Note: I don't really believe in the friendzone. This is simply me reminiscing my past as a "nice guy" and what I learned from not being upfront.
Chapter 1: Mr. Nice Guy
I) Touching while calling you buddy
She had this annoying habit of touching me in comfort zones while making a smiling face. I'd think she liked me, but actually she was just a touchy-feely kinda person. I'd have to remove my head from the gutter every time she touched my thigh :/
II) Learning intimate details about members of boy bands
She's a huge fan of KPOP. She knows too much about KPOP boy bands. She'd love showing me pictures of them hugging, shirtless and kissing -_- She'd even insist I watched several of their music videos. Needless to say, I learned much more about KPOP than I ever cared for.
III) Learning the dance of boy/girl bands
After reading #2, you're aware she likes KPOP. I invited her to my house for a hangout during lunch and she insisted we go to YouTube. She loaded up a dance routine video of a band and kinda playfully insisted that I perform it with her. There was no slow dancing, it was lots of rapid leg movements and I kinda tore my hamstring. When she laughed and picked me up from my banana split, I thought we were having a moment and a potential kiss, but she just said "get ready for the next routine".
IV) Watching p*rn together
She loved watching gay Asian p*rn , had a massive fetish for it. I, on the other hand, did not like gay Asian p*rn ; but I had a crush on her so.... there's always a first for everything. She sent me a link to a p*rn vid and would question me about what I thought of so and so position and if they used enough oil...
Chapter 2: The Confession
V) Watcha Gonna Do
1 year has passed since our friendship began. I was her best friend, her very best friend; the go-to guy for emotional distress, laughter, and homework help. She was having trouble with her LD bf who barely contacted her. We were texting and she was down. I cracked a few jokes, subtly dissed her bf for not being the best to her and she was back happy. Then she said the words: 'I wish he was more like you'. She apparently still had no idea I had a crush on her, she thought I was the best genuine friend ever.
VI) The L Word
Caught cold blooded in my feelings, I admitted my crush.
She rejected me,but insisted I remained her best friend.
VII) The man behind the mask
I was never interested in sex with her, it was more of distant back thought. I found her attractive and enjoyed her personality, so I developed a crush. And that crush made me not act like myself.
She never found out that I was faking interest in the korean boy bands or the gay p*rn . I'm still the best friend, except now she limits the personal topics.
VIII) Friendzonia
Two years have passed and I'm still her best friend. She occasionally brings up the day I asked her out and we laugh about it while a bit of my soul cries.
I'm not upset she rejected me. I'm upset that I faked so much of myself for someone who would never date me. I love her dearly as a friend, but I cannot unsee what I've seen...
IX) Django Unchained
I've since learned that being a nice guy gets you nowhere. Kindness is an expected social behavior. I've learned that faking interests in things she likes is beneficial to neither of us, it feeds her ego while giving me extra chores.
I now try not to get too close too fast to the first girl who shows me interest.
For you nice guys out there, I hope y'all learned something or hopefully had a laugh from my experience.
Don't be fake. Be yourself. And have confidence. She may or may not reject you and if she does, don't hate her; she has no duty to date you for being nice to her.
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