I no longer care about myself :( How can I change this?

[Anonymous]

I don't know what has happened to me. I used to be goal-oriented, take care of my looks and stay in shape, meet my friends, etc. Lately (like past 6 months) I have kind of lost it. I don't exercise, I eat whatever crap I crave. I've gained a lot which makes me sad and depressed. I feel ugly and I no longer care about clothing, make up, hair etc. I mean I do something but I'm not enthusiastic about it. I'd rather just stay in all by myself.

I'm stressed out and lack energy. I can barely cope with my job. I'm so tired I don't really meet my friends and family anymore.

How could I change this and get my old life back?

[TedJR]

I might be a guy but I understand completely. What could be causing the frustration? It could be many things combined or just one thing. But nothing is a easy fix. Talk to someone really close to you, like a parent or close friend and take baby steps to moving forward. I myself got help from family and honestly if I didn't have family... not sure if I would be alive right now say the least.

[unknown513331]

Sound like you are depressed. This guy kinda helped me and some of my friends https://www.actualized.org/ ... And I have a goal to always make at least one person smile in a day and started coming her to try and help people , so if you want or need to talk I´m here. ;)

[Asker]

Thanks, I'll look that :) That's a good goal. I used to try to do nice things to others and get excited about things but lately I basically just work, eat and sleep... I might be sad because I broke up with my boyfriend about half a year now...

[unknown513331]

that might be it!!! I guess you loved him and he was the one to broke up with you. I had the same thing , lasted for years... but I got cheated... so... yeah , I know depression , when I see one. You need to talk about that , you know get closer and keep it in the past , learn from it and move on.

[Asker]

Yes, he broke up with me! He cheated on me, too. Sorry to hear about yours :( I heard he had said to my friend I've become a beached whale and he's glad we broke up :(

[unknown513331]

That´s harsh... you don´t deserve that... use it as a fuel! You know , best revenge is to have a good life :) After break up I learned to play guitar , I can run 13 km (I´m European, so its kilometers for me) and am preparing to run a half a marathon. You need to work on your self , for your self! And you need to say it all what you think and how you feel , you need to stop carrying that load on your chest.

[Asker]

Okay :) Thanks for your advice

[unknown513331]

No problem , hope I helped. Talk to a friend and get it out , that´s how I did it. And by the way , don´t go to counselor , or something like that. That girl that cheated on me was depressed was seeing one and she ended up in a mental institution... they will just prescribe drugs. You need to talk , see and feel that someone cares about you and deal with the problem , not hide from it with pills.

[Asker]

Really? I was thinking about going to a counselor or something. What would you suggest? I don't really wanna burden my friends or family I'm kinda private person

[unknown513331]

It might work , but you are half way there , you admit that you have a problem , you admit you can´t handle it alone and you are trying to deal with it , so I don´t thing you are that critical to go see someone... you are not suicidal , right? If you can´t talk to your family and friends , then why do you have them and are they a bad family and friends. I understand family I didn´t want and I didn´t tell my parents or family but I did talk to my friends. If they don´t want talk to you or going to think bad about you , they are not your friends. Second , I realized I was feeling lonely , unloved and after getting cheated I didn´t trust women... so I had problem with women and only way to solve it was to TALK to a woman. Thankfull I meet a girl that listen to me and help me get over it. And I meditate... that´s how I did it. And I hope you can do it too. You sound like a nice girl ;)

[Asker]

Okay :) thanks again. No, I do want to live, I just don't like the way my life feels now... I used to happy and lively and active and I miss that girl. I have good friends and am quite close to my parents but I don't really talk about my personal issues with them... i don't know why. It just feels odd. And I think they think I'm just lazy, fat and ugly :( I've put on so much weight since my bf left me I don't recognize myself :/ I'll try to learn to meditate, maybe that helps

[unknown513331]

I know exactly how you feel , word by word , with being close and not sharing personal feelings. It´s wrong. You know , for me definition of success is to get up just once more than you fall. If you want you can go to my profile and send me a message whenever you want. That girl that helped me , I meet her online and just talking with her did wonders for me and it was easier online with a stranger. She´s the reason am her , I wanna help the way she helped me and hope that that person I help one day will do the same for somebody else and maybe , who knows , this world might become a better place. Work on your self , start today , step by step. You don´t need to run 2 km , run 200m , instead of 2 rows of chocolate take 1. Don´t expect to change over night. It´s a long process , but totally worth it.

[Asker]

It's nice to hear someone understanding this! I know everything's not always how it seems to be but I feel like my friend's are making careers, getting married, etc. And I'm happy for them! I try to be thankful about the things that are good but it feels like nobody really gets me... I feel really lonely.
I might write to you, thanks :) I'm always listening to my friends problems but never tell anything to them lol. I try to do some work outs and stop eating, I kind of throw up whenever I eat :(

[unknown513331]

I know everything , being lonely , nobody getting you , feeling like everybody is going somewhere and you are in a rot. Helping other but nobody helping you. Shit , I know it all , that was me , man , that was me. I´m going to sleep now , but do contact me. I can´t solve your problems for you , but I can motivate you and listen to you. :)

[Asker]

Thanks :) by the way I wasn't able to send you a private message for some reason.

[unknown513331]

danicvj@gmail. com ... that´s my mail :)

[harakiri]

ask for help. let your family know what's going on. you need someone to step in here and help you out a bit. perhaps go to counseling, see what's at the root of your feelings. the weight gain, the lack of interest in social activities, the general unhappiness does sound like major depressive disorder.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Major_depressive_disorder

[Asker]

Thanks. I don't really wanna make my family worried but I might try to talk to someone, like a counselor. I just thought this is like a weird phase but maybe this is more serious.

[harakiri]

i know you don't want to worry them, but i think you should. that's what family is there for, to help you when you need. don't try to address this by yourself. you need your support system. starting off with counseling is a great idea, but i really think you need to get in touch with the people who love you.

[why_not_anonymous]

Eat right and exercise. Weight gain may be throwing your hormones off, and affecting your mental states. Plus the negatives of how it makes you feel. It's also behind your lack of energy (which doesn't help in the exercise realm).

[Asker]

Ok, thanks :) I'll try to change that. It's just like a vicious circle you know... I binge eat during the nights and try a diet in the morning etc.

[JustinCaseUDontKnow]

Sound like you got "Major Depression" your best to get some help
or call on someone to help you

[JustinCaseUDontKnow]

What Is Major or Clinical Depression?

Most people feel sad or low at some point in their lives. But
clinical depression is marked by a depressed mood most of
the day, particularly in the morning, and a loss of interest in
normal activities and relationships -- symptoms that are present
every day for at least 2 weeks. In addition, according to the DSM-5
-- a manual used to diagnose mental health conditions -- you may
have other symptoms.
Those symptoms might include:
•Fatigue or loss of energy almost every day
•Feelings of worthlessness or guilt almost every day
•Impaired concentration, indecisiveness
•Insomnia or hypersomnia (excessive sleeping) almost every day
•Markedly diminished interest or pleasure in almost all activities nearly
every day (called anhedonia, this symptom can be indicated by reports
from significant others)
•Restlessness or feeling slowed down
•Recurring thoughts of death or suicide
•Significant weight loss/ gain (a change of month)

[Asker]

Ok, thanks. I have quite many of those :/

[JustinCaseUDontKnow]

You're welcome i hope you get some help and feel better :)

[Klaatu51]

just think that you look ugly, all the time, and once you'll get fed up with it you'll start to care more

[ThisAndThat]

You are experiencing depression. Have you or are you seeing a doctor for your symptoms?

[Asker]

Okay, I didn't realize that... No I haven't but maybe I should if this sounds like it.

[ThisAndThat]

Yeah the definitely sounds like it. I have had some problems with it to. Are you located in the US?

[ThisAndThat]

Sorry I meant to say the symptoms definitely sound like depression.

[Asker]

Nope, I'm from Germany.

[ThisAndThat]

I'm not sure how it works in Germany. In the states we have what is known as public healthcare.