"There's an ass for every seat."
I remember hearing this from a friend of my father's when I was very little. We were in a garage at the time and of course, such a setting is conducive to certain types of male discussion. In this instance, my father and his friend were talking about an upcoming wedding of another friend, and both were obviously shocked. They just never believed this other guy would find someone. But the surprise and debate came to an end with the above statement. Both just shrugged and laughed and that was it.
Now, he wasn't talking about that perfect, singular someone. He wasn't endorsing the idea of a single soulmate; i.e., the idea that there is only one individual out there for each of us. He was simply saying that everyone can find love and despite the simplicity and slight vulgarity of that statement, it was, at its core, very positive and uplifting. The translation could be- "Nobody has to be alone."
However, it got me thinking. Being inundated with a variety of idealistic child entertainment (with Disney leading the way, of course), I'd already been exposed to the idea of a "perfect coupling," so-to-speak. As time passed, I often thought about the very large gulf between "anybody can find someone that fits them" and "there's but one perfect soul for each of us." One is encouraging while the other is just plain depressing. There are what, 6 billion people in the world? What if my soulmate lived ten thousand miles away in some random village I'd never see? How does that work? Realistically, what would be the chances that anyone would meet their exact perfect match? Isn't that a 1 in a 6 billion shot? Or, if we split them up into males and females, 1 in 3 billion, or something like that?
It's just ridiculous. All these happy couples exist and despite the demoralizing statistics, there are millions of marriages and committed relationships that span the majority of life, and each person involved dies quite content. If you ask them, they'll say they can't imagine being with someone else. And yet, very often, their partner wasn't far away. They lived one town over, worked in the same building, were friends of friends, etc. Even if they were born a few states away, that's not an especially long distance in the larger scheme of things. There's zero chance that so many "one and only" matching souls could be born that closely together. Mathematically impossible.
Hence, the theory falls apart. While it's certainly plausible that there is indeed "an ass for every seat," it's absurd to believe in this "one soulmate" business.
And yet...
Is it not magical? And to follow with a more important question:
Are we even allowed to believe in magic anymore?
In a world dominated by science and facts, where religion is more often maligned than supported, where simple faith in something beyond us is met with derision and mockery, magic feels beyond our grasp. I'm not a religious person; I do believe in a higher power of some kind, but I also believe that whatever it is, no human can hope to understand it while alive. We can't know its name nor can we comprehend its intentions, true nature, scope of power, etc. Much like the classic Stoicism school of thought, I believe in the basic concept of Providence, and that life is but a blip on the radar in the universe, and to obsess about either the power above or our own deaths is a waste of time. For we have so little of it.
Forgive me, but as I age, I want to believe in something magical. You may call it an inability to accept reality if you wish, but I believe any reality without a whiff of the magical is too miserable to endure. If we're incapable of believing in magic, if we really think anything and everything is entirely contingent upon our admittedly feeble mental and physical capabilities, we're destined to be unhappy and endlessly frustrated. I accept the limitations of humanity while embracing all of which humanity is capable. The human spirit really is indomitable and we can still grow and improve.
Yet magic, if it exists, can't be anything we can prove. It's outside the realm of numbers. Science can't touch it. Nothing can. What do we know of consciousness, of the soul? Really? Who's to say two specific consciousnesses aren't perfectly suited for each other? And who's to say these two souls aren't attracted to each other, even across vast differences? What if the powers that be - you can use Fate, Providence, Destiny, whatever - silently work to bring these souls together? A few strings pulled and that one "impossibly" perfect soulmate born in Mongolia somehow manages to find his or her other half in Peru.
Don't tell me that can't happen. Don't tell me it would be entirely coincidence. As we get older, we start to wonder if the hundreds, if not thousands, of "coincidences" we see in our lives aren't all merely coincidences. If we revert to the logic path for a moment, is it reasonable or rational to assume that every coincidence is simply luck? If it's all chaos and there is no direction or plan or power beyond us, I'm not sure the world would work as it does...
The point is, logic and science must be acknowledged and accepted as foundations and forms of progress. At the same time, when it comes to the endlessly confusing and complex issues of consciousness, the soul, and love, and exactly how humans are drawn to one another, we're neophytes. We're just completely clueless. We're guessing; we're flailing about in the darkness. And while we're doing the best we can, perhaps there are times when we must cast our eyes to the heavens and wonder. That's precisely when the possibility of magic becomes real.
And the person, the one person, you were always meant to be with might feel it at the exact same moment. Who are you to shake your head and say it's impossible?
Most Helpful Opinions