How to be more dominant in a relationship.
I was talking to my girlfriend and she said she likes a dominant guy. I myself am pretty dominant, I run my own life no one else. But I don't know what she meant. I asked how and she said in every aspect.
Obviously she is clearly telling me to be dominant, but how? This was said a week or so ago, and I have been trying to initiate the kisses. She now dodges to try to make me grab her and I do! I tend to make the plans to hang out, and lead in the conversations. But what else can I do to be the dominant one. What things can I do to be more assertive.
I asked if she had boundaries and she said no. Well I'm not going to do some things. I asked if she would tell me if I went too far, and she said yes. So I guess I'm open to all and broad suggestions that you can guys give me.
What's Your Opinion?
Most Helpful Opinion
as a girl I know what she's talking about... she is probably and independant woman like I am always having to do for herself... so it feels good when the person you love tries to take over for a change... like me my boyfriend always says so where do you wanna go eat and ill say I don't know and we both end up being indecisive... so if she doesn't pick a place after you ask the first time then just pick somewhere she will comment if she absolutely doesn't want to go there and that's with any plans ... what do you want to do?... I don't know whaat do you want to do? then just make a decision... and as for going too far, if your a christian couple or have morals then DONT go too far... that will mess things up in the long run... so maybe when your making out if you are kissing her neck or something like that embrace her firmly around her back about around theupper rib line under her arms... she will appreciate it... it will make her feel wanted...and flirt with her more and when you do she will notice... and I think she is looking for a boundary line because she is looking for a new way to express ya'll's love...
What Girls Said 4
If your trying, than she should be happy with it. I mean, I hate when people ask someone to completely change something about them. Maybe improve on it a little, which is what your doing for her. But to change completely is a no no for me when it comes to relationships. I guess being married I know that I married the man who he was and it's not fair for me to ask him to change. I just hate when people ask someone to change like that. I think it's ok to be like "Hey if you did this a little more, than I'd be happy". But to change something completely is just iffy.
You are under 18 so one piece of advice I would give, considering in an adult context dominance usually has to do with a sexual style, is to be careful if you are having sex and she is trying to get more dominance there. There is a fine line for everyone between dominance and forced sex and that line is also different for everyone. It would be too easy to get into a situation where you thought things were going fine and she later says that they weren't and cries "rape". I think pulling a girl close or holding her firmly while kissing is great, but beyond that at your age, I would not go further.
What Guys Said 3
I'm sorry if that is going to be tough but that's what common sense and logic says, I see that you are still too young to dominate over anyone, it's meaningless, because when we're talking about taking control you need to be responsible for everything and make all the moves and take decisions, and your girl sounds like a normal teenager to me, they are all like that at that age and it's sexual to them, and when she says she wants you to dominate her this means she has no experience on anything whatsoever, wants you to take decisions about all, dumb and immaturity at it's worse, and it's not a sign of a serious relationship, in a serious relationship girls want to be equal with guys in that manner.
If you were 25 or older, I would have warmly told you how to make your woman feel that you are taking control the proper way, and she should never ask for that, you can only guess it.
If you're just talking about making love and sex, it's simple, you know how to start and teach her everything.
since you are under 18 keep smart and don't get your self in trouble with the law in regards to sex.. its just not worth it... but with regards to your question I will answer in a not sexual way.. you need to define exactly what you want and tell her that in a social non-demeaning way.. this means you got to know what you want and what you want with her.. it's not a way of control but that you project that you know who you are and what you find attractive about her and what you want with her and your life and future.. when you portray this type of command women find this attractive cause the know the guy isn't a pushover willing to grovel at every whim your date asks of you. Be a man and go for it.. but don't break any laws.. or be disrespectful.
It's tricky.. Dominant men are not thinkers.. they are doers!. they exude power.. women want someone reliable.. independent.. and strong-minded.. leaders. Learn to project the most subtle gestures, voice or attitudes of a dominant male and women will be attracted to that subconsciously.
Here are some traits you can acquire to help you NOT to be a man.. but to be THE man.
1. Never me submissive.. never seek approval from others on how they should behave in a social situation.
2. Never shy away from meeting new people or starting new conversations. If it's on your mind, say it. If you go through life caring about what others might think all the time, you are only setting your own boudnaries.
3. Never pay much mind to what others think of you. Take control of your own reality.. Be your own authority.
So there.. being a dominant male, is all about your attitude and projecting the image that you are fun to be with, that you are in control, and not a nice wimpish guy.
A dominant male would have never be uncertain of what to do with women. They always have something planned. Something exciting. They will take a woman by hand the hand and lead her into a state of wonderment.
This is an example from my life.. I went to dinner with this girl.. we had wonderful conversations.. and I was driving back and we were about to pass the highway exit for a beach that is 40 miles off course from our houses... and I was 5 seconds away from that exit going 70 mph.. and I said.. "hey you wanna go to the beach?.. hurry up you got 2 seconds to decide!".. loll and she said uhhh sure!.. and I just took that exit.. and my heart was racing and I knew hers was too.. and she liked it because she smiled and said "you are very spontaneous aren't you?".. and I just laughed.. hahahh and it was like 10 pm by the way.. so you see.. these are the kind of things you do to improve your dominance.