It's, perhaps, easier for a guy who isn't good with girls or a girl who's never received any attention from guys to be in a relationship because they don't feel they could stray even if they wanted to. Furthermore, the dating game, while painful to some, is very fun and exciting to others. You get to roll the dice and potentially meet an incredible person and have an incredible connection every time you go on a date with someone new. You get to have the sensation of discovery every time you have sex with someone new. You learn valuable insights, cultural differences, new perspectives all while having great sex! And, it's pretty much emotion and drama free!
And yet, we are community creatures deep down inside. We crave to love and to be loved to work together and to live together. Why we have strayed is less important than how we have forgotten this core principle of our natures. And for this, we have ten reasons why you shouldn't value you your freedom over love.
First, accept that the chase is 90% of the time better than the catch
Realize that you love to hunt, but you rarely find something to good to eat (that means two things.) And, even when you find it, you realize just like a new job with more money or a bunch of presents or whatever else--its a fleeting feeling of joy and eventually you go back to normal. Its an illusion a lot of the time. Accept that while circumstances change you never really do and so this idea that you will because you meet someone new is kind of wishful thinking...
Second, the joy of being with someone you've bonded with outweighs casual acquaintances every time
We all remember being kids begging our parents to let us do something fun with our friends. It was even more important if we have a close group of friends that we spent enormous amounts of time with. This is x10 for a relationship and so really even a celebrity can't compare in terms of the endorphins that are realized when you get to spend time with someone you're in a relationship with
Third, you get the chance to rewrite your life story
What happened in the past isn't happening now but it sure still hurts a hell of a lot. This is why we remember and fear it happening again so much so that we make sure it happens again just to get over the fear that it might happen. Yet, with a relationship you actually get the chance to do it however you want. Want to be the opposite of your parents relationship you can! want to be with someone completely different from anyone youve been with you can. IT goes on and on but the point is you get to decide and be the couple you want to be.
Fourth, you learn so much about yourself
Reflecting on your own is a great thing, but intimacy tests even the most self loving person to confronts the dark repressed things about themselves they'd rather not think about. in order to have someone see you completely you have to see yourself. Yet, this process can't be replicated alone...
Fifth, you learn how to support
You learn that giving advice isn't really support. Support is being there when they really really need you and just listening. support means being a constant in their life so you're not making things even more complicated. Support is all about empathy it's not about teaching...
Sixth, sex gets incredible
a lot of people take sex being incredible the first time as a sign of great chemitsry and that you should be together. This couldnt' be more false. I have had incredible sex with some girls but hated their personalities and i have had awk sex with some girls that i couldn't stop thinking about because they felt like the one. Seldom does this seem to happen in the same person that you have great personality chemistry and sex chemistry right off the bat often because its hard to be both emotional and sexual at the same time with someone you don't know very well.the good news is in a relationship you have time to figure things out including how to put someone on a pedestal but also take them off when it comes to the dirtiness of love...
Seventh, like a best friend, a lover will be willing to go on all kinds of adventures with you
If you like to adventure you know it can sometimes be fun just to do it on your own. yet, having someone you trust and love with you can be even better because you get to both enjoy and bond all at once. When you're in a relationship you realize that no one is "easy" to be with for huge amounts of hours no matter who you are and the fact that you've found someone that can handle you and that you actually like is incredibly incredibly rare.
Eighth, you've got someone to hold you accountable
a big reason people don't work hard when it comes to the little things like going to the gym or writing that novel or even putting in extra time at work to make more money is because you're lazy and you don't have to judge that part of yourself if you don't want to. Yet, when someone is that close to you they will inevitably say something about it and you will be forced to at least be held accoutable for it...
Ninth, you've got someone who always cares
When you feel down on yourself the worst feeling is that everyone else is down on you to. yet, you can never really convince yourself that the person you're with is down on you because why would they have been with you all this time? just a little text from them can change your day even years in...
Tenth, you deserve it
This is potentially a really hard one to hear. The deep down truth of why, in my opinion, a lot of people fear relationships is because it's hard to come to terms with the fact that you actually deserve to be loved this much...that you deserve a happiness that blows up in so many other peoples faces. I'd offer this quote given from one brother to another who's considering cheating on his girlfriend of many years:
“throughout your life, there’s going to be a lot of opportunities that come up and they’re going to seem great and they’re going to seem wonderful and they’re going to seem like they make your life a heck of a lot easier, but you have to walk away and at times it’s going to be really difficult to do that, but you have to because you deserve better.”
This is ultimately the only reason to be in a relationship. You deserve love. You don't deserve loneliness and pain. You deserve to have someone look at you like you're the greatest thing in the world. You deserve to be happy.
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