My boyfriend would rather spend time with roommates than me?

[Anonymous]

Ok so me and my bf have been dating for almost 3 years and we are both the same age, 23. Lately I have been stressing to him the importance of him establishing a "career" because he is about to turn 24 in a couple of months and I do want better for him. He tried enlisting into the military but he did not meet the weight requirement so now he is trying to become a firefighter. In the beginning of our relationship we loved spending every waking moment together and I still kind of love spending time with him, yet i don't think he feels the same way anymore. We do not live to together and we both work so we only see each other about 2 times a week. However, my boyfriend has four straight days off and spends most of them with his friends whom he lives with and sees everyday! Now when I offer to take him someplace or do something for him, he would rather have one of his roommates do it and when we are spending time together I feel as though he is not cherishing the moment. If I spend the night, if I wake up in the morning he is already up playing with his yuigoh cards (childish) or if we are over my house he is constantly on his phone either face booking/instagramming, texting friends or looking at live video game streams. Also, If I make the first move when it comes to sex we won't even bother and it kind of hurts my feelings so now I just let him make the first move but we don't have sex as much as we use too. I have confronted him on this and his excuse was that he was tired and overworked in which maybe he is. Also, we rarely go out of dates anymore and his excuse is not having money. The days that we would normally spend together, he would make plans that don't involve me in advanced. I have confronted him numerous times in the past on his dependency to his friends and he would just apologize, spend more time with me that week, then go back to the same behavior the next week. I just don't know where his head is at anymore and it hurts and I don't know what to do?

[Anonymous]

You guys have been together for a while, he's quite comfortable with you and doesn't feel the need to create the romance as much anymore, and doesn't worry about doing something that'll make you leave.
He's clearly happy with his roommates, they enjoy each other.
When you two spend time together, what is it like? You mentioned how he is, but how are you treating him when together?
You mentioned stressing the importance of finding a career and bettering himself, is it possible he feels pressured by you in some way?
Pressured to be better than he is, or pressured to move things along, meaning marriage and kids down the line, etc.
Did he act upset or depressed about not making it into the military? Maybe he's stressing about these things too and isn't sure how to deal with it other than just hanging with friends who don't talk about it and play games and things… to distract himself.

[ESPNforever]

Yougioh cards (lol DEAD) Could he possibly have feelings for one of them? Sounds like bromance to me

[athorable]

I think he is upset with you from his behavior. Why is he spending more time with roommates?

[Asker]

I don't know and I have no idea thats why I'm asking this question lol but thanks for the feedback!

[athorable]

He is upset and that is why.