We ALL SETTLE when we stay with a partner

[Anonymous]

Don't we all settle for a partner if we stay with them? After all, isn't there always someone better out there? Someone better looking, more compatible, and so on?

Isn't saying, "I will never settle! or I refuse to ever settle!" just a fiction we tell ourselves to make ourselves feel better?

Now, there is settling, and then there is settling. haha. I am not saying we should have no or little standards and "settle" for anyone. But I am saying that at the end, no matter how careful we are in our selection, we end up settling. It is just factually true.

That is myTake! Thanks for reading ^^

[9mfeo]

I disagree. While that may coincide with the letter of the expression, it doesn't really capture the spirit of the statement.

When you "settle" for a partner, you accept someone that you know that you're incompatible with (no attraction, no common interests, etc.) to avoid being alone. When you get into a relationship with someone, you choose to stay with someone because you ARE in some ways compatible, regardless of whether there could be a perfect partner for you elsewhere.

[myTake Owner]

I agree it doesn't "capture the spirit of the statement." The point, however, is that people often use the phrase "I won't settle" to mean they won't "choose to stay with someone" unless they are perfect--perfectly compatible. As you suggest, that is impossible. The spirit of the statement, in other words, is often (more often than not!) lost by the very people who use it. Hence, the usefulness in discussing the matter the way I do.

[9mfeo]

Seeing as this statement is usually used by drunken sorority girls and fuckboys, the "usefulness" of having a meaningful discussion about the statement is rather limited.

[myTake Owner]

Obviously, we disagree about who uses the term in what way and how often.

[RomansToPhilemon]

Many women won't settle in their 20's. When they turn 30+ though, they are the same ones on GAG asking the these questions. Why won't any guy date me? Where are all the good guys? Am I too old now to even date? Do men find me attractive anymore? Should I just give up now since I am 30?

So stop trying to one-up every guy and settle.

[skeptic007]

he's right I know women who are in there 40's still talking like she is

[SexyStudent]

And that is why at age 25 I've never had a boyfriend. They smother you. They stunk your growth. They suffocate. They want to go to do lunch with you then every Friday then go steady all kinds of crap, then meet the parents. I have dated many guys I have slept with an enormous number of people. It has taught me about life and relationships. All the while I did not have the emotional baggage to carry of a boyfriend so I could continue my studies and advance my education. Not only did I not suffer but I think that I have matured to a far greater degree than had I had a boyfriend from age 18 etc. this new thing with shacking up when you're 17 and thinking you know about life is ridiculous

[myTake Owner]

Hi catfish 😜

[Rufus335]

its not settling if you want to be with that person.

you should "settle" with the person you want to spend the rest of you life with. This isn't a grade on a test, there's no i could do better. And indeed if you wanted to do "better" then no you shouldn't "settle" with tat person

[myTake Owner]

It's possible to not want to do better, yet acknowledge that there is better out there.

[Rufus335]

if you think you can "do better" then you should not sell yourself short and be with that person

[myTake Owner]

Isn't it factually true that everyone in a relationship can do better? To think not is to believe in a fairy tale... Like soul mate

[Rufus335]

if you want to be with someone and noone else isn't that a soul mate?

[Anonuser2020]

When you enter a relationship, you aren't necessarily "settling", but you may need to compromise just a bit. "Settling" to me almost means accepting anyone just to not be single for the rest of your life (like settling for total loser). I wouldn't say settling if you found that perfect person for you because you may like something that you never thought you would like before you met that compatible person.

[myTake Owner]

Maybe compromise and settling mean different things. They certainly do in your conception! Even then, however, can't we say we always comprimise when we are in a relationship? In other words, it is impossible to choose someone without compromising. It's also still true that there is always someone better out here, a point you did not directly address.

[Anonuser2020]

If you keep on thinking "there is someone better out there" even if are totally content/have a great life w/the person you are w/, you will never be happy. Same w/jobs/cars/computer etc, there is always something better out there.

[myTake Owner]

I agree! I just made the same point you did in your last sentence! Some people prefer to lie to themselves and claim they have the absolute best.

[AnnVdB]

I dont like the idea of shoping for a person at all; Me and my boyfriend love each other a lot and we are very compatible yet there are always points to disgaree on but in a relationship you communicate and work things out; Love is waaay stronger ; REAL love at least. Trust me, when you find the right person for you , you won't think about shopping around.

[myTake Owner]

Whether you shop around, or think about it or not, the reality is that there is always someone better out there. I'm just saying that that is a reality that people might want to accept or live in denial. I believe you can have a wonderful, long-lasting, relationship realizing that that is the reality.

[Chief16]

https://cdn.meme.li/instances/300x300/64470471.jpg
You mean settling down. Specifically.

[myTake Owner]

Yes and no

[Chief16]

Yes and no? What the heck does that mean? When you 'settle' for a partner it feels like you're plugging a cork in a hole or something.

[Joc4Position]

I don't think so. I don't believe in someone being better. Is there someone more compatible than to you than the person you're with? Maybe. Maybe not. Who knows?

[myTake Owner]

While you are correct there is uncertainty if someone else might be more compatible or not. It is safe to safe there probably is someone better. Thinking otherwise is being way too idealistic...

[Joc4Position]

Eh I don't think of it that way. I think of it as a large group of people who could be a match. I don't really worry about that so long I'm compatible with that person. Nobody is perfect to me.

[M_A_X]

You settle or you spend the rest of your life alone.

The point in life is deciding where you draw that line

[FatherJack]

Basically , no one in perfect , so there will always be an element of " settling " , good take !!

[tupperware]

Huh. Let it never be said that the BBD is just a joke or that hypergamy doesn't real.

[KBob93]

Unless you wish to stay single for the rest of your life, this whole take is an oxy-moron.

[orphan]

it's settling when you plan and carry out long term goals together

[skeptic007]

you sure cause as far as I'm concerned
I'm better than you
and I'm sure most of the guys on G@G are better than you

[homper87]

No, because there may be better out there, but your partner is the best for you.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you have a brain! I approve of your analysis.

[myTake Owner]

Thanks!

[legalboxers]

I think at some point, we do give up and throw away our ideas. Me.. I want someone normal.

[DarkHumorRUs]

Haha, OnePlus master race.

[DarkHumorRUs]

But seriously, if you find someone you really like, you're "soulmate", you are not even thinking about whether there is someone better out there. Because they are the best thing to happen to you.

So your argument is invalid.

[myTake Owner]

Whether you ink about it or not, the reality is that there is someone better out there.

[IcyBastet]

I agree!

[myTake Owner]

Thanks 🙏🏻