Does he really mean what he says when we argue? Do I overreact too much? Does what I say sometimes actually upset him? HELP?

[lavitadia]

So my boyfriend and I have been dating for about a year now and we live together. When we are good we are GOOOOOD I mean absolutely in love happy laughing doing amazing things making memories and our friends are inspired by our love for each other. I mean he is really a great guy but there are some issues.. probably mostly with me..

I am insecure.. like out of this world insecure and no matter how much he tells me he thinks im beautiful he loves my body he loves me and everything about me I don't believe him.. and even getting hit on by strangers all my life and being asked out randomly and being told multiple times im the best looking of all my friends when we go out has ever given me confidence. And my last relationship, BAD BAD BAD. So I have trust issues too. Usually we argue over social media, or when some type of "scenario" pops into my head and I make myself believe its actually happening. So I get mad and I confront him. The first couple times he was very concerned that I thought things that weren't true or bad about him... now he just gets mad immediately and shuts down.

This morning we got into it bad. Over instagram.. of course. I had a dream he deleted all of our pictures together. So I went to go look and accidently unfollowed him because I was still half asleep and rushing to see if it was true. when I told him about it he went off. He said that he was done with me, I play too many games, I over-react over the littlest things, I should probably just leave and then something I don't get... "sometimes people learn the hard way." WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? I have a lot more to say that won't fit in here but this is probably the 20th+ time we have argued over social media.. we even deleted our FBs because of it..

So basically... I just want to know if guys say those things to scare their gfs or if he really means it? And should I stop texting/calling until he calls me?

by the way I am 20 and he is 25, almost 26.

[GamerArtNerd]

He means it. You are way too paranoid and he Cabot stand the fact that he always has to be on his toes with you. Your lack of trust for him is taken as pure lack of respect and nobody likes that.

By "the hard way" he meant that breaking up is the only way that he'll get this through your head since the arguments obviously aren't working. If you break up, it'll force you to think about what you did wrong that lead to it.

I'm glad that you are aware of the problem at least. The best thing you can possibly do is key him know that you are aware and apologize to him for it. Let him know that you'll try hard not to do it anymore and tell him to stop you if he catches it again.

[lavitadia]

I did apologize but at the moment he is ignoring me.. should I just leave it alone and let him be. and when we both get home just wait for him to talk to me?

[GamerArtNerd]

Sorry for the mistyped btw... autocorrect on this phone sucks.

[GamerArtNerd]

Send him a long text explaining pretty much everything you just said and everything I recommended. This will let him knew that you are sincere and that it's lingering in your mind. A smile "sorry" really isn't enough to convince him you fully understand why he's upset and more importantly, it's not enough to convince him that you'll change.

[GamerArtNerd]

Simple* not smile

[lavitadia]

I sent him an email because the text was long, I mean he might not see it til lunch because he works in a warehouse but yea.. can private I message it to you tell me what you think?

[GamerArtNerd]

Sure

[Anonymous]

He means it.
No one likes dating a crazy person, and you fit the bill.

Usually the only way crazys stop being so crazy, is because they realise it has cost them too much in the past. They lost the love of their life by being such a crazy person.

That's what he means by sometimes people learn the hard way. You're going to learn, the hard way.
Having a dream about something and waking up to see if it's true? CRAZY!

You're going to have to learn that such behaviour drives even the most patient good guy away.

[lavitadia]

Yea... you're right...

[UrHomie]

This guy is right you are overreacting. Just because you seen it in your head doesn't mean it's true. I'm sorry but it sounds like you need to go to therapy. I know we all have our stuff but you need therapy. No offense.

[yaddayaddayadda02]

I hope he means it. You need some help, girl.

[lavitadia]

Well that's rude. I was asking for help that didn't do much for me.

[yaddayaddayadda02]

That's fine if you think it's rude, you've been acting out in this relationship for over a year. Never once made a concerted effort to change and he's finally getting tired of it. You're acting completely irrational. Maybe losing a great relationship will be the tough life lesson you need to get some help. I wish you the best of luck.

[lavitadia]

I actually have tried to make an effort to fix it. YES I am overeacting about a lot. BUT I do know that the things I do are not acceptable and not too many people would deal with it. I have tried therapy for him to try to correct my insecurities. I have taken harsh advice from his friends and people he talks to the most about me. I didn't put anything about the shit he does or the things he won't stop that upset me in this because I am not taking away the fact that I have wrongs.

[yaddayaddayadda02]

Right. It's all his fault. If it's truly that bad, you should be relieved it's over. And he's probably not stopping irrational requests you make. I wouldn't stop them either.

[lavitadia]

DId I say it was his fault? No.. You need to re-read what I said. I KNOW I HAVE WRONGS and I didn't add the things he does because I am not trying to TAKE AWAY from my wrongs.