So a few months ago I started talking to a girl, let's call her Girl A, who I met on an app which isn't really meant for dating. Kind of like gag, memecenter, 9gag, etc... She lives in Hong Kong and I'm in the UK. Eventually we liked each other enough to decide to start a long distance relationship (LDR), without ever having met. Unfortunately, we couldn't meet for a while due to costs and also due to the fact that I am in the middle of my final year project and quite busy.
A few months in, we had some problems and fought from time to time and about a month ago, we broke up, and it wasn't too pretty. I was angry, but also kind of sad and regretful, so one of the first things I did was to install a dating app on my phone. It was a way to stop thinking about her, but also to experience what I was missing in a LDR - physical contact (And I don't mean sex, just any at all, as I can't go without skinship). I started talking to another girl, let's call her Girl B. We talked quite a lot, every day, but I couldn't shake up the sad feeling from braking up with Girl A, so I messaged her again and after talking about what we will need to change, we started a long distance relationship again. It worked well for a while, better than before after the changes we made. But the problem is that I already started having some feelings for Girl B, so I couldn't stop talking to her. This is when my indecisiveness came into play - I couldn't figure out my own feelings, who and what I wanted and who I had stronger feelings for. I kept delaying sorting out my feelings until eventually I stupidly decided to ask Girl B to be my girlfriend too, without first sorting out my relationship with Girl A, so I ended up being in an LDR with Girl A, whom I had never even met in real life, while at the same time being in a relationship with Girl B. This was only a few weeks ago. We held hands and kissed, but never did anything more, partly because of my guilt, partly because of other circumstances.
A few days ago, Girl A and I decided to meet in April and she was going come to the UK. I had hoped this would be the time I can sort out my feelings, after at least meeting her once as I felt I would regret committing fully to a person I hadn't even met. But before we could meet, she saw that I had followed Girl B on instagram - it's something I very rarely use (instagram) and didn't realize Girl A even knew my account, but I guess instagram suggests people by their phone numbers, so she found it. She was curious who Girl B is, but I explained she was a friend and we ended that conversation. About an hour or two later, Girl A suddenly texts me saying she knows everything and showing me a picture of me holding Girl B's hand (my face was not in the picture, but that picture was not on instagram, so the only way she could get it if they are both in contact / chatting). My heart sank, I was shaking, barely realizing what just happened. Not saying I don't deserve it, but it's a feeling I don't wish for anyone to ever have. I assume Girl A didn't believe me Girl B was just a friend and decided to add her on instagram and chat with her. After a long chat with Girl A and after reaching the conclusion that I like Girl B more, Girl A broke up with me, as you would expect. I still haven't had a decent chat with Girl B, but she's reluctant to even chat, so you can probably guess where this is going too.
Bottom line? Even though I knew and even agreed that cheating is horrible, I ended up doing it myself, because of my indecisivness and stupidity, which left me much more devastated than simply making a choise (even if it were the wrong one) would have. I don't think this myTake will make people who cheat just for the sex to stop cheating, but hopefully those of you who would do it for similar reasons to me, will reconsider, realize what a mistake it is and make up your minds before it's too late. I ended up hurting two amazing girls and is probably the thing I will regret the most in my life. I haven't cried in many years, not since I lost my grandpa as a child, but today I just couldn't hold it in. I suppose I learned a lesson the hard way and not only at my expense, but someone elses too. So if you're like me, just man up and figure out your feelings, for your own good, as well as others'
P.S. Go on then, let's hear from everybody who will cheer and be happy that I feel like shit. I too would agree with you, if I were in your position.
P.P.S Gag wants me to add an image in order to post, so that explains the useless image...
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