Revive a long distance relationship?

how to spice things up again? after one year she is seeking other people for talking and started thinking we don't have that much in common (as we did a year ago?!) I'm tired of working on it alone and I'm nearly out of ideas, she is getting bored of routine... she was crazy about me in the past when I wasn't that much into her, now it's reversed! what to do?

give all genius ideas you can think of! or have tried before, and please give links and show me practically what to do, best idea that works on her will be voted as best answer!
ok more details, we planned everything and we were supposed to be meeting once every two months either me flying over to her country or vice versa, and we are supposed to unite in 3 years time after I finish my college, but still haven't met
haven't met yet because she is dodging around, I really don't understand, she says she wants to make sure I'm the right one for her first because she knows if we met she might fall for me, she was making me stay awake for whole night for talking but...
... but now she got a new job and moved to another city, now after she got new friends she spends most of time with them either drinking or hanging out or on phone, a guy next door that's interested in her, she tells me that guy is much better than I am!


Most Helpful Guy

  • Hello ,

    I know that you posted this topic looking for advices to get her back , but trust me the best thing to do is move on , otherwise you'll get hurt more than you are right know , and when she'll tell you that she did this and that with another guy , trust me you're really gonna get hurt because you care for her , best thing to do is to move on , I assume you're a really nice person , keep in mind that girl don't like nice people , don't ever fall for a girl you've never met , and don't be the first to fall for a girl , you'll always end up getting hurt .

    The fact that she don't want to meet you and always avoid giving her address so you can join her , just don't try to think of another meaning of the thing , she doesn't want to , just get over it , it's really rude to tell you that she's meeting someone better than you , I wonder how you can go out with a girl like that .. , you should be the one to drop her off , just ignore her , turn the page , and she may notice that she misses something , if she ever comes back , don't go easy on her , be a man , hurt her like she did .



What Girls Said 4

  • you haven't even met her yet?

    • I know this is stupid, but I haven't yet, I tried zillion of times, I was so close the last time tho then this crappy situation of her starting to doubt our relationship just showed up. we are both serious people with professions in real life, I just can't believe she is treating me this way, I don't get it.

    • Show All
    • Well, as a girl, I know why she would freak out if you were to ask her for her adress, but how bout you guyz meet in a public place? Or make up something, like "oh my family is going to vacation in this country, and I wanted to know if we can meet up somewhere?" I don't think it necessarily has to be @ her house.. And I'm tryinna shoot out all the possibilities here, but what if she doesn't look like what you think she looks like, and she is running away from you basically?

    • I'll keep trying meeting her that way, tried in the past but won't give up

  • i have a LDR ... and it sure can get hard at times ... it's all about really comitting and wanting to work things out together ... so if you feel like ur'e working on it alone and she doesn't put much effort into the relationship just call it off ... I know it sounds hard when you feel like you love someone ... but trust me if she doesn't feel the same way you do nothing will make her change her mind .. and it's not up to you nor it is your fault ... you don't have to settle for someone that feels you're not good enough to fight for ... I'm sure there's plenty other fish in the water ... best of luck though :)

  • me and my boyfriend are long distance too and he hasn't really talked to me much either. we used to be crazy about each other but now he always gives me excuses I think she's losing interest in you maybe because you 2 aren't with each other like side by side. maybe if she were really really with you, you 2 would have more fun and get a lot more interested because you can do things together.

  • i'm going through the same situation but like your girlfriend I'm starting to talk to other people and dropping subtle hints to my boyfriend that maybe we should break it off because its just too hard to try to work it out. I'm way too scared to say anything to him but I wish he would bring it up. that's what I think you should do, just ask her if she's been feeling that way and if its just a communication thing you should be fine because you'll know what to work on but if she's like me she might just be waiting for you to catch on so that you can end things together as opposed to feeling like the bad guy by dumping you. just give it a shot


What Guys Said 6

  • LDRs are hard ones! They really are and you know this for a fact.

    Both parties need to work extremely hard to keep the LDR running. How often do you meet? And what's the plan to end the LDR (in good terms, like moving in together)?

    Anyways, the next time you're too meet up you need to have a serious conversation with your girl if she still feels the same. If she doesn't I'm afraid I cannot give you any better advice than to break up on good terms. For you to keep trying and trying, in the end you'll be hurt way more than if you were to break up just now.

    Sounds hard, I know, but I'm afraid this is the best advice I can give you.

    • I was planning meeting these days but she is one tricky girl, I knew at this point we need to meet to make things work, but she was just telling me that if she met me now she knows she's gonna fall for me and then get "trapped" into a commitment with me and she might realize just when it's too late that she made the wrong decision! she keeps talking about that things in common crap, that's why I need some ideas to show her in someway that we are identical, once again


  • A year long LDR? Huh? How far is this? Obviously this was a very hard year for her as most women like to have there men with them often. I would not stick it out if I was her just because when I have a girl I want her all the time mentally and sexually. Maybe she just needs some commitment you will see her more often I am guessing she really likes the sex for sticking around that long. Do you have a plan for when you will be living closer to one another? Too much information missing to really give a real good answer on this...

  • If you haven't met, you don't have a lot to work with. The best thing to do is move on because your chances with her don't pan out well. It seems like her interest level is lower than yours and that's why she's been dodgy about meeting up with you. If you had then it would be a different ball game.

  • Who cares?