is 100% what i spoke about in this article, because selfish user if you think your girlfriend us cheatig on you, yoh freaken break up with her, stay the hell alinr until she realizes her mistake or not and then see what will you do, but your certanily dont go suck away some other innocent life and heart in order to fix your problem, ugh this is so inhuman.. it hurts too much i know i have been there.

[Anonymous]

This happened to me when I was seventeen. He swiped me off my feet, I fell in love quickly. I think the talking about his ex should've been a warning but I did not understand back then. I really thought he liked me until one day after two months he goes completely cold and dumped me saying that we suddenly aren't right for each other, he never wanted anything serious, I shouldn't make a big deal out of it and that it was better for me to suffer with the pain and he apologized for making me fall in love with him. You might think he showed any signs of using me since he told me this but he acted like a boyfriend, this came out of nowhere. He brushed it off and move on while I was REALLY heartbroken. Even though I have moved on and got the last laugh (definitely..) I still remember him because he was one of many that I actually fell in love with and I haven't really experienced the same type of love again, not yet. Now I just want to throw up when I see him and I look at this as a lesson, it made me stronger!

[lovedcursed]

well your story is quite relevant to this article, i can feel you, it hurts too much , specially when they just move on as if you were nothing,,,, i am glad you are over him now, my heart is still in pain, i hope i get over it too

[Opinion Owner]

You will.
As time goes by you start seeing things from a different perspective. You will value yourself enough to realize that you deserve so so so much better than someone who is capable of doing this. It's gonna hurt but it won't hurt forever and once you find someone who loves you in all the right ways you will understand and never settle for less.

[Anonymous]

this happened to me 2 days ago... her manipulative boyfriend dumped her for no reason and already had someone else within a week. after this she started to flirt me but i knew better because although she had said before her relationship even ended that i was a likeable guy and for her true "boyfriend" material i just knew that i was the rebound guy so i didn't go as fast along with her flirting but as time stretched i discovered another "her" and this new her grew on to me and i just fell in love. Even then she always mentioned her ex from time to time and i just knew she wasn't over him yet but i kept going on and gave her my heart. we were almost to the point of making it official and than suddenly she told me her feelings changed and that she didn't knew how but she started having doubts about us and that she would rather have me as just a friend... after all this time (3+ months). the thing that hurts me more is that even tho she crushed my heart i still care for her and i can't imagine myself being with someone else than her... she just feels too special to me to just let go.

[lovedcursed]

it hurts too much i know, it will get better by time i promise you

[KDA20]

I like your take - I think a lot of people will be able to identify with it - Since it is a human behaviour issue making it a crime is difficult because there will always be cases that literally fit the description but spiritually don't - Say for example a widow (er) tries to move on with a new relationship then realises that they are not over deceased partner.
My advice to you is there are approx 3.5 billion men in the world, they all can't be bad. Among that good majority it is very likely a guy for you who will give you the love and respect you deserve.
Okay now it will sound like a cliche used by an old man but you are 23, so young, you have loads of time ahead of you. If you have a positive view of life you allow for the chance of something positive happening to you I think and deep down I feel that is what we all wish for - Good luck with your future

[lovedcursed]

I say they should first take as much time as they need to get over their ex before involving someone else. not that i said people should be 100% sure from the begining. At least go in the new thing with an empty heart, the two who have hurt me, said they love so much and that i am perfect and i am whatbthey have been looking for, even wanted to get engaged, and then after 2 years he met and talked to his ex behind my back, and theen left me for her, saying he first got with me to forget her, and he was the one who contacted her after two years of being withe me.. can you imagine how hurt i was? I was taking medicins to stop the burn in my heart, i never wish that someone else would feel the sane

[lovedcursed]

And thank you for you advice sir :)

[ThisGurl]

Well I feel it is cruel to deliberately hurt somebody. But in times when you go into the relationship, not everybody knows that they feel that way, until it hits them. Sometimes you don't feel that you are not ready, and you have to let go. It would be unfair to the other person if you stayed, since you are not giving your heart to them anymore.

[R3d_Anonymous]

This. It takes people time to figure out that a person is not right for them sometimes.

[lovedcursed]

I say they should first take as much time as they need to get over their ex before involving someone else. not that i said people should be 100% sure from the begining. At least go in the new thing with an empty heart, the two who have hurt me, said they love so much and that i am perfect and i am whatbthey have been looking for, even wanted to get engaged, and then after 2 years he met and talked to his ex behind my back, and theen left me for her, saying he first got with me to forget her, and he was the one who contacted her after two years of being withe me.. can you imagine how hurt i was? I was taking medicins to stop the burn in my heart, i never wish that someone else would feel the sane

[ThisGurl]

I feel like a lot of people feel as if they do move on from their ex's. And maybe they do. And maybe those feelings come back to hit them on the head later if they don't. Who knows. :) Some times, people do not know how they feel, because it is confusing, or difficult to read. Some times, you don't really know, until you are with somebody else. I know it stinks to be on the other end, I can see you have been through a lot, and it is perfectly reasonable for you to feel how you feel. And some people make very bad decision, because their intentions are not very nice. Bottom line is, not everybody is like that. :) That is how I feel.

[lovedcursed]

Well young lady i didn't say everybody is rhe same, i am just saying now and after a lot of people have gotten hurt because of that, lets make a heart to heart request to those who are planning to get into new relationship to take as much alone time as they can, even if they feel they are over it, then still take as much as they can time alone because time does help. and may much attention to their behaviour, like if they are not 100% then just let the new partner know that, but dont just say lets get engaged or anything like that, let the other person know you are in need of time, slow motion and not to jump to assumtion, but just never out of the blue blew them like that, it is so destructive and hurtful, and no , not forgiveable because we are not young and no everybody knows their feelings, and as i said even if they dont know their feelings then just wait a good year before risking it with someone innocent's heart

[bloodmountain1990]

Yeah and that's the thing, one of the biggest things about being rebounded is that you may just end up like them as in becoming the rebounder. After I got rebounded, I was hurt, felt empty and depressed for a few months which really fucked me up and there was this girl I was talking to. We finally met up and she showed a lot of interest and it did help as a distraction but I found myself wanting the rebounder more. It's like I had fun and had good sex with the girl after the rebounder but I just didn't have the feelings there. Luckily it ended up not working out due to the distance and not because I was on the rebound.

[lovedcursed]

ohh god !! please make sure u didn't hurt that girl :S, this is why i have written this take, so people dont do like what you did,

[bloodmountain1990]

I got rebounded 2 years ago and the worst part about it was I never had a relationship, not that I haven't dated, and made it a lot worse.

There were red flags left and right but I didn't know what a rebound was. I had friends that would get into relationships shortly after previous ones ended so I didn't think much of it. The girl who rebounded on me was very physically attractive and we had lots in common which got me attached. Plus she'd fight for my attention and it's almost like she was testing me to see how clingy I was. She'd beg for me to talk when I'm busy but when I would show interest back, she'd act like I was clingy and needy. Really fucked with my head.

[bloodmountain1990]

Bottom line is never ignore red flags, no matter how attractive they are or how many common interests you share. You can also become a clone of the rebounder in the sense that you are looking for other dates while not being over the rebounder. It took me way longer to get over it than usual.

[YazanAA]

Well, yes, people shouldn't play with other people's hearts.

But on the other hand, we should be smart enough to not let others use us and play with our hearts.

Sorry if somebody broke your little-sweet-innocent heart :p

Nice myTake anyway. xD

[HookingSwan]

Yazan
There are some very deceitful people out there. Im not surprised if they'd b able to fake real love for someone very well.

Just saying

[HookingSwan]

I do know u r right

But sometimes we dk the extent of someones manipulation until the very end.

[YazanAA]

@hookingswan yes, I agree with you 110%. There are people who are very sly, they have that talent to act sweetly and nicely, but from the inside, they are so fake and bad people., and yes they will fool you with their fake love no matter how smart and shrewd you are, but we gotta try our best to not let others play with our heart.

[HookingSwan]

Agree as well

[Xoxoxooo123]

After this happened to me I just told myself I would never let a boy treat me like that ever again. So far, so good.

[lovedcursed]

good decision girl, please keep it for a very long time

[OrdinaryGentleman]

It was a well written take however... so many factors and variables in this, it is impossible to be able to be 100% ready after a relationship and confusing even more when people are not honest as well as straight forward with their feelings... bottom line this cannot be helped.

[lovedcursed]

what can't be helped?, can you explain?, no people should take a long time by themselves to heal their feelings and make up their minds to move on, they shouldn't rush themselves and as a result hurt others who didn't do anything

[Gummybearlover]

I got rebounded for two years... I really liked him. I actually thought he liked me in those two years of "talking" but I was just the other girl. But yeah it's definitely fuc*#% up if something even remotely like that happens to anyone.

[lovedcursed]

yes mine was 2 years as well, and i got really really hurt when he contacted and met her after two years of our relationship, i actually got into medicines and i was diagnosed of some heart disease as a result of this hurtful experience he has put me through

[kdizzleforizzle91]

This is the main problem I've had with the men I've dated. They haven't known what they really want, and talk to me just to "figure it out" or "see what's out there" when I have the end goal of finding a long term relationship.

[lovedcursed]

yes it is very disappointing, and misleading, and dishonest

[Azara]

well you shouldn't get involved with people assuming evrutung will work out. Just stay realistic and check in periodically to see everyone is or isn't on the same page. Communicate. Don't assume.

[lovedcursed]

I say they should first take as much time as they need to get over their ex before involving someone else. not that i said people should be 100% sure from the begining. At least go in the new thing with an empty heart, the two who have hurt me, said they love so much and that i am perfect and i am whatbthey have been looking for, even wanted to get engaged, and then after 2 years he met and talked to his ex behind my back, and theen left me for her, saying he first got with me to forget her, and he was the one who contacted her after two years of being withe me.. can you imagine how hurt i was? I was taking medicins to stop the burn in my heart, i never wish that someone else would feel the sane

[Starfishlover]

THANK YOU FOR THIS TAKE!!!

Especially when guys get your number and don't want anything to do with you.

I couldn't even get this guy to have SEX with me today!

[Johnyk]

That sounds a bit surprising. Did you ask him? (or he probably was afraid to ask you?)

[Starfishlover]

I was going to go to his house and he told me to not come

[666threesixes666]

you have no doubts or fears about him, maybe he's got some about you. i've refused a beautiful woman coming on to me strong that i really liked because she made me feel insecure and stressed out.

[Anonymous]

But I still don't understand how all the play fights, hugs, messages, calls don't mean anything to them... just how? I mean it's only natural to fall in love when you spend so much time with that person

[bloodmountain1990]

well a lot of times when a person on the rebound who clearly isn't ready shows a lot of interest and wants the attention, they don't want it but they NEED it and you happen to be the first person. This can falsely prop your ego and fuck you up. I went through the same thing. It's like this girl I started talking to on the rebound would throw herself at me and beg for my attention and when I let loose and showed interest back, she backed off. Really fucked with my head.

[lovedcursed]

yes it happened to be too, and has really destroyed me, and my ego

[kangy]

I agree totally if a person is not ready he or she shouldn't jump into any rs and end up hurting the innocent

[Johnyk]

Agree with you. Most people simply jump into relationships due to peer pressure.

[alonzoslade]

The saddest part is in order to get back at a woman I pretended to love her for an entire year and then I eradicated her hopes for our relationship, her name was lindsey.

[IdkImJustMe]

That's just sad for you

[alonzoslade]

I agree, I am going to therapy for my bitterness.

[lovedcursed]

What do u mean by get back at a woman?

[alonzoslade]

in terms of revenge

[Anonymous]

Well the jail time thing was pretty stupid, but the rest of your take was good.

[bloodmountain1990]

Yeah jailtime and death are pretty extreme, but still fucked over one way or the other lol.

[Anonymous]

What's even worse than that is when a supposed loved one does something cruel to teach you a valuable life lesson.

[Sriabdhini17]

Wowww amazing!! thank youu