We Love A Man Who Remembers The Details 👨🏽💭👩🏻

[justbanANNAz]

You wanna know the difference between a 'good man' and a 'great man'? THIS IS IT.*

You wanna go from a 'good' boyfriend/husband/partner/best friend to being 'wonderful'? THIS IS HOW.*

* Women aren't exempt from this advice. Same goes. I'm just talking to the men today.

Get to know her [Surface Details]:

You're like, 'duh'. That's because this is the simple bit that arguably 90% of men will stop at. No, that is not a statistic. What IS a statistic however, is that the divorce rate is creeping around that 50% mark, and if that doesn't disgust you at all, then I'm not sure commitment is something you want bad enough. Don't let some figure stop you. Let it help you raise the bar instead.🙌🏽

So what does this have to do with anything?

Well, there are a myriad of reasons as to why couples don't last, but I'm sticking to one. Not studying each other well enough FROM THE START. Today's generations are all about this life...

1st.

2nd.

3rd.

Home.

You know I ain't talking about baseball. ⚾️

Tell me, did you find out anything about her hobbies, family life or favourite things before you had sex with her? Did you even know her last name before you took her to the back seat of your car? Did you listen to her whine about her schooling life, or shut her up to kiss her every time? Did you even bother asking her how she's doing, or are you jumping right into the sexting attempts? Do you notice her looks and personality together? Do you see her as separate body parts, or as an entire human being?

You catch my drift? You want to run to home too fucking fast. This is how a relationship crumbles.👎🏽

How do you fix it? 🔨

For the car freaks, let's pretend that a relationship is a road, okay? and you're driving in the car with your girl right? PLEASE pretend that EVERY traffic light you come across is on yellow/orange.

SLOW THE EFF DOWN. 😑✋🏽🚦🚗

Quit taking risks hot-shot. Get some surface details, and give it TIME. Surface details are anything that could be considered 'general knowledge'. Something almost anyone could easily know or find out about this woman.

EXAMPLES:

- her name would be a GREAT start :P

- her favourite colour

- her favourite music genre/artists/songs

- her favourite food/s. Big one if you're aiming to impress with some wine and dine, ya feel? ;)

- her likes and dislikes

- what makes her laugh

- what colour are her eyes?

- her favourite season?

- her fears?

- any hobbies? art, sport, writing, reading?

Boy if you wanna get ANYWHERE with a woman, you best believe those examples right there are just the beginning...

Get to REALLY know her [Deeper Details]:

Nowww we're gonna get somewhere. If you really want to impress a woman, you'll have to go beyond just knowing her favourite colour or how tall she is.

[Let me clear something up real quick. You will NEVER find me condoning fwbs, escorts, one night stands, casual sex and anything else of the sort. Do I judge people who have that lifestyle? NUH UH. Do i agree with it? No. I don't have to. Moving on.]

In discussing serious, committed relationships, man you need to understand that your girl needs to be studied before you even THINK about stepping your ass out onto the field to start running to 1st, 2nd, 3rd and home. 😒

Let's assume you've now acquired the surface details. If that's all you want to know, please don't waste her time if she's looking for more.

So how to REALLY get to know her? HOW TO UNDERSTAND WOMEN???!!!! 😱

Treat your woman like she's the ocean.

She is endless and can leave you breathless,

but IF she's worth it, keep diving anyway.❤️

The deeper details^^^. These are the kinds of details which set this girl apart from the rest. They could be anything from her habits to her weaknesses, to her imperfections to how she acts when she feels a certain way.

They're so specific that it feels like barely anyone takes the time to notice, but you? You do. 👌🏽

EXAMPLES:

- Maybe she's got a beauty mark on the right side of her neck.

- Maybe she files her nails in an oval shape, and you love it.

- Maybe she always pushes her glasses up her nose bridge while she's reading.

- Maybe she always crosses her left thigh over her right. Never the other way around.

- She might tap on a desk when she's nervous.

- She might bite on her thumb when she's anxious.

- She has a scar on her right knee. Probably from soccer. [since you know from the surface details that she plays ;P ]

- She has stretch marks on her hips/ tummy or thighs.

- She likes pineapples cut in rings, not cubes.

- Maybe she twirls her hair when she's shy.

- She wears a particular style of jewellery often. Maybe that's her favourite kind.

- She uses elipses when she's sending a text while upset.

- There's that unmistakable look she gives you when she wants to be kissed... on the forehead.

- You notice that her mouth is slightly open when she applies eyeliner.

- She always carries mints in her purse.

- She's always 5 minutes early.

- She smiles every time she sees a baby, and cringes every time she sees a cat [this is me :P ]

This making sense? This is how you win a woman's heart. It's called .... wait for it... EFFORT. #GentlemenAreSEXY 👅

I should note that this isn't creepy. I'm guessing people will think it seems stalkerish, but it isn't supposed to be. If you use your head, you'll understand that there's a right way of doing this.

You see, any man can tell a woman she's beautiful. Any man can flirt if he wants to. Any man can strip her down to a naked body... but not many can strip her down to her naked soul. 💭

You want something that lasts? THAT is how it's done. But if you don't want commitment? I don't know why you read till this point.

Have fun, be smart. ✌🏽

---

~ j.B🍌

[AleDeEurope]

Hmm though it's true what you said about stripping her to her naked soul and knowing every single detail about her in order to have something that lasts, I disagree with having to wait to know all that before having sex.
You can easily have something that lasts even after sleeping together on the first date.
If a man is interested on a woman, having sex won't stop him from being interested in the brand of dog food she buys for her dog, and how many lines she has on her hands.
So you can make a home run very early in the relationship, when you don't know much about her yet, and still have a lasting relationship. It's all about keeping the same amount of interest on her throughout the whole relationship.

[redeyemindtricks]

That ^^
Yeah.

Not to mention the fact that "the details" includes all the little things that make sex special and unique with that person, too.
For some of us at least, those are the things that make us fall deeper and deeper in love.

[AleDeEurope]

@redeyemindtricks Exactly. I don't think you can get a full 100% connection with your partner if you don't have sex.

[justbanANNAz]

Lol i never implied that. Never said everyone should be a virgin to understand each other better. makes no sense and makes it seem like u think im close minded.

[justbanANNAz]

@redeyemindtricks lol no, the details aren't gonna b the same for everyone, especially people who willingly won have sex till a later point.

[AleDeEurope]

I never mentioned you saying we have to be virgins. I'm just saying that you're implying that if you want a lasting relationship, you shouldn't sleep with her until you know enough details about her.
I disagree. You can end up marrying her even after sleeping together on the first date, when you know very little about her.

[justbanANNAz]

Where did i say that? Lol i said u need to know enough about them before u sleep with them, doesn't matter when that is.
I dont agree that sleeping with someone while knowing very little is gonna lead to anything lasting, and by lasting i mean 10+ years.

[AleDeEurope]

You just said it again "i said u need to know enough about them before u sleep with them, doesn't matter when that is.
I dont agree that sleeping with someone while knowing very little is gonna lead to anything lasting, and by lasting i mean 10+ years."
I disagree with that. You can have a 10+ year relationship if you sleep with her before knowing details about her.
I don't know what you're understanding from my comments, but I keep repeating myself.

[justbanANNAz]

Right. Ill just agree to disagree.

[redeyemindtricks]

I waited 2 hours to go to bed with my husband -- of which at least 1.5 hours was just logistical barriers -- and we just celebrated our 15th wedding anniversary this month. That's been 15 years of a marriage that's done nothing but get better, deeper, and hotter.

"Disagree" all you want. I'll be over here, happily married. <3

[XNicholeMariex3]

This was just beautiful... I adore this mytake so sooo much!
Girl, go write a book! I don't even really read books but I'd read anything from you! (I really should start reading books, I just need good recommendations).

And I love the quote you used "Treat your woman like she's the ocean. She is endless and can leave you breathless, but IF she's worth it, keep diving anyway."
Just beautiful. I really would love to have a guy who thinks it's worth knowing me like that. Someone who would like to know my soul.

[justbanANNAz]

aw, this honestly makes me so happy, thank you <3
haha i'd love to! we'll see how we go =] for a start, i know ur traditional like me. read anything by Jane Austen, you'll love her.

thanks :) I don't know stuff like that just comes to me when I'm passionate lol. You deserve to have all that, and im sure you'll find it someday.

[XNicholeMariex3]

Thank you!!! ❤

[coachTanthony]

I simply couldn't agree more. Very nice Take... so true.

[justbanANNAz]

Thank u so much :)

[Other_Tommy_Wiseau]

the problem isn't always that we can't remember things so much as it is that women tend to want to remember some of the most irrelevant minutia about them. in fairness, there are some things that most guys can be better about, like birthdays or anniversaries... but i mean most people are terrible at dates. i don't even know the vast majority of my family's birthdays

1 thing i really do agree with is the divorce thing. and not so much about the divorce as much as what it says about people. now, the reason that divorce is so much more prevalent is because the way society sees it now vs what it was like, say, 50 years ago. this is due to many more factors than just falling out of love or cheating or whatever, but that's another topic. but what is the point is that people today are generally terrible communicators. hell, look at this site. how many questions are like "does my boyfriend think i'm stupid?", "does my girlfriend think my dick is big enough?", "does my boyfriend think i'm annoying?". it's like, why don't y'all ask your boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife instead of us?

[justbanANNAz]

I do agree with that. Thanks👏🏽

[Psi_Unknown]

I agree; those questions become annoyingly redundant rather quickly.

[Other_Tommy_Wiseau]

@Psi_Unknown it's the worst. people are stupid and obnoxious about it, too.

[TripleAce]

Well this was interesting. Now I think that any two people that connect well would do all this naturally. The issue comes down to mismatch ups. Putting more weight on what they want rather than what works.

When you find someone that really just works... He/she is going to think that way naturally. What you described up there, all those points can be summed up in one word, falling in 'love'

L
O
V
E

I like the effort you put in writing and the consistency from start to finish. Fun stuff

[justbanANNAz]

Thanks for the input. I do agree, but sometimes i feel like most people force themselves to fall in love, silly as it sounds. Ur right though, if it REALLY is natural then it should all fall into place.

Also thank u for recognising that lol, i appreciate it. I dont do anything half-assed.

[Psi_Unknown]

Okay, I can sort of see the point about getting to know someone, but remembering is really challenging. Sometimes details are not even that important, all that should matter is you want to be with that person or love them romantically speaking. The truth is that memories fade or become lost. Does the time of that first meaningful event really matter on three-hundred and sixty-five or sixty-six day cycles? Sometimes even the women that have these expectations on men don't know or remember. Seriously, what was your man wearing on a day that was meaningful to him, not you?

[justbanANNAz]

The point is that it's challenging :) as i said, it's up to ur judgement to know what i mean by the kinds of things u remember.

[Psi_Unknown]

Let me see if I am following your line of thinking correctly. Sorry if I fail to understand this correctly. Your point is that is challenging but also worthwhile to remember [the details] or put forth the effort to notice and describe or say something. Are you saying one chooses what is important? Worth the effort? Worth noticing? Worth remembering? If that is the case, I am not sure I agree, but maybe I am not following what you mean...

[justbanANNAz]

I'm saying it's worthwhile, and I'm saying there are things that are important. you dont choose them, but you choose to see them.

[Psi_Unknown]

Basically, important things are important, but one choses to notice them?

[justbanANNAz]

This is my opinion, yes. If you dont like it, im fine with that.

[Psi_Unknown]

Well, I was seriously trying to understand your position, what can I say, I am dumb. I am not really here to like or not like (or dislike) opinions. I guess my opinion would be I don't know, and am not sure if it's possible to choose or to what degree, which might have contributed to my confusion. Anyway, thanks for clarifying your opinion on the matter!

[Johnson123]

"for the car freaks"... that caught my attention :p LOOL if the light is yellow i speed through it :)

I like your quotes! lol at the last picture. Sometimes i still try to understand my girlfriend, it's like trying to fix a car that always has problems XD

Great MyTake.. i have been doing this before and I don't know if it helped me get my girlfriend but i was always nice to her, thought about her, willing to help her, be the first one for her when she needed something. Great mytake tho once again. Sometimes i forget somethings my girlfriend says but... meh... it's ok lol... except for the time i forgot to pick her up from school O_O (best believe i got yelled at in the car lol). But great job!!!

[justbanANNAz]

Haha seems like im the only proper driver here!!

And thank you :)

LMAO well hey u still better keep trying to figure ur lady out!

[Johnson123]

Lol, oh trust me, i try and figure her out and learn something about her everyday :p

[justbanANNAz]

Good man :)

[Cosytoasty]

Good take, quite a few could learn from this. There is something about taking in (usually asinine) details that girls seem to fall head over heels for. Oddly enough when the girlfriend does it for me i appreciate it, but i don't 'really' care lol - as in i won't get angry if she forgets.

One thing though, yellow light doesn't mean slow down where i'm from, it means speed the fuck up so the guy behind can make it through too xD.

[justbanANNAz]

Totally agree. People underesimate its importance.

LOL im gonna pretend i didn't see that!👮🏽

[Other_Tommy_Wiseau]

lol. i thought the same thing with the yellow light

[tyber1]

I agree that paying attention to the details is key and I'm the kind of guy who notices those details but I disagree that you have to wait for anything, that's nonsense, if you're the type of guy that catches the details it doesn't matter if you have sex on the first date or the tenth date.

[justbanANNAz]

Fair enough. Never said you HAVE to wait though. People are getting hung up on the sex when that's not my point. Have sex whenever u want idc, but u should have enough knowledge about who ur making love with if ur serious about her.

[RobAtomic]

( clap, clap, clap ) Great summary and I agree ! I have to also mention that you are in fact very unique and wise beyond your years ! Keep up the great work ! :-) and Thank you for being you the world may not express it but you do make a difference !!!

[justbanANNAz]

Gosh, thank you so much.

[RobAtomic]

You are Welcome and please continue the mission to help others understand, it is the path that will help our society the most, Understanding !!! ;-)

[smahala1991]

Great take, I can totally agree to this. It is the little things that attracts some of us to certain women. Like you said it could be the way she wears her. glasses, the way she taps hwr knuckles on the desk, or the way shw listens to our. problems and is very sympathetic rather than condescending.

[justbanANNAz]

Definitely. U got it👏🏽

[smahala1991]

Take a look at mine I wrote

[smahala1991]

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a27268-what-makes-women-attractive-in-my-mind

[Redstang88]

You make good points, unfortunately I just dont remember little things like that. If something doesn't interest me, its gone in seconds.
And cars analogies may not be the best idea- my car is constantly costing me money, loud, and always giving me grief over some stupid little thing I can't figure out.

[justbanANNAz]

thanks. that's alright, i guess it should be the genuine attempt that counts. :) if a girl can't appreciate at least that, then she isn't worth it.

[Lostsoulman]

I have to disagree a bit, Only works if the girl likes you already.

If the girl likes you and you remember something about her then she will love you.

However, if said girl doesn't like you, and you remember something about her, you seem like a total creep, something is wrong with you.

[justbanANNAz]

that's fine, although as i said, if u go about it the right way, u can impress her if she hasn't had feelings for u previously. i know a few girls who've experienced that.

i get where ur coming from though. maybe it isn't as common, but definitely not impossible =]

[Spiorad_Aisce]

Great take - Very sound advice don't be in such a rush - Learning things about an SO is a learning process about yourself also - A relationship is a marathon not a sprint.

[justbanANNAz]

Thank you xx

[Phoenix98]

A great mytake and wonderful and very true advice but I'd be dammed if I could actually say it works in the long run as it never as for me. O well maybe next time *shrugs* always a next time.

[justbanANNAz]

Thanks. It will always work to an extent. Remember that it's just one of several factors that determine your chances, but it helps a lot.

[Phoenix98]

I'm more then well aware of that, it just never seems to make a difference irregardless of what I do. And to be frank I'm just tired... so very tired.

[Moose2coolvargas]

Yeah. I don't know, some people would be creeped out I think when you point out something like mannerisms and the like. Id feel like a stalker especially since the the girl used to be friends just dropped me cause I asked her about something she posted on her Facebook wall in person, like a cake she made.. hasn't talked to me that much since... she looked at me like deer in headlights. I have no idea

[Humping_Tornadoes]

It's true the way to make a relationship work is to actually get to know the other person. However, sometimes sex happens first/faster than how you get to know the other in detail, and that's something you can't control, and it doesn't necessarily take away the desire to know someone. Great take, anyways. 👏👍

[DaniaMQ]

"You see, any man can tell a woman she's beautiful. Any man can flirt if he wants to. Any man can strip her down to a naked body... but not many can strip her down to her naked soul. " can't AGREE MORE 👌 this is so true! You always know exactly what to say! 😎

Amazing MyTake! ❤

[justbanANNAz]

THANK YOU <3 :)🍌

[DaniaMQ]

Welcome 😊❤

[mrsingle]

I lose out to men who barely know their own name, I cannot believe women care if we remember details like that. I am good at remembering and listening, yet I'm single with no friends and people forget my birthday.

[mrsingle]

As a matter of fact, I was told I'm "obsessed" knowing too much about a girl I know, nobody sees it as a good trait.

[justbanANNAz]

Well as i said, if it's done in an obsessive way then it can come off wrong, but as a woman, im telling u that we love it a lot... Like a lotttt, when it's done right.

[mrsingle]

Everything comes off wrong, people are too sensitive

[Kountry_King]

Yeah well I've done all this with a girl and still got left with no answer for a couple of weeks then finally. Then finally I was told the spark was gone.

[justbanANNAz]

As i mentioned to someone else, this doesn't guarantee chemistry. This guarantees understanding. Very important difference.

[Kountry_King]

There was chemistry totally clicked , mind , spirit and physically that's why I don't understand lol

BTW: Great take 👏👏

[justbanANNAz]

i see. well i guess these things happen for reasons out of our control. i hope you find something stronger =]
thank you so much.

[Imafreespirit]

i really loved this! :) i find it so sweet when they can remember all those little things, it shows they care haha and that definitely gets me :P

[justbanANNAz]

Thanks :) agreed

[karahiri]

It's kind of sad that guys need to be told to care about the details. I wonder why so many don't naturally care.

[AleDeEurope]

Guys that don't care about the details don't care about the girl. When you care about a girl you WANT to know those little details and everything about her. So if a guy doesn't ask, he doesn't care.

[justbanANNAz]

I agree. It's quite important i think.

[skykidx1]

Some do care

[justbanANNAz]

@skykidx1 I'm sure many do. i believe she meant the majority =]

[skykidx1]

I guest so because it's something I do care about a lot but it's not enough to get you a date. in faCT I use to write Why I like you note to girls