My boyfriend has asked me to stop eating pork. Muslim and agnostic relationship?

Question

My boyfriend identifies as muslim however doesn't pray occasionaly drinks but doesn't eat pork. We have been on and off for 2.5 years.
 we lived together for a year and went on a break for 5 months and have been working things out recently.
 In the time I was living with him I stopped eating pork and to be honest I did do it for him.
While we broke up I was eating pork and still am atm of which he is aware. We recently had an argument in which he said there are things I won't compromise on like my partner eating pork and my kids eating pork while living in his house. 
He said out of respect to him and his beliefs I should stop eating pork in order to set a good example for the future kids. 
However I feel like by doing this for him id be losing my views and beliefs (because I don't care about pork as I wasn't raised to not eat it) and I feel like its an attempt at controlling me and what I do.

Im curious to see what others would do. 
Would you?

 stop eating pork in full awareness that I would be doing it solely for him and his values and out of respect to him?

Offer the compromise of not eating pork in his presence and if we live together not bringing it into the home out of respect?

tell him that I will continue to eat pork as I see fit and if there is no long term prospects in this instance that we should go our separate ways?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Hi Lady, It's Not About Controlling You (He May Be Power Hungry Or Not But It's Not About That At All), It's About Hating The Situation That You Do A ((Taboo)) He Didn't Or Never Do, He Couldn't Handle That You Ate His Old ((Taboo)) That He Never ((Commit)) & You Were ((Commiting)) Long Ago, It's Not About Culture, Respect Or Religion, But He's Willing To ((Forgive)) You Because Eating Pork Or Bacon Isn't Such A Big Deal, I'm Muslim But I'll Explain It Just As A Man, If I Was Virgin I Would Refused Any Not Virgin Girl Not Because Losing Her Virginity Meant She Was A Bad Girl But Because I'd Clearly Feel ((Weaker)) Or Say Less Than Her (I Lost It When I Was 13YO), I Won't Accept A Girl That Drinks Alcoholics If I Weren't Drinking, It's Just Like This & No Phsycology Expert Is Going To Tell You Such Theories Because He Simply Don't Know, Your Boyfriend Personality Type Is So Rare & I'm Ensuring He Loves You More Than Life (Also You Love Him More Than You Could Expect), Please Never Be Agressive & Be Diplomatic, Try Talking Directly With Him That He's ((Stronger)) Than You & Remind Him He Did Much ((Taboos)) In His Entire Life (If That Really Happend) To Make Him Feel As ((A Real Man)) According To His Way Of Thinking & Please Never Eat Ham, Bacon Or Pork Because It's Really Bad For Your Health, Knowing That Pigs Tissue Is Much Similar To Us Humans & That's Just Scary, I Admit I Ate Bacon Few Times Untill My Ex-Girlfriend (She Was White American - Neither Muslim Nor Jewish) Adviced Me Not To Do For Health Reasons (I Already Knew) Telling Me That She & Some Of Her Family Members Never Ate It Just For Health Reasons, Be Soft, Spoil Him & He'll Love You Forever, Please Note (Both Of You) Not To Try Obligating Your Children On Certain Religion Because That Will Make Them Hate All Religions, Whatever You Record Them They'll Grow Up & Choose At Least Into Their Hearts, Making Problems With Each Other About What Would You ((Record)) Them As Or Should They Be Raised As Muslims, Christians Or Irreligious Isn't A Big Deal, So Don't Ruin Your Love About Such Matters, I'm Muslim Who's Convienced With Islam , Pray, Read Quran With Meditaion And Understanding & Do Good Things But I Won't Claim I'm An Angel, With All My Respect To Your Boyfriend I'm Not An Athiest But Men Are Men & I Explained The Case Through Phsycology Not Religion, Wish You Both The Best.

Bluegrimoire · Accepted Answer

I voted B, he shoulf respecf and accept you as the pork-eating person that you are and out of respect for the relationship you could stop eating pork in his presence. It is unfair for you to stop being you because he asked you to. Try asking is it possible to do a fair trade. You stop eating pork but he has to start eating it. Fair exchange, is it not? It weighs exactly the same. If he refuses then on what ground is it fair for him to ask you to stop eating pork? He has to give something equally big. Like quitting smoking or drinking and start praying. The whole nine yards or none at all.

Hope that helps.

BeInnovative · Accepted Answer

I will take a look it in two ways: first as a reason why you should quit and second as to the answer of people who say 'dump him' due to their own lack of religion knowledge. I myself feel I am an agnostic, i dont practice any religion, and I am a vegan. However I ate pork when I was dating my recent ex b4 bein vegan
Well, not becuz of him but for yourself stop eating pork anyways. There are many diseases coming from pigs as they eat their own or others' carcasses, bugs, insects etc. They r already not worth to eat because they eat shit. Apart from that, think about swine flu, trichinellosis etc. Pork versus cow meat is like different in their digestion. Cows spend a good time digesting and getting rid of the toxic substances in the body whereas pigs directly digest like human and keep some toxins in the fat tissue and you cannot het rid of them even if you cook them. Plusi am not sure check into that but i heard that pigs dont have sweat glands and you know sweating is important to get rid of body toxins for some creatures.
Apart from those, being humane, the pigs have feelings, and they are killed in pain in farms mostly. I dont think animal rights are put inti practice in USA or China for the sake of providing meat. They just make poor animals suffer. If it is RELIGION, in Christianity, the Old Testament, in Levicitus, mention not eating pork. So how some Christian people are talking about Muslims in a bad way due to eating/not eating pork, i dont get it. I believe religions are stupid and I dont believe but if 2 out of 3 book-only-religions (jewish-islam) prohibit pork, then maybe they knew something when they are creating these story books like Torah or Quran. Anyways I dont say stop eating just because of him, but because of your own willingness to quit eating meat for your health, for animals' right etc... so you can hit two birds with one reason. But if u cannot quit eating pork and u love eating it to death, then he should start learning to respect.

TheDevilInside · Accepted Answer

uh-oh. Looks like you might have caught yourself a controlling muslim man there.

This is like Christian Grey and Ana. lol. He tells her what to eat and what not to eat. Do you seriously want a guy who controls what you eat and what you don't eat? I mean, it's not like his brother is a pig and if you eat pork then it's basically like you're eating his brother... It's just a type of meat, for god's sake.

And sure, he says that he would compromise in other areas, JUST this one he wouldn't compromise. Well guess what girl? He's trying to control you and the way you live your life. If you give in to this one, he will start demanding other things too, things that you don't want to do. You give in again, he will demand something else again.

The more you give in, the more control you're giving him over your life.

Do you really want a guy who controls your life? This is not the 50s, nor are you living in the middle east, I assume? If you live in the west, then the western rules of man-and-women-relationship applies here. THE MAN DOES NOT CONTROL HIS WOMAN. We're strong independent women. Don't let a guy control you! If he threatens to break up with you over fucking pork, tell him to find a muslim girl instead from some oppressed middle eastern country, then he won't have to make compromises anymore.

You go find a man who respects you and loves you for who you are and whatever you eat! A man who sees you as his equal.

Another thing you maybe could do:
tell him you'll give up pork IF he is also willing to give something up, something that he likes but you don't. See? Cause that's what's compromise is about. See if he'll cave in to that. If he does pull this test through, then he might be fair guy. If he refuses to do it, he's shit. And shit gets dumped.

Debara · Accepted Answer

This is my way of thinking about respective and accepting. I respect his religion he is right to not eat pork I am totally accept that. I respect myself I am not Muslim I am right to eat pork. He suppose to accept who I am. Since he knew I'm not Muslim. My child have right to choose what they want to eat and I'll respect that as long as it not kill anyone. As a good father he suppose to agree. No one force or control anyone. Win win win. So it is u to think about it. Talk to him again. Understand different and find solutions to live in peace together.

MaskedSanity · Answer

Why doesn't HE start eating pork out of respect for YOUR beliefs?

You're right, he IS trying to control you. You shouldn't have to stop doing something you like, that has LITERALLY no effect on him what so ever. It's his belief, that's it. His flesh won't start melting if he sees you chowing down in some bacon.

You are different people and the best thing to do would be to go your separate ways. Over time he will expect you to change even more, accept more of his beliefs and eventually convert.

Considering how much of a dickwad he's being to you already, I'd day it's a good idea to break up just because if that.

Overly religious people will ALWAYS try to change you to their religious liking.

Dionysos · Answer

Never date anyone who demands that you change to respect their belief in magical imaginary friends.

Never EVER date, much less raise kids with a cult member whose cult includes your subjugation and the death penalty if you or your kids leave.

He might be all that and a bag of chips, but he's also part of the most dangerous (to women) cult out there. The idea of having kids in it should scare the heck out of you.

And yeah I know. Loud noises. Indignation, etc.

Anonymous · Answer

thats just controlling behaviour, he's not willing to follow islam to the letter with drinking alcohol but expects you to give things up when you dont believe in it at all? hypocrite

"Through intoxicants and games of chance, Shaytan seeks only to cause enmity and hatred among you, and to turn you away from the remembrance of Allah and from Salah." (5:91)

controlling behaviour from any gender of any culture always starts with little things you aren't allowed to do that becomes something else and something else, before you know it he will tell you to convert or he won't marry you. thats what happened to my friends best friend. she had a baby with a very liberal muslim man and just before the marriage he told her to convert or he would take the baby and leave her and she would be able to do nothing about it, the personality change was sudden and unexpected. he claimed that non muslims were ok to mess around with and date but he would never respect or marry them

parkway · Answer

Sounds like your bf has a nasty attitude but his principals are worth the pain and trouble of his desires. What you have is a man who want to respect his God and have a house that respects his God, he wants the promise. The good is that he will likely not cheat on you and take the role of provider and this could hurt your ego.

I eat pork and should not. God created the pig or swine for a reason. The pig will eat anything and it's system is designed to process poison if presented without getting sick and die. Pork of today is more grain fed and not exposed to the enviroment. The pig does not sweat and holds poisons in, some poisons are released through the hoofs.

The fact that he is aruguing with you on the little things such as pork means that he thinks very highly of you and want you in his life the right way. To his creator he is doing good because this man wants the little things to count.

Good luck,

AdamThomas · Answer

I'll never understand people who date people who are so culturally and religiously different, especially with a Muslim. You have to change to make it work, they can't love you as you are. He's always going to want to restrict you in these ways. Your kids won't be raised your way, they'll be raised his way.

ConfusedGrocer · Answer

Today he asks you to stop eating pork, tommorrow he'll ask you to wear a hijab, quit your job and raise your kids Muslim. Don't make that mistake. It's not your religion, you're not disrespecting Islam by eating pork, simply because you have nothing to do with that religion.

cth96190 · Answer

You need yo fo some research on Islam.
Mohammed was a mass murdering paedophile and a lunatic who thought that he could talk with angels.
Islam endorses paedophilia, bestiality, slavery, commannds its followers to lie, to murder all unbelievers and take their women as sex slaves. Women are property and imams give instruction on how to beat women most effectively. The Quran commands that everyone who renounces Islam must be killed. You should read the Quran. It is all there. Any non-Muslim woman who forms a relationship with a Muslim is too stupid for words.

Hidden_P · Answer

Personally, I don't think this person is a Muslim.
That's like being a Christian and not believing in God. No. To have a religion, you BELIEVE in that God.

Also, he picks and choses at which things he wants to do (eg, occasionally prays and drinks) but insists that you stop eating pork? It's not your religion, and what makes him able to pick and chose at which bits are part of the religion? After all, believe in the God isn't!

My lovely, offer the compromise if you want, but I would carry on eating pork. One of my brothers is married to a Hindu (so she doesn't eat pork either). She says as long as he uses separate utensils when cooking for both, or makes sure that he washes anything that's been touching his pork products, she doesn't have an issue. If he was a devote Muslim, I could understand, but he's not. He's being controlling for no real reason.

Mesonfielde · Answer

Quit the relationship and be with someone who doesn't force their will down your throat. This is why I personally advise against dating Islamic people. Voted C).

Anonymous · Answer

uhhhm as a muslim myself
id like to tell you that muslims are not allowed to marry atheists, only jews and christians
and relationships of this kind are obviously a no-no
and i have foreign friends from different religions and i never ask them to stop drinking because MY faith says i dont drink thats absurd, i might advice them for their health but will never force them
and if lets say i was a vegetarian and i married someone who wasn't i wouldn't force him to stop eating meat either...

and p. s: him not believing in God also makes him an atheist (Allah=God/deity)... so yea, you eating pork is the least of his problems...

allwood · Answer

End this so called relationship now.
No one should force their beliefs on another person, and why should you 'respect' his beliefs anyway? Respect the person, not their beliefs.
My ex was a vegetarian, but she never told me I couldn't eat meat, and I never told her she should eat meat.
Get rid of him and move on, find someone who has respect for you.
Good luck.

ThatAsianFellow · Answer

Muslims see Pork as dirty however what they don't realize is that Pigs are very clean animals and their chosen meat is chicken.

The irony of this is chicken meat contains more harmful bacteria than pork. XD

So I actually got my Muslim friend to eat pork after finding that article for him to read lol!

jeanbean · Answer

Why should his personal beliefs affect your diet? He's against eating pork, fine, he doesn't have to eat pork and nobody's asking him to. It's wrong of him to try and force his beliefs onto you.

Tractorbeam · Answer

You can't have it both ways.
If you are respecting his religion by not eating pork, then he is not respecting your intelligence by asking you to do it.
There was some value in not eating pork thousands of years ago, when pigs were more likely to be wild and diseased. That's why his religion recommended not eating pigs.

Thesedays pig meat is no more a health risk than any other meat, but his religion is still thousands of years behind the times

binny91 · Answer

End the relationship, and tell him to harden the fuck up. The girl im dating doesn't eat pork but she doesn't care if I eat a bacon roll infront of her. If he wants you to stop eating pork tell him to stop praying and see if he'll cry about it.

pandagirl7 · Answer

So... it's not ok for you to do something that goes against his beliefs (eating pork) but it's ok for him (drinking and not praying)? In most cases, I would suggest compromises... however, this guy just seems controlling.

TheRavenborne · Answer

Stop eating pork? what?

Theguyoverthere · Answer

Eat pork and if ye makes a big deal, end the relationship. Whenever a relationship has differences in diet the other person shouldn't really force their diet on the other person. I notice this issue with vegans as well honestly. They feel everyone should be vegan. In a normal relationship if you got a vegetarian and the other is not, you two should just have your own dishes and leave it at that.

notgoodwithnames · Answer

if he would forbid your future kids of eating pork, and you don't want him too then leave him. you are too different and since he's a muslim he'd forbid to eat pork and you want to eat pork so you're different. if you wanna marry somebody you two should agree so yeah, leave him

rjroy3 · Answer

Ask him to compromise and eat pork. If you both had been together the whole 2.5 years strong and you stopped for him then started back up I could understand. But he has no right to ask that of you. Future kids is another question entirely. At this point it is a form of control, so unless there is something else that he will give up for you in return I'd say tell him no.

My boyfriend has asked me to stop eating pork. Muslim and agnostic relationship?

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