How long should you be dating before you ask her if she loves you?

How long should you be dating before you ask if "she really loves you"?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Well first of all, you're not supposed to ask if she loves you. You're supposed to tell her you love her! And it's different with every relationship. Say it when you're sure.


What Girls Said 24

  • You shouldn't ask this kind of question. I think if you love her like really love her I think you would know when the right time is. You and yourself is the only person who can give you this question.

    But I would say 2 three 3 months or when you guys are like totally comfortable with each other.

  • Wait until the guy says he doesn't love you (after saying he did years ago when perhaps "prompted") then call him four years later and ask him if it was for sex or love and when he says it was for sex you admit for the first time that he is the only person you've ever loved in your life. That's what I did!

  • Saying I love you. Here is what I think after reading several answers.

    I didn't realize we were such a fairy tale culture. you know, everything shouldnt change just because of those three words, and yet they do. Now even not saying them is supposed to mean something. Maybe some people aren't so sentimental and believe the most important things should be felt never said. maybe saying it spoils them. Maybe they should be said in other ways, like in actions and in clues so that it is so endearing and important it's never trivialized.

  • Don't ask her if she loves you. wait for her to truly feel and then she'll tell you. You should tell her when you truly feel it, but don;t get to pushy with her. Let her take things at her own pace!

  • awwww. just tell her that you love her and if she at least cares about you then everything will be ok. and in time she will love you back I'm sure

  • You shouldn't have to ask. Her actions should show it. that's how you know. She'll listen to you, respect you, call you all the time, she'll say it,

    • Unfortunately there are a lot of women out there who WON'T say it, who expect him to read their mind all the time, then get all bent out of shape if he doesn't read their mind right. So the poor guy never really knows where he stands unless he asks her in that case. He may really love her, she may really love him, but she just needs to change herself a little so it can work.

  • Why do you have to ask her if she loves you. How long should you be dating before you tell her that you love her? That's the question!

    You can't put a time on love. You can only express your feelings.

  • Bottom Line!.never put a time and date on when you should say the "L" word!.When you feel it say it!.Don't make things harder by trying to determine when its right and when its not? If you are in love.SAY IT!.Everything else goes from there.

    • YESSS... Finally some logic!

    • I agree with this answer. if you love someone then say it. it doesn't matter if they don't feel the same. people put too much meaning into these three words. it's not really that big of a deal. say it becos you mean it not becos you want to hear that they love you :)

  • When she's ready and comfortable to tell you she will. Also, just because she hasn't said so, doesn't mean she doesn't love you. She could just be unsure, or not ready with herself to openly say so. But if you love her, go ahead and say so! It may open the door for her to say the same ;D

  • Tell her that you love her when you feel like its right. If she really loves you than she will tell you she loves you when it is the right time.

  • Never ask her if she lover you, she will tell you when she is ready. Also before saying "i love you" actually think about if you really mean it as its 3 little words that should not be said lightly. Often love and lust can be confused!

    • Why not ask? I disagree.. I say ALWAYS ask. Then you don't have to offer up your feelings. You show me yours first and then I'll show you mine kind of thing.. You offer it up casually as if you couldn't care less. IN any case, you should have a hunch as to which one it is so you can say "You don't love me. And I'm bored by you not declaring it either way....Ho hum. " Or "You WOULD love me if I wasn't flawed, right?"

  • dont ask her if she loves you! If you love her tell her that in person. And watch her reactiona dn what she says. Her face will give you a clue on how she is feeling when you tell her that you love her. Good Luck!

  • Instead of asking if she loves you, maybe you should just tell her you love her. 6 months in my opinion is a good time, a little on the late side, but safe.

  • do you have another girl you're interested in so you don't waste time on this girl who doesn't love you potentially? wicked. usually after great sex is the right time; any time before that is way too soon. besides girls are simple, least I think, we just want to be around a good uh. well yea a good lover :).

    • Simple? I don't think so. But if you wish to view your gender that way, more power to you. I understand women need to be careful, but, there's a difference between being careful and getting a guy so confused he can't tell what you want or where you stand, which was my general experience with women, until I met my wife.

    • WHAT, lol. After sex is the worse time to tell someone you love them for the first time. It will seem like its more about lust than actual love. How can you say the woman doesn't potentially love him do you know her. It could be that she loves him as well and is afraid to say it because je doesn't feel the same. He asked about love all you seem to know about sex and they are 2 completely different things.

    • Yeah....uhhhhh... NO!

      There is no word in the english language to explain your stupidity.... maybe I should look into german or something.... in the meantime, this will suffice: YOURE RETARTED, SO GET OUT.

  • if someone asked me "do you really love me?" I would be really put off.

    if I said "i love you." I meant it.

    if I didn't, but I do, I'll do it on my own time, I don't need or want prompting.

    if I don't love him, I won't say it.

    • You are a rare woman if you're actually one who says what she really means, as opposed to playing games, meaning one thing, but saying or doing another. If more women were like you, they might have better relationships, because at least he'd know where you stood, as opposed to having to look into a crystal ball or trying to read tea leaves to figure you out. Most men appreciate a woman who DOESN'T play games with their head, but instead tells them how she really feels straight out.

    • Why would you be put off by somebody asking?

    • Because if I haven't said I love you I don't feel comefortable saying it yet. if someone asks me that they're stepping all over my space and making me uncomfortable. and they're putting me in the position that if I'm being honest, I'm going to have to tell them no. thereby hurting their feelings/making them angry and probably killing any chance of real love being able to grow. on top of that, the question posed was "do you REALLY love me?" which I just ridiculous. no. I fake love you. not really

  • Well there isn't really a period time you have to be dating but you don't wanna move too fast. It depends on your feelings for her especially if y'all have been together for a while. Maybe you should just sit her down and talk to her when you feel it's the time to talk.

  • Depends on the girl.Some fall for guys really fassttt & some dont.

  • Why ask when you can just tell her and go from there

  • tell her how you feel and wait for her answer.

    • Exactly! stole my answer....! XD


    • Tell her how you feel but do not expect her to answer straight away. It took a week later for my girlfriend :D

  • By the second date no later then the third __

  • Just tell her first, but don't expect her to say it back right away, although she might!

  • never, ever ever ever ever! never ask a girl, I've had that done to me before and it is such a huge turn off, it is SOOOOOOOOO confusing aswell. if you love her and want to know if she loves you too, JUST TELL HER. I swear, ask her if she loves you and she will just think you are playing games with her.worst move you could ever ever make.

  • On the third day I was with my boyfriend he told me he loved me(we have know each other for 3 years prior to going out). I was like wow.ummmmm.

    But we still go out and I totally love him and I told him so!

    • That is unusual.

    • Same with me. three days after I started going out with my boyfriend he told me he loved me. (but we were friends for almost two years before that) and I told him I loved him the second he told me. it wasnt a question of whether or not I had the feeling, I needed the guts to say it.

What Guys Said 12

  • I don't think there is a time limit to start loving someone. It varies. And I don't think asking someone if they really love you is the way to go. You should be able to tell from their actions, or even better, you should hear it too. Just be patient and if everything is going well, you probably won't even have to ask anything.

  • If you have to ask it shows doubt on your part. I know with my situation it just blurted out and she said she loved me too. If you really love her just say it. If she say's thank you or OK you know not to bother. But make sure you mean it some women have been through this and heard it all before. Timing is everything.

  • You don't tell her you love her, wait for her to tell you she loves you, then tell her.

    • I guess guys see it different with most girls. Most girls are waiting for the guy to tell them that he loves her. well unless its the type of chick that's not that comfortable with it I guess but for the most part girls can't wait for a guy to tell her he loves her

    • I'll agree with tex. Be a man, usually if you show your really really emo side it is bad. The girl might as well date another girl for that.

    • You have tht wrong...b/c some girls will be waitin for you to say it first!!! I mean not every girl but it is not always her jump into tht first either...

  • Heh buddy :D

    There is no time limit for that.

    When the other person really loves the significant other. . . She/He will say it.

    Be patient.

  • Shouldn't ask, it should be told to you unless you have uncertainty as to what her intentions are. if you ask it comes across as needy and insecure, women hate that, they want a confident man, so act as if she's just GOTTA love you, of course, you expect it

  • hehe, you won't fall in love during the dating periods dude,how long could dating go on?i guess maximum a month,but love is a hard thing to come by it takes time,now don't confuse love with proximity infatuation.

  • two weeks

  • You should never ask her if she loves you she will say it when she is ready. If you truly love her then tell her that you love her. People use the words I love you way too lightly nowadays though. They just say it because they think they should since they are in a relationship. I love you are very strong words and before you say it you should make sure you really mean it.

  • 4 months

  • dude b4 you ever say anything ask her friends and expect them to tell her that you asked that is the only way to run things faster :D just like in high school hahaha



    You don't ask her anything!

    You just wait. If she loves you you'll know it. By deeds, actions, a certain look can tell you a lot. But...try telling her you love her...if she says it then great, if she doesn't...she will!


  • Dont acutally ask if she loves you. Just say you love her! its sweeter and doesn't put as much pressure on her.