Things I Know About Girls...

pervertedjester
Things I Know About Girls...

As the age old saying goes "Women, you can't live with them and you can't live without them." I think the guy that said that meant there are no Man-uals for them (Not that we would read them anyways.) and no matter how much you want to, sometimes, you can't quit them. (Not entirely, you always have to deal with Mom and or sisters.) Hate them all you want but we always end up forgetting about the heart and headaches after a while. And in my younger days I always forgot to learn the lesson of the last relationship and relied merely on chance. When I did start paying attention to the lessons I learned fast. For the better part of my late twenties I guarded the secrets I found out about Women. Thinking "Why should I tell anyone? They need to earn it like I did!" Thankfully my Ego backed off with age. (It's still there but easier to ignore now.)



And if a 16yr old Girl @SweetHomicidalQueen can write down what she knows about Guys than a 36yr old Guy can piece together a sample list of what he knows about Girls. And here it is:


Things I Know About Girls...

1. Women are soft and smooth to the touch and enjoy romance but.... sometimes... they like it rough.


Maybe not all the time but they do like to be thrown on a table (providing that it's stable enough) or a counter from time to time. If their hair is long enough you might try pulling it in that position we all like or pinning their hands to the wall while you kiss and tease them. Romance is good but sometimes they want a Guy to be a MAN!


Things I Know About Girls...

2. Flowers


Flowers are good for cheering Women up only and do not count as proper Birthday/Anniversary gifts. Massages/Spa Days work best for gifts in my experience. For Bonus Points with your Woman send her Flowers at work and for no other reason than loving her. (I think they like this because it makes other Women jealous.) I've actually been told by some Boyfriends/Husbands to stop because it was making them look bad. Which only encouraged me.


Things I Know About Girls...

3. Stick up for them.


I'm not saying fight their battles but take their side in arguments with other people. Even if they're wrong. When they calm down the usually fact check themselves and you avoid another argument. Or stand up for them when someone outside their family puts them down. If family puts them down let it go until you can discuss it in private with her then saying "Next time I'm stopping it."


Things I Know About Girls...

4. Notes


Just like in school slipping them a love note every once in a while will do wonders in making them happy and feeling loved.


Things I Know About Girls...

5. Sometimes the best dates are the cheapest.


Go for a walk on the beach or through a park, take her back to your place and make dinner, break out the crayons, play-doh, legos basically treat it like a kid's date. She'll relax and enjoy it more.


Things I Know About Girls...

6. Women have Boobies, Butts and Vaginas!


(Those are perks by the way.) And I like to end on a Happy thought... mainly I just like saying Boobies.



What do you say Ladies? Did I do good? Please don't hurt me...

Things I Know About Girls...
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