There’s NO Compatibility in Relationships: Understanding Female and Male Behavior

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So I’ve been meaning to write at least three different takes about relationships, and I have attempted to condense them in one or just two different ones, making it part 1 and part 2. But first of all, I’m not particularly a good writer. English is sort of my main language, but I don’t use it as much as I use other languages currently (because of where I live and because of work as well). And my second issue is that I tend to be very vague in what I write, and write too much but don’t say much at all. Usually, I find it easier to just talk and express myself like that than on writing because I tend to overthink things.

Luckily, I was having a conversation with a girl about relationships and a bunch of other stuff, and she said some things that made it easier for me to build a body to what I was writing about. The thing that really struck me the most was I put in the title: “I don’t need a man’s love to be happy, and I don’t need IT to prove anything”. So I used it as the title because I realized that was exactly where I was getting into.

There’s NO Compatibility in Relationships: Understanding Female and Male Behavior

So before getting into it, I think It’s very important to understand male and female behavior (in relationships). If we are going to discuss female/male sexual, or “romantic” interactions we have to consider the basis of it: Biology. We wouldn’t engage in natural selection or procreation if it wasn’t for such a primal thing.

Now, a lot of what I will say will probably irritate other people, to the point where I might sound as a misogynist. I don’t expect you to agree to everything I say, especially if you are a girl. And if you are a guy, I encourage you to go out and date women, and if given the chance, live with them to understand why or how they function.

Understanding Male Behavior

There’s NO Compatibility in Relationships: Understanding Female and Male Behavior

This one’s easy, males are looking for validation by females. I have repeated this over and over on this website and I have seen other guys mentioning it as well. Whether they read it from me or someone else, it doesn’t matter. But I think is really cool a lot of people are gaining awareness of it.

What men seek in any sort of relationships is validation of their masculinity. That’s why you still see guys getting in monogamous relationships with women, desiring or wanting love, and others seeking casual sex with women. The latter is also looking for validation, whether they aware of it or not. A man doesn’t go around bragging about all the girls he slept with because he had sex with them. No, you could pay a hooker for sex, and brag about it (I mean, you had sex after all didn’t you?), but what purpose would it serve if she just did it out of a business transaction? Men are looking for RECIPROCATION, and when many girls willingly open their legs for a man (who probably has many alpha traits), will make him feel validated. The key thing here is reciprocation, and willingness from these girls to either have sex with them, or in the case of other guys be in a relationship with them.

Men are looking for love, and romance. Romance being lust, and passionate love. Men are givers of this, and they expect women to reciprocate said lust for them, and said love. It’s almost embarrassing to admit men actually want love from women, and it certainly makes us happy. The healthy average male is happy by having a woman that loves them (or superficially seems to do so), and validates their masculinity by having sex with them, and being there for them when they need it.

Another important aspect of male biology, is that (and this surprises many women) men are fully capable of engaging in parallel relationships. I’m not talking about having multiple sex partners, or having open relationships. Parallel relationships mean a man can be in separate, SIMULTANEOUS, relationships with two or three different women and care, and love them all the same. Men are not designed to be in monogamous relationships. Monogamous relationships and marriage are gynocentrist things, and in all these relationships women are the ones in charge (you’ll notice it if you are perceptive enough). Men, just as other animals in the kingdom, are deigned to spread their seeds, and protect their females. This is what our basic biology is. Not surprisingly, many men have been busted having a separate life/marriage outside of their other marriages. This baffles women, but that’s why men cheat in parallels.

Note I’m not justifying cheating, any man that agrees to a committed monogamous relationship already puts himself in another position. No one is obligating men to marry, or to commit to other women. That is each individual choice, and it doesn’t mean we can’t suppress our biology to an extent. But is a very hard thing to accomplish, and many men refuse to do so by the lack of honest, and decent females available for them. Men simply don’t trust women when it comes to relationships, but that’s for another topic, a different time.

Understanding Female Behavior

There’s NO Compatibility in Relationships: Understanding Female and Male Behavior

Women biology is different. Remember girls function under a biological clock. They don’t necessarily stop being fertile after their 40’s, but we all know the dangers women have to procreate after that time. If you haven’t heard about women “hitting the wall”, google it. Basically, a female’s prerogative (in biology) is procreation and taking care of her offspring. That’s what a female direction usually is, even though some women claim they aren’t interested in having kids, which happens as well.

Many women actually enjoy sex, don’t get me wrong (it’s not all about procreation). But mostly, women are very underdeveloped sexually. Some women have been with a man that was able to get them sexually addicted to him, but most women walk through life not seeing men in a sexual light. Granted, a lot of girls don’t even feel passionate, or ever feel lust for their boyfriends. Many women have boyfriends they don’t even find physically attractive. Physical attractiveness may serve a woman for a one-night stand, but nothing more. Not for a long term relationship. There are many other things they deem as much more important than anything regarding sexuality.

A woman will not be with you if she isn’t gaining something out of you, period. It doesn’t have to be necessarily money, or financial utility. But for a woman to commit to a guy she needs SECURITY. This is a very, very fundamental thing for a woman. If her partner doesn’t make her feel safe, then it’s a problem. Stability, and directionality are things women look for in men. Men are the vehicle to take a woman wherever she wants to go. If you don’t offer her directionality, she won’t stay with you because women know EXACTLY where they want to go and they chose their partners accordingly. Being attractive, and being fun to be with simply isn’t enough to make a woman stay, contrary to a man. Men are checklists to women, and the moment those checks dissipate or she changed her priorities, while you remain the same, you will be no longer needed.

Unlike men, women cheat in cycles. Women cheat and then dump their boyfriends. A woman will not dump her boyfriend until she knows she won the other guy. They drop a deal for a better one. A healthy woman does not cheat in parallels. They aren’t interested in being with multiple guys and having sex with all of them, nor she has time or cares to be there for multiple men. And hardly, women look back to their past relationships. What they do is press restart and repeat the process, unless an ex she considers valuable was the one dumping her for whatever reason(s).

There’s NO Compatibility in Relationships: Understanding Female and Male Behavior

Understanding these two things brings me to my point:

“I don’t need a man’s love to be happy, and I don’t need it to prove anything.”

That’s the kicker, and this came from a woman who has a boyfriend.

You may call me a misogynist, but I’m not. I think the average healthy female is just like anyone else making a living. They want to do good to society just like a healthy person would. And I happen to know many female scholars (mostly in medicine), that I personally admire. There are very grounded female professionals and good women out there. I’m far from ever thinking women just go around doing evil, because only repressed, and resented guys do that. The key thing is to understand why women do the things they do when it comes to relationships, and hopefully, for women to ever show interest in knowing what men do and the reasons why. That way people can start building better relationships.

Its clear women aren’t looking for romance. They have their romantic novels and their chick flicks to fulfill that fantasy, but they don’t actually feel it. Most men, if not all, will agree that if there is no strong lust from each party, then what is a relationship for? Lust and passion should the foundation of every relationship. But how could that ever happen if women do not see this as important as they see other things in men that would serve them more. Men and women go in opposite directions, and that’s the biggest problem about relationships. There’s absolutely no congruence in what men want, and what women want.

Women may love their families, and their offspring with sincere honest love. But if girls don’t need a man’s love to be happy, just as long as she’s getting emotional security FROM their man, or financial stability, and they do not need to prove anything with a man loving them, then what is the point of being in a relationship? The answer lies, once again, in biology. Women are not looking for the opportunity to love, but men are. Women either want security for themselves or their future offspring, but they don’t feel love the same way as men do. And a bigger question is if women ever feel romantic love in the first place.

If women see themselves from a man’s point of view, they’ll realize what gift they have. So instead of getting involved in relationships with men you don’t truly desire, to settle, try to be with men who awake passion in you. A man can look at you and want to protect you for just the way you look, and if you reciprocate that, with personality and with lust, while being completely honest and transparent to him, you’ll build a much better foundation for a relationship.

There’s NO Compatibility in Relationships: Understanding Female and Male Behavior

The final point is, if a man will give up his instinctive desire to engage with multiple women, girls should give up their self-centric desire to look for security. The moment women give in to lust and stop considering their directionality, we would be having happier relationships by taking chances. is what those romantic movies/books are all about, right?

Problem is: Women do not need validation from men, as men do. Love validates a man, but it doesn’t validate a woman, and that's where the lack of compatibility really is.

There’s NO Compatibility in Relationships: Understanding Female and Male Behavior
17 Opinion