So, before I start let me say I know that what I am about to discuss is the minority. I am most likely not talking about you but others so please do not take offence.
This was one of those really great take ideas I had before bed last night, it's amazing how clear your mind becomes before you fall asleep and then you wake up with a cloudy recollection of the clarity! So please forgive me if I forget my point, last night it was crystal!
So back in the old times (think way past medieval and back to our cave dwelling days) we met, we mated, we had kids and for survival reasons became somewhat monogamous creatures with safety in numbers. Today things are different, while some of us want to find our mate and help to overpopulate the planet while remaining loyal to our SO, a completely different sort of person has evolved.
This person you can usually find in clubs with their friends and are usually the gluttons... they like everything in huge amounts, sex, alcohol, fake tan... they go home with different people every weekend/night and they hate the commitment of a relationship. When they do try one though they never give their all in either a fear of settling down or getting hurt. You are now saying these people are commitment phobes but really they aren't they just dont know how to love properly so don't understand love they receive.
So many of you amazing GAGers come on saying 'does he like me?' 'does she love me back?' I think it's usually people like myself who get the whole love thing and want to settle down (not settle for) with someone who is with one of these newly evolved creatures.
Let me clarify that the evolution is from here; in the 1930s a man took a wife, in the 1940s it became more about love and living for those who could not. in the 1950s it became very much a retail lifestyle and keeping up with the Jones'. Somehow life became building a bigger, better family and love was no longer enough. It became financial and people started working long hours away and were never home and then families became normal to be split or to live apart and the modern day family is often just a signle parent household.
I have found that these people are usually the ones who spoil their kids for one reason or another and think they can make up for the lack of a perent with giving their kids the material goods they want. However in some cases, I have also found that when a single child has 2 very busy parents (who don't both have to work but were more career driven than family driven) they are often sent to their room with a new toy or games console and they spend a lot of time on their own. These kids are our new species.
My boyfriend is one, he doesn't grasp that I dont want an Ipad for my birthday. I want something little that he picked himself for me. He doesn't grasp that I need affection or attention and that I work hard for us and so want that time. All in all it makes me feel unloved but this is because the only love he knows is alienation, being brought out the cupboard for various social events. These kids find it hard to interact, they are now forming an adult band of people, who don't understand what it is to not get what they want. They dont understand an argument so run away. They throw a tantrum when they dont get what they want, have no understanding of budgets or any form of organisation. They are certainly not aspring to meet another person to settle down as they have had no need for anyone else so why would they when they can do what they want, when they want and nobody will care?!
I had a normal 2 parent, 2 child household upbringing. Money wasn't great but we did well as kids and never wanted for much. My dad worked extra hard and we did well at birthdays and Christmas. We would always sit on the couch and snuggle, watching a film... We had family time and a lot of the times I had to share things with my brother and thats ok, I love him and he took care of me. This taught us selfishness was bad, we wanted to do anything to make another happy. Watching our father we knew hard work was always needed and my mother taught me to take care of my man.
The people now who are struggling to display a lot of these affections will either not reproduce, or they will and will struggle to not pass on their upbringing to them. So how do we change this? By persevering. My partner drives me crazy but I have realised he is socially impaired. He will always push me away and fight me when I show him love but at the moment he is slowly learning and he is getting better.
I have to get back to work (my boss is sat at the cube next to mine) and there is so much I want to say, mainly getting to the point but in my sleep I seem to have forgotten the majority of this!
I know a lot of people have been treated like my boyfriend and ended up normal, I know this is a small minority so don't mean to cause offence. I just know that the people who are the ones who enjoy showing love should never give up on one of these people. They need love too, they just dont know it.
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