The loss of love. A love that was never mine.

Anonymous

So just now I realise the loss.Although I could feel he had left a long time now.I've just been lying to myself,saying :"No this isn't yet to end.This can't be the end.Life will bring us together."


Yet, now is indeed the end. But how? Why?Why does it hurt so much, to lose someone I've only seen two times in my life?Yes, we've been talking a lot. I learned every side of him. He discovered and made at the same time all of me. Yeah he did. He created me. He made me who I am. But I can't say that now, can I? I can't live with the past, can I?


The loss of love. A love that was never mine.



I guess he was just a figure. I suppose it's time to face it and tell myself the truth. I knew it was going to come.Hoping for it not to, didn't change things. Me ignoring it was near, didn't change things. So now that I feel the loss.Now that I heard it from him. I know. It's time to let him go. But I can't. I don't want to. He is me. He is part of me. How can I tear up a part of me and just let it be eaten by the past... I can't do that. I want all the memories, all the talks, all the laughs and the silent screams. I want all of them to stay forever with me.


I'm scared, that years will pass by and I will forget. I'm scared I will get forgotten.He will continue leaving his life and I will stay hidden with all his forgotten memories.The girl he always wanted, always loved but never touched,never had.


Maybe it was all just a fantasy. Maybe it was all just a dream. I hope I can wake up and forget about him. But I don't want to. I can't... I'm not me without him.So what will happen to me?


So now I feel the loss.The loss of my love. The loss of a person I never expected to fall in love with.It was all just a game, right?But I did. And now it hurts. Silly me...

The loss of love. A love that was never mine.
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