My husband broke my nose, what to do?

Question

My husband and I have been together 5 years. We have a 3 month old baby boy who is named after him. We recently moved across the country from my family, just because he wanted to be close to his. He demands that I only talk to my family and none of my friends from back home. This morning I had an old guy friend text me (didn't know he had gotten my number off fb, which I am not allowed to use either. He made me change my cell number as well). Message read "you suck". Prob due to the fact that I had told my younger cousin I could not attend her wedding (his little brother marrying my cousin). My husband flipped out, accused me of cheating, (I did not know the number at the time, I never text anyone) and lying since I wouldn't identify the number, and punched me in the nose, which is now broken... I do not work and cannot afford the bills to put him in jail... I don't know why he insists I'm cheating no matter how much I explain what my old friend wanted... what should I do?

Electric_Dreams · Accepted Answer

In regards to your update, there is now a history of domestic abuse. Brutal, horrifying domestic abuse.

This is dangerous... and it is as they say "textbook" domestic abuse. Y'know where they isolate you from your friends and even your family.. he's telling you you can talk to your family but the thing is he has moved you to the other side of the country so he has effectively isolated you from them too. One thing you should make sure of is that you tell your family what has happened.. I think. I think it's important that they know what is happening. One thing that all people who exhibit this kind of behaviour have in common is cowardice, also weakness, insecurity, paranoia. He's paranoid that you're cheating, obviously thought you were cheating with a guy friend before or that he was losing you to one.. and his own paranoia and insecurity has essentially become a self fulfilling prophecy on account of he is probably going to lose you now. He's on the verge or ruining everything for himself.. just don't let him ruin it for you. Remember that what he's done is a serious crime. Why do you need money to send him to jail? You mean to press charges and take him to court? There must be a way for justice to be done for people who are hard up, since many victims are. That doesn't sound right to me.

One concern is that you have a baby with him, which he might use as blackmail.. and essentially is all ready using to manipulate you to stay with him. If you have a very supportive family who you think you will feel safe with, then your best option may well be to arrange for you and the baby to live with them. I think it's an emergency to be honest. I would suggest that you have one of your family members come and pick you up if possible. If he tried to get you into trouble for taking the baby, you have the argument that he had broken your nose and that you didn't feel safe in his presence and certainly didn't feel that the baby was safe with him.

kambo_trick3y · Accepted Answer

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Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Going to the police won't cost you a thing. You say there was no previous case of domestic abuse, but you cannot know if there will be more cases in the future. You have a 3 month old baby, do you really want to stay with a guy like that?

Now, even if there was no history of domestic abuse. He is abusing you in ways that are not physical. You are not allowed to keep in touch with your friends, you're probably not even allowed to make new friends. You aren't allowed to use Facebook, he forced you to change your phone number. This guy is treating you like his slave. He is trying to take control over your entire life.

You have to leave, and you have to leave now. Go to the police, as them for advice (women's shelter for you and your baby might not be the worst idea). Is there a way for you to make it back home to your family? Do you have any friends nearby? Could someone from your family pick you up?

FallenAngel92 · Accepted Answer

Everything you just stated are classic signs of an abuser. Get out now do whatever you have to. Don't stay with him. It will not get any better. Abuser want you to be dependent on them which is why they make you cut off contact with people. Your family will be next. Believe me I know my aunt went through the same thing with her husband, but she stayed for 10 years and took the abuse. Now she no teeth, because he knocked them all out and bones that never healed properly because he stopped her from going to the hospital after one of his beatings. My cousins are messed up from watching the abuse for so long. Don't stay, I'm sure you love him, but he doesn't love you. Take your baby and leave,

iliveinazoo · Accepted Answer

I spent some time working for women's refuge. controlling behaviour like moving not letting u see or contact who u want is domestic abuse in a different form, I personally would wait till he is out and call the friend that is the one that text you be honest say u need help, u will most likely be shocked how willingly and quickly they support you. it's not good for you or your baby. I'm guessing you in America.   if that link works you may find some help on there. it's not your fault, it's not easy to just get up and leave or see where it's not right. all the best and stay strong if not for you for you baby

Stacyzee · Accepted Answer

There's never a good enough reason for any one to put their hands on someone else.
Don't even try to make sense of this.
He put his hands on you!

You are in a vulnerable position so you are going to stay and put up with it.
If you brush it off, chances are he will do it again.
Things will get much worse , and because of your circumstance you will feel even more trapped.

Get out now!
Anything is better than being with someone that is putting you in danger and your
newborn baby.
Reach out to someone you know.
Family? relatives?
And leave without telling him anything.
Get the police involved also.

Anonymous · Answer

He sounds like one of those islamic men, does religion play a factor in your relationship?

And how old is he same sort of age as yourself?

Why did he punch you? I know I'm prob gonna get loads of abuse but there are always two sides to every story so what happened did you start verbal defending yourself and he flipped even more what?

It's easy for everyone to say go to the cops divorce etc but it's not actually that easy my younger sister was in the same situation as you. Moved controlled etc

evenlift · Answer

You don't need to pay to put him in jail. Just go to the police. Having a broken nose is pretty solid evidence.

Codes · Answer

Oh my god!! D:
This is exactly what abuse hotlines, crisis centers, and the police are for!!
Look, please please please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233
( https:// www. thehotline. org / )

They should help you figure out what to do next, and they'll help with legal things. Note that you DON'T have to be able to *afford* to put someone in jail for abuse, or any other such criminal act!!

hypnicjerk · Answer

Lions and other predatory animals hunt by separating their prey from their herd and then going in for the kill. It's no coincidence that the abuse started after moving you away from your people, and it won't stop there. You will figure out a way to pay bills after you put him in jail, but you'll pay for the rest of your life if you don't get away from this now.

zinithin · Answer

He sounds controlling, if you let him get away with breaking your nose then you're signaling that he can get away with that behavior. Expect more of the same.

Tough position. You could just leave him, and he might pay child support. You should also look into programs for women with abusive partners.

SammyGurl · Answer

Wow, this just makes me sick. He abused you before he broke your nose. He has been abusing you mentally for some time. Now that he has hit you he won't stop. There is some very good advice here, just read through it. First, please call the police, then start divorce proceedings!

purplishone · Answer

How can he treats like this!! Dear you're not dependent to him. Look warn him, if he does it again divorce from him. You can earn your money, you can look after to your baby. He's not your God! You're a strong woman, you can success whatever you want. Trust yourself, you came to this world to live your life. You don't have to stand him..

lumos · Answer

I'd consider cutting you off from your family and not allowing you to basically talk to anyone domestic abuse. You need to go to the police and then get the hell out of there. Inform your family of this. They'll help.

Rogue2 · Answer

Just go to the police. Next time could be worse. That's inexcusable.

just4kiks · Answer

Leave him. I'm sure if you tell your family what's going on they will gladly help you get out of that situation. Money isn't important, but your life is.

gapminder · Answer

Leave ASAP, he has to know this is not tolerated! He made the choice to hit, you have to leave or it gets worse from here!

Acleverusername · Answer

Get a divorce and get a court order for him to pay child support. Living in an abusive relationship is just going to kill you slowly and set a bad environment for your child.

Telisha · Answer

Get out while you can.. domestic violence is never ok... you don't want to die by the hands of your lover

recklessheart · Answer

Please hun, go to the police, not only for your safety but for the safety of your child! You do not deserve to be treated that way!

wethepeople87 · Answer

Well now there is domestic violence. And it's going to get worse. Leave him and take your baby before it to late.

Your_boss · Answer

He sounds very controlling  Seek help from a women's shelter  Or call the national domestic abuse hotline

Anonymous · Answer

Stab him with a fork... at the end of a bayonet in... in the eyeball. Then bust a cap in his ass.

Princessofpersia · Answer

1. Divorce lawyer 2. Restraining order 3. press charges  4. Get full custody of children

JackKerouac77 · Answer

Break his dick with your teeth

Anonymous · Answer

Dump his ass ASAP!!!, and notify the Police as well!!!

My husband broke my nose, what to do?

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