My girlfriend's ex won't leave her alone. How do you get your girlfriend to forget about their ex?

[Anonymous]

My girlfriend is a international student, I know that she still has feelings for her ex as her ex still loves her. Its been almost a year since they broke up. They have been together for 4 years and the reason for their break up wasn't really a good reason. She wanted to come to Canada for school and stay here, but he cannot come over. So she broke it off with him.

Now her ex won't stop bothering her and my girlfriend is too soft to ignore him. because she feels that she has done him wrong and that she doesn't want to hurt him. We been trying to talk this out for a couple weeks now, and I have no clue where this is going.

Sometimes it seems like she doesn't want to let him go, but she keep saying that it is over. For sure she still has feelings for him, it is understandable. But since she is with me now I want her to respect our relationship and stop talking with him and love me. I know it is hard for her to just forget and love be, but I was hoping that slowly with me she can forget him and truly love me one day.

I really love my girlfriend and want to work this thing out. But I do not know what to do. Anyone in the same situation or have some good advice on how to handle this.

Updates

+1 y

The thing is that if she stays in Canada, it is impossible for her to be with her ex. I know that she is not over him, because it hasn't been that long since their break up. So I was thinking if I should stay with her and wait for her to forget

Updates

+1 y

about her ex and open her heart to me. We talked and she was being honest about it and she said that she loves me as well and I really love her as well. With her it has been the most comfortable and happy moments of my life.

[SamScho110]

i think that you guys should break up for the time being because she does obviously have feelings for her ex and even though you may be accepting of it now eventually you'll grow tired of it and you're going to have her make a decision between the two of you. It happened to me with one of my boyfriends but I was the ex so i know how these things work. You have to let her have time to herself to decide what she wants without you being there because she is a softy and doesn't want to hurt anyone but she'll have to figure it out sometime and it'd be best for her to do it without the pressure of you or her ex (not saying that you are putting extreme pressure on her but in this situation there is obviously some pressure even if not intended.) so yeah take a break from each other and let her figure herself out

[Marihorror]

I strongly suggest that you break up with her. It isn't fair to you to be dating a girl who isn't giving you her 100% emotionally. Not only that, but continuing to talk to her ex while she's in a new relationship shows a lack of respect on her part, and would make me question her loyalty. Having an emotional affair is just as bad if not worse than a physical one.

[jackyct]

sounds like you're just a place filler for her ex because she can't be with him. you have a very bad girlfriend to be honest. she obviously doesn't love you nearly as much as she still loves her ex. sounds like you guys should break up because since she has another guy on her mind, it doesn't make sense to continue.

[plain_table]

What she said.

[plain_table]

Getting over someone you really loved for a long time, will be really tough. I personally found it impossible to get over my ex, when I was still in touch with him. I think that she still has some feelings for her ex.

I agree with @jackyct.

But if you still want to continue the relationship, all I can do is hope that it turns out well for you, ... that she gets over her ex. :)