Is it OK for my husband to tell another woman he loves her?

My husband was very friendly with a female coworker. He would call her outside of work. It made me uncomfortable so I asked him to stop talking to her outside of work. He refused, he stated "I'm not doing anything wrong." The situation escalated over time and I again asked him to stop talking to her. He told me he did. However, he sent her two text messages one that said " I love you" and one that said "call me when you can." They were sent consecutively. I confronted him about this and he said she was having a bad day with her Boyfriend and he was just telling her as a friend. This is very unusual for him to tell anyone he loves them. I asked him to stop talking to her, again. He lied and said he did, but she would just randomly stop by his work. He told me he thought she was stalking him and he did not know how to get rid of her. Yet he never told her to go away. Should I believe him?


Most Helpful Guy

  • He's disrespecting you and your marriage. It's probably hard for you to see as clearly as you should, as you want to believe him. The fact is, he has no business even associating outside of the work place with any woman, and he sure has no business telling her he loves her in any context. Tell him you will be very glad to tell her to go away (as his wife you have every right) if he can't seem to do it himself, but that if you so much as even hear of him being in contact with her again, you're are out the door. He is way out of line, and it's obvious something is up. If it were me, and the money was available, I'd put a private investigator on his trail, and get the truth.


What Guys Said 4

  • should you believe him... hmm

    no you shouldn't believe him because he's obviously lying

  • You already know what to believe. WHEN a woman "stalks" us as we call it, it's because we've either slept with her/ or had other physical relations. At this point, it's time for a new cell number and all out RULES that he is to abide by. When we go too far, it's hard to pull back because SOME- NOT all- only SOME people do not consider to spouse and only look out for what they want with THEIR spouse. NOT in all cases and I'm no expert- only from MY experience. I'd say that your husband could have enjoyed the outside attention but he'd NEVER be ok with you doing the same things. MAKE that clear, flip the flick and show him his own movie with YOU starring in the show with another man and see what he's suggest. Set boundaries. There is NOT a shortage of men, there is a shortage of people who are willing to CONTINUE to honor their committments. He either wants to honor and love the wife he has or fool around like a silly person with no morals. Pick your poison but YOU don't have to take it!

    Been there, done that, blessed with ONE good woman who let me FIND myself all BY myself before I realized what I was willing to risk. Soon, I realized that "going to far" is not an option.

  • NO! Being that my father was a cheater and I remember that from my childhood and all of the lies and different techniques he used to convince my mother he wasn't cheating I'd say the chances of him boldly liying to you and having something behind your back with her is probably pretty good.

    However, I'd like to say that I have told people other than whom I was in a relationship I loved them, because I believe there's more than one kind of love, and I really love my best friends and my family. However, if the love of my life told me to stop seeing a close friend and I knew I'd still have them as my love then I'd drop even my current rl best friend. Family above all and what kind of family is closer than a wife?

    Hope this answer helps, please keep us posted and I sincerely hope your husband isn't cheating on your or anything =/


What Girls Said 4

  • No you should not believing. It's obvious he's lying and you shouldn't' even doubt this.

  • NO. It's so obvious he is lying. If they were friends she would understand that it's not a good time

    to be around as he is married to you and what others would think, so that girl has her reasons

    to stick around.

  • I wouldn't believe him. When you tell somebody straight up that you want them to go away, lose your number and never talk to them again generally the person does it. He obviously hasn't made his point clear. I wouldn't be ok with my fiancee telling another girl he loved her. Him not ending this relationship is disrepectful to you and he needs to get his priorities straight. Either he cares for her way more than he should so he actually does not want to get rid of her, or he is worried about sparing her feelings. If it's the first case then you have a problem and it needs to be fixed. If it's the second, again, you have a problem because he is making her feelings matter equally, if not more, than yours. Either way he is going to hurt someone, he just needs to stop hurting the wrong someone.

  • you are married to a cheater! welcome to the club!