Girls (especially), how can a man be a gentleman?

[Anonymous]

A gentleman seems to be what a lot of girls want so I'm curious how would you define the traits AND actions that make a man a gentleman.

[Kurious94]

I 100% agree with nina- we don't expect guys to be crazy chivalrous and wait on us 24/7. We just want to feel loved and respected. Every guy has a different way of showing and communicating their appreciation though. Some guys might be very openly talkative about how they feel so they communicate using words (I find most guys aren't usually this type.. Most guys I've connected with usually don't know how to communicate their emotions so it's something guys In general I think should work on :) ... Few guys are this way though.. Other guys communicate their feelings through intimacy. When I say intimacy I don't just mean sex... It can be anything from hand holding , cuddling, having romantic dinners etc. some guys show their feelings old school style - holding doors, sliding girls chairs out.. Walking them to their front doors at night. There are many ways a guy can be a gentleman. The important thing is making the girl feel special, loved and respected :)

[ninalau]

To me, a gentleman is just someone who really cares about me. He doesn't have to open doors for me all the time or pull out chairs for me, but I would like him to make time for me. I think a lot of the time women say they want a gentleman, but, really, they just want to feel wanted, valued, and appreciated. A feel like quite a few guys these days don't really put in the effort that girls want n a relationship. Like I dated this guy before (and we were pretty serious in his eyes), but we only saw each other three times in the period of three months amounting up to about six hours of seeing each other. Lol. We aren't asking for all your time and attention, but knowing that you'll be there for us whenever we need it means more than you'll ever know.

[Asker]

Good advice.
I know you said you don't need a guy to open doors etc. but would you like a guy to do that?

[ninalau]

Yeah, I like when guys open doors for me (I think because it just shows that he's putting in the extra effort for me -- that's really attractive), but I feel like I would be like, "Uh... what are you doing?" if he pulled out a chair for me, though haha that's not necessary.

[Asker]

What other 'gentlemanly' gestures do you like?

[ninalau]

Umm... I really like when guys offer their jackets if you're shivering in the cold haha It's better when they pull you close and keep you warm with their hug. But I don't know if there is a standard set of "gentlemanly actions," it's just more about making her feel special.

[MissPoirot]

Really listen to her and ask for her opinion, compliment her, don't be immature, stick up for her and let her go first

[Asker]

What do you mean by let her go first?

[MissPoirot]

Like open doors for her, offer her food first for example. Pay for her when you go out to dinner and help her down stairs etc, offer your jacket when she's cold and be there for her when she's sad.

[Kurious94]

Personally this is something I don't 100% agree with. Girls aren't dainty little breakable things we used to be potrayed as. I guess some girls still like old fashioned gestures- And they can be nice. But if a guy was constantly opening doors for me , helping me down stairs.. Paying for my meals that would irritate me. Men and women should be equals when it comes to relationships. For example with my ex.. We would take turns paying for meals. Both partners in a relationship needs to feel loved and respected... And if it's just the guy putting in tons of effort, I don't think that's right.

[MissPoirot]

I agree we are equal however I do like these old fashioned gestures and eould love that in a relationship :)

[Ninja0022]

Being a gentleman has nothing to do with what Hollywood would make you think. A gentleman is someone who will get to know you find what makes you happy and be willing to make romantic gestures based on who you are as a person. Not some handbook.

[Error_204]

Read a book on the practices, of course. Etiquette is at the heart of it all.

[Anonymous]

a gentlemen is someone who will be there for you at your worst moment. they will go above and beyond to make you feel comfortable. a gentlemen is someone who makes you feel like you are valuable, highly desired, and appreciated. a gentlemen is cool, level headed, sane, and confident. they are accepting of you and dont look down on you. also, they call you beautiful and they make you feel like you are gorgeous even when you're in your sweatpants without any makeup.