So just now I realise the loss.Although I could feel he had left a long time now.I've just been lying to myself,saying :"No this isn't yet to end.This can't be the end.Life will bring us together."
Yet, now is indeed the end. But how? Why?Why does it hurt so much, to lose someone I've only seen two times in my life?Yes, we've been talking a lot. I learned every side of him. He discovered and made at the same time all of me. Yeah he did. He created me. He made me who I am. But I can't say that now, can I? I can't live with the past, can I?
I guess he was just a figure. I suppose it's time to face it and tell myself the truth. I knew it was going to come.Hoping for it not to, didn't change things. Me ignoring it was near, didn't change things. So now that I feel the loss.Now that I heard it from him. I know. It's time to let him go. But I can't. I don't want to. He is me. He is part of me. How can I tear up a part of me and just let it be eaten by the past... I can't do that. I want all the memories, all the talks, all the laughs and the silent screams. I want all of them to stay forever with me.
I'm scared, that years will pass by and I will forget. I'm scared I will get forgotten.He will continue leaving his life and I will stay hidden with all his forgotten memories.The girl he always wanted, always loved but never touched,never had.
Maybe it was all just a fantasy. Maybe it was all just a dream. I hope I can wake up and forget about him. But I don't want to. I can't... I'm not me without him.So what will happen to me?
So now I feel the loss.The loss of my love. The loss of a person I never expected to fall in love with.It was all just a game, right?But I did. And now it hurts. Silly me...
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I have been in a situation like yours before. It was distance and other life circumstances that kept us apart. I would close my eyes and i could imagine us laying in the yard and staring at the night sky, or holding her close and watching the rain hitting the windows, at times, I would even feel like she was right there next to me.
But.. This was my fight. I never had any intentions of telling her how I felt. It would jeopardize my situation at home if I pursued it. So no one else was to be on my battle field but me.
In the concept of love, Love is about committment and it is about staying on course with the one you love no matter what temptations come along, even if in my case, it was another woman. I ended up unfriending her on Facebook as things sort of fell apart with our friendship. I avoided her and she wound up cussing me out because of it and I ended it. To me, Doing the right thing is a must. I had to win. My family had to win.
So with the passing of time, Those thoughts and feelings seem to be slowly disappearing. It will take some time. You might focus on some other things you like doing to put your thoughts elsewhere.
Here is an update on the one I "liked". All emotion for that individual, I have chosen to allow to die. I understand that when you see someone, and like them, That emotions can take a mind of their own. I tried to make her understand that I did not wish to lead her on, as I know that with me being married and all, The last thing I wanted to do was to give her false hope. Well, Here is the deal. When I see this individual, at every turn wish for Karma to destroy me, Te question needs to be asked. What is the worth of that friendship? Well, Seeing that she made attempts to compare herself to my wife, and with making the choice to tell me to fuck off, and also still wishing for Karma to destroy me. My thought is the friendship had no value. My advice to her is to look at what she REALLY wants. It's not going to be someone who is already attached as I hate all liars, and cheaters, and I refuse to become either. I will simply state that I have had enough and I am done.
Mm I see... Well your situation was more
fucked up because you are married. But apart from that all the stuff you said on your first comment, is exactly him... Well anyway, now it's all over. It's been months since I wrote that take and now my feelings have all been gone...
Same story here. Now that the haze has lifted and I have begun to see the real character of the person, It has become easier to write her off. Emotions can do some strange shit for sure. You just don't kick someone in the teeth for remaining true, and that's just the bottom line. I understand liking something you see and the emotion that comes with it. But in the mind, When your mind tells you that what your emotions are going to lead you into is wrong, Listen to it. I am ever so glad I did.
Lol. Yes, sir!!!
So you're talking about almost getting that guy who seemed like the one right? I was in a similar situation... it seemed like we were perfect for each other but way too a like, both too stubborn, both too unwilling to tell the other we cared. So we both let the moment go by and let all of our encounters turn into nothing... Until one day I realized i couldn't handle it anymore, and that i didn't want him.. I wanted the idea of him. I realized that had we ended up together it would have never worked... we were too alike and yet too different and to this day I wonder could he have been the one. And it's a confusion that only I will really understand.
Yeah... But my situation wasn't like that. I never almost had him. I could never have him as in mind and body. We fell for each other but could never be together cause of distance. And now it was the time that this couldn't go on anymore and it ended. Well it hurts sooo much and really I'm not even that type of person that hurts through relatiosionships. I guess I really loved him...
Nice text. I kinda feel similar but not really. I never had this situation with a real girl but something else I would like to come in to reality. (Dreams x)
So you fell in love with a girl in a dream of yours? Or you saw a dream with a similar story and you wish it was real?
More like I was kind of 'living in my own little world' but I know that's unreal.
Yeah... I see. It jurts anyways. αστα να πανε...
*hurts