Why are guys so scared of those words "I love you"?

Why are guys avoiding it, or if they say it back, it doesn't sound sincere?


Most Helpful Guy

  • To a lot of guys, saying I love you is a big thing. Why?

    I've had girls tell me they loved me within a few weeks.

    I had one woman say she loved me after two weeks; I was the only man for her. It was way too fast. I told her that. A few weeks later, we broke up over something else. And by a week later, she tells another guy, and "admits" to him that she has always loved him, and that "he's always been the only man for her. " She was using this as a manipulation tactic.

    Some girls will say it, and not care. It's virtually meaningless to a lot of girls. "I love you" means "I think you're great at this specific moment at this specific time, but if you do something I don't like, then I'm going to hate you forever. " To a guy, if a woman says one thing, then does another, a lot of guys consider her to be dishonest. To some woman, that's "changing her mind, and that's her prerogative. " And it's perfectly acceptable.

    If a guy says it, then breaks up with the girls a month later, he's a real dirt bag. He's also a liar. Most of us well adjusted guys don't like being seen as the dirt bag. Especially when it's not true. It's a double standard on the guys.

    We have to make sure we honestly feel it. We don't like guys who say "I love you" then cheat the next day. That is dishonorable and cruel. So we want to make sure we're feeling it, and we'll be honest. Unless we're "players" we don't like it when a man does that any more than you ladies do.

    And we all know there's a period of about 3 months, where everyone is showing your very best sides. At 3 months, we don't know how genuine you're being with us. We think you're great, but it could be because you're on your best behavior like we are.

    Then again, some of us are cautious because we've learned from experience that saying it

    and feeling it too early can seriously hurt us.

    We have to almost feel like we're going at it logically, cause some women will use it against us. "if you really loved me, you'd. " Some people, guys and girls, will use it as a manipulation tactic. So, a lot of us are cautious about the whole thing. We don't want to get burned.

    Saying it FIRST is a real sign of weakness to some men. We already put ourselves out to be vulnerable when we ask you out. So, understandably, some of us are cautious about saying it too early, or first, because you can reject us in a heartbeat very easily. Our guy friends ridicule us if we say it in front of them. We get ridiculed, especially if it's too early.

    And some of us are taught that showing any emotion, other than joy or anger, is a weakness.

    To me, SHOWING it as well as SAYING it is important. But I think the guy should wait until at least 5 months into the relationship to say it. If he's not feeling it, he shouldn't stay in the relationship. But that's just me.

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      Thanks. I've had a guy tell me after 3 dates he loves me. But your advice makes a lot of sense.

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      I completely agree with Dave and would like to add; saying "I love you," for me is more of an overall condition, rather than how I'm feeling towards someone at that point and time. Saying "I love you" means that I am sure and am confident in saying that.