Friends fawning over their significant others endlessly, as if they’re the next Aphrodites or Adonis, is nothing new. Whether it be rambling on to no end about how ‘amazing’ it was that their significant other knew their order at Starbucks to a ‘t’ (black coffee, no room for cream), or praising how effortlessly they take control in the bedroom and just ‘have their way’ with then. Even though, prior to this relationship, they were the most vanilla person out there.
Anyone listening will generally just put up with it. At first dismissing it as their friend still being in the ‘honey moon phase’, enjoying the view through their rose-coloured glasses. After a few months though, these stores will begin to sound uncomfortably perfect. Sure, relationships in some movies/TV shows are perfect as well. Which is exactly why they’re on our television screens; something to aspire to, to work towards becoming more like, but in reality, it’s unattainable.
To meet someone who, everything they do is downright perfect, from all their quirks, how they display behaviours of being the ‘perfect gentleman’ or housewife, to how they wipe their ass, is straight up weird and in no way healthy.
Falling blindly in love
The ‘honeymoon period’ is a phase commonly experienced in the first stages of dating when one or both parties become pro at masking any insecurities they may have, their flaws, be they physical or emotional, etc.. In other words, it’s a time when we fall in love with glossed over versions of each other, only to see if we can still put up with them when how this individual is in reality hits us like a dump-truck a few months into the relationship.
…usually. Not always, though. Some people prefer to hold onto this ‘perfect’ version of their partner. To remain in denial of how yes, as good-looking or well poised they may be, they’re just as human as all the rest of us plebs. They’ll have a few scars on their body, they’ll sometimes get sick, and yes, even have to throw-up.
Here are a few reasons as to why it is not doing anybody any favours to put your boyfriend or girlfriend on a pedestal, and leave them there indefinitely;
1. It ups the pressure on them
Knowing that your sanity depends on them living up to these completely unrealistic standards that you’ve placed upon them will more than likely eventually lead to your partner walking.
2. Counterproductive in terms of keeping lines of communication open
They may end up feeling insecure about showing you the ‘flaws’ or imperfections that make them who they are in case they catch onto the incredibly high expectations you have of them.
3. It’ll end up making them feel even worse about themselves.
When they see you treating them as if they are basically made of plastic and straight out of a fairy-tale, the contrast between that and who they truly are, bodily functions and insecurities included, will seem even greater to them.
4. You won’t be in love with THEM.
You’ll be in love or infatuated with the idea of who they are; this idealistic fantasy you’ve created all on your own. This could lead to you spending the rest of your life with someone you don’t truly know, or things falling apart when you realize the situation you got yourself into. Either way, it won’t end well.
5. Putting your significant other on a pedestal will also impede them working on bettering themselves as a person.
They’ll have no reason to work on improving themselves because, if you’re already happy with ‘them’, why fix it if it ain’t broke?
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