Red Flags Guys Need To Watch Out For When Dating A New Girl

Anonymous

Red Flags Guys Need To Watch Out For When Dating A New Girl

So you managed to work up the courage to talk to that cute girl, get her number, and got your text game on. Now one week in you're letting the story begin and you're going out on your first date. You've sat down at your table, the conversation is going well when all of a sudden... uh oh, a little red flag pops up in your head. Well, let me tell you that red flag is popping up for a reason.

1. She talks about her ex boyfriends a lot

It's a fact of life, once you reach young adulthood most if not all people will have exes or other past relationships. At some point yes you do need to talk about your past relationships, but that's a topic for another post. I don't think there's a specific time limit necessarily on when you should, but the beginning of a new relationship is not the time to do so.

Despite the above, there are a fair few girls I've dated who seem to talk about their exes a lot. I went out with one girl for 3 months and she would talk about a different ex at least once every time we were together. I can tell you that none of those relationships ended well.

It's one thing to make your current partner aware of your past relationships because let's face it, your past experiences define you to a certain degree. I do believe that there's a point where you have to draw the line. If she's telling you a story she fondly remembers where her ex happens to be present, it's a very good sign she might not be over her ex.

If she's still in regular contact with her ex(es) or worse yet, still very close friends with one of her exes, get the hell out of there fast! There's a very good chance she'll ditch you to get back with her ex.

2. She wants to know details about your exes

Goes hand in hand with point number 1, she asks you about your exes. You don't feel comfortable but she insists to know details about your past relationships. When was your last relationship? How long did you date for? What was her name? Was she hotter?

3. She just got out of a relationship

Last one about exes I swear! Your mileage may vary with this one, but if she just got out of a relationship recently then odds are you;re a rebound (but if that's what you want I'm not judging). This doesn't necessarily mean she's a bad person, it just means it's not right time to date her.

4. She constantly needs "rescuing" from other guys/has a hard time saying no

You're out with her at a party, bar, club, or some other highly social venue. You leave her to her own devices for a few minutes then when you return there's another guy chatting her up. Okay, not the end of the world here, you simply walk up to them both to see what's up. As soon as you get nearby them she tells the other guy she has to leave, and it was nice meeting him.

As soon as you're out of earshot she thanks you for "rescuing" her from that guy. She was worried he was going to ask for her number, and she didn't want to be "mean" because she has a hard time saying no, but since you came along she was thankfully spared the trouble.

It's the 21st century, women should know how to say no. Unless she's being assaulted or molested by the guy then she should not need any "rescuing" from him. If a girl has a hard time saying no, how do you know she doesn't have a hard time saying no to you? Or even worse, if a guy she actually finds charming comes along, would she be able to say no to him if you're not there to stop her?

(Yes, this one is based on a true story)

5. She wants to text/call a lot, but is wishy washy about meeting up

Also based on a personal experience. She's perfectly fine with having long chats over text, but the second you ask if she's free to hang out she all of a sudden breaks out the excuses. I don't really need to elaborate too much but if she likes you she should be making time to meet you in person. Chances are she sees you as more of a texting buddy than a potential partner here.

I dated a girl who actually complained that the only time I texted was to talk about meeting up (which is what in my opinion texting should be used for in the first place).

6. She's never at fault for anything

Whenever she does something you don't like, she always has to find an excuse or better yet, finds a way to make it your fault because it was something you did that caused her to act that way. No matter what she always tries to absolve herself from any wrongdoing. If this is the case then you're dealing with an immature person who can't take responsibility for their own actions.

7. She doesn't like your friends

Not everybody is going to get along with everybody, but if she hates your friends and constantly complains about them then it's a very good sign that she's not a good fit for you. Remember, your friends came first and they're the ones you'll likely be counting on to be there for you when things don't work out.

8. Her friends don't like you

Again, you can never really expect everyone to like you. If the majority of her friend circles (especially her closest friends) don't seem to like you then take warning. People talk, and her friends are most definitely talking smack about you behind your back. You can expect drama to follow, and if it comes to war then her friends will win.

9. She gets jealous whenever you talk to other girls

I personally have many platonic female friends who I am happy to have be part of my life and dating someone isn't going to change that. It's natural to feel a little jealous, but if she's constantly on your case about being somewhere other girls are present if she's not there then odds are she has some serious trust issues and problems with insecurity.

10. She gets annoyed by even the littlest things you do

Maybe you took too long to text her back, she doesn't like the way you breathe, she doesn't like the way you talk when you pet your dog, the list goes on. Do I really need to explain why this is a red flag?

11. She never pays for anything, or never even offers to do so

I personally don't mind footing the bill for the first couple of dates, but I do personally find it polite that the woman at least offers to go dutch (and actually be willing to follow through). If you start to notice a pattern where she's not paying for anything, then you might just be a meal ticket for her.

12. She has expensive taste

Hand in hand with point 11, if she orders the most expensive thing on the menu and doesn't offer to pay then to me that just screams gold digger.

13. She shows up late for dates

As a general rule when I schedule a time and a place for a date, my expectation is she'll be there on time. I generally tolerate it if she's about 5-10 minutes late, but anything longer than that there better be a damn good explanation.

If she's showing up unreasonably late on a regular basis then chances are she doesn't take you or your time very seriously.

14. She doesn't want to get physical

Everybody moves at their own pace and I understand that some people have traumatic experience in their past. However, at the end of the day one of the main things that separates a lover from a friend is physical intimacy.

Everybody's different and there's no right or wrong timeframe to get physically intimate but if it's clear that she doesn't want to get physical then there's a problem, especially if you want physical intimacy. Maybe she'd prefer to get physical with someone who isn't you. Maybe she's just using you for the sake of having a guy at her side. Either way its a huge sign that things won't work out.

----------------------------------------------------------

And there you have it. This list doesn't necessarily just apply to guys dating girls, many of the items listed above also apply to girls dating guys. However, since I'm a guy with experience dating girls only, I'm drawing from my experiences.

Also, its my belief that to some extent that pretty much everyone will set off at least 1-2 red flags while dating. We're all human, we're not perfect, we make mistakes. Don't let a minor red flag ruin your chances at a dating life. But at the same time don't ignore them either, especially if they start adding up or don't go away.

Red Flags Guys Need To Watch Out For When Dating A New Girl
30 Opinion