Women getting rejected isn’t a much talked about thing in society, although it does happen more than most people really realize, and especially more than women themselves are going to even admit. Females generally don’t approach guys as much as vice versa, and they don’t really have to - and I’m not one of those guys who thinks females should be the ones to approach - but the ones who do still face rejection like guys have. Even women who don’t approach men can experience rejection if they showed a guy indirect interest that he just didn’t care for.
Desirability…
Although male rejection is a common topic, and people like saying how badly guys can’t handle rejection, that’s not really entirely true. People like trying to say how rejected guys go crazy and kill people as an answer, but that's not most guys. Not to mention you have women who will kill or try to make another woman's life miserable just because the guy chose her instead. Women will do crazy, stupid things in the name of getting or keeping a man. I don't hear about guys doing that much for a woman.
It’s actually more common for women to be sensitive to it I think. This is because males are already familiar with what rejection is, whether they’ve ever experienced it or not, because society talks about it so much, to the point where males expect it to happen to them at some point.
But females are taught from an early age that they’re desirable just because they’re females, so they generally do expect to get attention from males in their lifetime, whether it be wanted or unwanted. And when it doesn’t happen they wonder why, and come up with stories or excuses. Often they have the mindset that as a female they should or can be able to have a guy they want when they want. This is partly an ingrained influence from society, but also a normal element of the female ego because they know that naturally guys show interest in women they like.
Some women who don’t get a lot of attention from guys - or any - like trying to claim that so many guys are always “hitting on them” based on every interaction they have with a male. They want it to seem like they’re a lot more desirable than they really are, so they play up their image. Though even women who have gotten regular attention from guys can do this because their egos have already been built up on it. Still though, most women who actually get a lot of compliments or attention from men generally do not have a need to brag about it and aren’t eager to tell it either.
The burn...
What’s funniest to me though is how women who do approach guys or express interest and he wasn’t interested back, try to come up with all kinds of reasons for why he turned her down other than the simple reason that he just wasn’t interested. Guys don’t do this when they get rejected. They simply know that he obviously wasn’t what a woman wanted. But women need to waste time trying to figure out the obvious when it happens to them. It almost always comes down to “they’re just shy and awkward” or “intimidated” by her.
Females need to explain it away like this to make themselves feel better about it, which couldn’t be a bigger sign of a lofty ego. They’re pretty much saying they think, or “know,” they’re attractive so if a guy isn’t interested in them it must be because of something else. It’s fearful to them to actually ponder that they really weren’t that attractive to him to begin with, or that something in her approach or body language was a total turn off. To assume that none of these could’ve played a part in her rejection is giving herself more credit than she probably even deserves.
“Educated” women…
Another curious thing to me is the way college-educated women with careers complain about getting rejected by men. Some of them go with the liberated flow of their status and feel empowered to try approaching guys, and it doesn’t work out for them. They will then complain how they don’t understand it because they’re “intelligent, have a degree, and a career,” and they too will try to say it must be because guys are intimidated by that.
Having a degree and career doesn’t equal dating success. A lot of modern women with both of those things seem to think it would make them more desirable to men. It doesn’t. Some guys pay attention to it, but most really could care less. I know for me, a woman’s college achievements and career don’t particularly impress me or indicate that she’s a valuable, worthy relationship partner. Those things say she had the smarts to graduate and start making money, but doesn’t say anything about her character as a woman or a person. It doesn’t tell me about her life smarts, her personal values, ethical outlooks, life strengths, or if she’s really made of anything. And honestly, for a woman to think her degree, background, and career should be sufficient in attracting a mate indicates that she either knows deep down that she’s shallow and doesn’t really have much character, or that she thinks that’s the way the world is supposed to work.
I've known many college-educated women who are friendly and nothing to dislike as a person, but they have little to no life sense and nothing to offer me in a relationship, which isn't uncommon. Career women want a man who can do everything in her dreams, but has nothing as a woman to offer a man in return.
A lot of these are also the same women complaining about there being no more "good men." It's like I say: the good men are with the good women. And they only say that as a manipulative way of implying that all other available men in the world aren't good so people will feel sorry for them and wipe their noses and say, "There, there, honey. It's not hopeless. They're out there." No man finds self-pity attractive.
Male preference…
Another major problem is that women often feel threatened by male preferences. I think this is one reason why a lot of women like trying to claim they know what guys want, because if they can make blanket assumptions it would make it easier for them to understand guys, instead of having to really face the reality of how guys do have their preferences in women, and even sex.
Male preferences are also often more criticized than women’s. If a guy likes younger women, it’s because he wants a trophy or because he’s a perv. If he likes older women (as I do), it’s just because he wants women he sees in MILF and cougar porn (neither of which I watch), or because it’s just about the sex with a woman he expects to have more experience. If he likes foreign women or women of other races, it always comes down to some kind of “Asian/Latina/white/black fetish.” If he prefers virgins, it’s because he’s “intimidated” by women who have sexual experience or more than he has. Or if he wants experienced women it’s because of what he sees in porn. If he likes “old-fashioned” women with traditional feminine values, it’s because he “wants someone to cook for him” or “can’t handle” today’s more empowered women, or wants women “he can control.” If he doesn’t want a career woman, it’s because he’s “intimidated” by them.
For sex: If he likes women with big boobs, it’s because he’s shallow and has a “breast fetish.” If he even likes small boobs, it’s because of another fetish. If he likes or wants anal sex, deepthroat, tight pussy, or some particular sex act, it’s again because he sees it in porn and has “unrealistic expectations of women in bed.”
Females come up with these labels for guys and their preferences to try making themselves feel better about it if she doesn’t fall into one of them. Male choice makes them more susceptible to rejection, and that makes women feel threatened. Women are allowed to have choices and preferences, and if she’s picky about what guy she wants and rejects men left and right, then it’s okay and men have to accept and respect that as "she likes what she likes," or are made to feel that as men they have to work on being the perfect guy that women want.
But when men are the ones with preferences and don’t go for the women society and the media says are Hip and In, then women become threatened, offended, and feel that he’s the problem, which is just a way of trying to manipulate men into accepting the types of women that are supposed to be desirable. Any time a guy has choices there has to be complaints about it and about how “degrading” men are to women. Sure, I’ve heard guys complaining about females’ “high expectations” in men, but people take it much more seriously when a woman is offended by male selection.
The reality of it...
Women want to be the choosers and not the chosen. This is why I do think rejection impacts them more. Male choice and preference is seen as threatening because it compromises women. Men are traditionally viewed as not being picky and are happy as long as women provide them with sex, thus he can’t complain. And it’s this idea that some women rely on so that they don’t have to worry about being something he prefers or not.
This is why it’s been easy to generalize about what men want, and is also associated with the popular thought process that men “aren’t in any position to choose”: men are made to think they have to “just take what they can get” because it’s women who are the ones with more to pick from in men who “are lining up at their door,” while men “don’t have as many options” because they face pickiness and rejection from women more often. Or so the theory has us think. In truth when men do have a preference and do the rejecting, that can be intimidating for women because it’s not what they count on, then men become “demanding” and having “ridiculous expectations.” So people have developed a way of trying to manipulate men into thinking they can’t be choosy so that they’ll really be more available for women, which can relieve them and make them think they as women are doing the choosing.
Guys have a right to what women they like or don't like, and it's a waste of time for women to try to go over it and figure it out. Simply accept that he just wasn't into you without any passive-aggressive calculations about it.
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