What does my FWB mean?

[Anonymous]

when he's asked by mutual friends of ours what's going on between us and he said something along the lines of "Nothing, she's obsessed with me and wants me and has a crush on me and wants to hook up but I'm not interested in her like that." And then also he replied to this same friend about me telling them that I am his mom's friend. I'm clueless what to think about those comments cause he and I have been carrying on hot and heavy for the past 1 1/2 years so far. Is that his way of letting it get back to me to let me know that he's grown tired of what we've had going on? I haven't been able to talk one on one with him about it to get his answers about the comments. Could it be that he just didn't want our friend to know about us? I'm not sure what to do. I know I don't want to lose his friendship. I'm willing to walk away from the FWB part of our friendship without any problems. He's the one who instigates everything between he and I every time we hook up. I mean yeah I'll walk up to him and wrap my arms around him and hug him or grab his sexy butt; but as to who instigates sex of all kinds between us, he does almost every time it happens. I think I have maybe 10 times in the time we've been FWB.

HELP! PLEASE! I'm totally confused.

Updates

+1 y

Well, I have totally ended things with my FWB because he treated me horrible one too many times and so I told him we were completely through. He doesn't believe me and still tries to hook up with me but I won't give him the time of day. I ignore him

[ty-lady]

FWB= Lonely nights, developed feelings & then dumped when he finds someone that he really likes. We all have to remember that men can have sex (steamy hot sex) and cuddle afterwards but once the door closes with them on the other side, all of that is out of their minds. They do no associate sex with love by far. When we put ourselves in the position to give a man ourselves with the understanding of it's only about sex then we give them a part of ourselves that we can not get back. He will hold a part of you even if you don't think so. Going into this, FWB relationship you have to understand that that is all it is going to be, that's the explanation of the word. Your concern now is that you at least end up with a friendship in the end, It won't happen (ultimately). You have allowed your feelings to get involved and you wanna use the excuse of "I will stop sleeping with him today if it makes it possible for us to still be friends" Bull, you can feed those bread crumbs on MySpace. Be honest to yourself, don't you owe yourself that much! Love yourself and then you will not want to be a FWB you will want the person that you lay with to share a real connection with your soul. Take your time and find yourself and slowly move on. Love & Peace!

[Asker]

I see your points completely. He has cheated on his Girlfriend with me for the past year and a half until they finally split up cause she is a psycho for real not joking. I dont' want him to love me at all. I totally enjoy him as my friend and the sex is just out of this world and the thing of the matter is that I HAVE walked away from him totally and I didn't go back to him he's the one who came calling me telling me he misses me, has been thinking about me and wants to come see me and we end up in bed

[Asker]

I do admit I had been head over heels in love with him last summer-winter and I had told him and that gave him ultimate control/power over me, I was weak to everything about him. I finally had fallen out of love with him about the time we had a big argument and I left his place and never turned back never called and 3 months later he called me out of the blue saying, "I've missed you so much, I've been thinking about you, I want to come see you." Well I missed him as my friend so I allowed him

[Asker]

Back into my life. That first night we saw each other he made a comment to me in front of 3 of his friends about how he wanted me up in my bed with him. Well, that's where we ended up. I didn't really think we'd keep in touch, yeah I admit, I was just horny that night. But we have kept in touch and we have stepped up the closeness of our friendship and he knows my feelings about him. He knows I WILL walk away from him again. He doesn't want me to. He called me and is coming here 2day for me.

[CrazynKinky]

Girl, a FWB can be fun but if you have feeling for him get out, if you feel awkward or upset when he pretends nothings going on you have to get out of it. But wow if your letting him make you sound like a fool like that don't give him sh*t! I don't care if it was a life or death secret if anyone made me look like a fool like that there'd be hell to pay. Don't do the he instigates it as an excuse to keep doing it you can keep your legs shut

[Asker]

Well, today we ended the whole thing. He got mad at me for talking to someone else and showing him that he can't control me like he can the little girls he choses. So he and I are no longer even friends. I am truly content with that as his attitude about me lately has sucked worse than normal. I know I deserve to be treated better and he'll see I don't need him. He'll come begging me to take him back as my friend and FWB but I'm done with him. He's not worth the headache of his talking smack.

[Asker]

I have no other feelings for him other than friendship and I didn't have a problem or feel awkward when he pretended nothing was going on, cause it was no one's business. But to hear he's talking smack about me about my weight. I won't tolerate it and I called him out on it and he tried to lie but I told him I didn't believe him. But like I said, we are no longer friends at all. But I don't want to lose his friendship. I can deal with no benefits.

[vice-chix]

Um hun. You are NOT an FWB. FWB implies friendship. In your case this guy won't even admit to that. If anything he belittles you to people YOU know. That is disrespectful and rude. Bottom line this guy is out for a piece nothing more.

If he is that embarassed about what you are together - I would suggest getting the hell outa this F-buddy arrangement. You are casual sex. Nothing more.

[Asker]

I have been calling him out on his attitude to me and about me. He just tries to sweet talk his way out of the issue. I have been thinking about severing all ties to him a lot lately. The last time he was at my place he wanted sex and I turned him down even though I WANTED HIM SO BADLY~! He's gotta learn to respect me from now on or he gets nothing from me. I won't be crying.

[stercor]

How old is he? If he refers to you as 'his Mom's friend" you're probably older than he is.

That being said, younger men with older women make the best couplings! I had a girlfriend who was 13 years older and we had a GREAT time! The only spoiler was when people referred to her as "older woman".

I don't know what to think or what to advise you on. I hope some of the other answers are helpful.

Ted

[Asker]

My FWB just turned 20 years old in Feb. He pursued me for almost 2 months before I finally decided ok, let's see where this goes. His mom is only 2 years older than me and she do badly wants him and I together and she wants me to get pg so she'll have a grandbaby she'll enjoy being around. I told her NO about having a baby with him as we are just friends. His whole family just adores me. I am 16 years older than him. He loves being with me whenever we can get the time.

[Cartiphilus]

'FWB' stands for 'Friends with Benefits'. meaning the two of you are **ck mates. The two of you may or may not have significant others and just like **uck each other.

[Asker]

Yeah I know what FWB stands for and yes, we are just sex buddies. Neither of us currently have significant others and yeah we definitely do like to have sex with each other a lot.

[Anonymous]

This guy really said "Nothing, she's obsessed with me and wants me and has a crush on me and wants to hook up but I'm not interested in her like that." and then said you were just his mom's friend in reference to you? That's your call if you want to share your body with someone who talks about you like that but I would have a problem with it. I am completely understanding of somebody wanting to be discreet about their private life but he didn't have to throw you under the bus and make you sound desperate to do it.

[Asker]

See, that's what I felt he did also. I mean he'd went to his friends house one night after we had hooked up and told a whole group of people that we'd just hooked up. Then a mutual friend of ours and he talks that way about me. I mean I'd be ok if we just go back to strictly friends if he wants but he is the one who keeps coming back to me for sex and then he talks that way. I mean the sex is HOOTTTT though too. lol Sad, a young man 16 years younger rocked my world more than the men my age have

[Standingpretty]

FWB is just that, a secret. It shouldn't matter what he says because you both just use each other for satisfaction. No, he probably still does want to hook up with you, but he doesn't want people to know about it. It's a good thing you decided to stop hooking up with him.

[Asker]

Yeah I know he still wants to hook up with me but I'm done with him completely. He has told so many people everything we have done in bed together. The night after he and I first slept together he told one of my neighbors and then he denied telling him when I asked him and I had even heard him tell him that he and I had just hooked up the night before and he really enjoyed it and was going to keep having me like that.

[Standingpretty]

I'm sorry! yeah, he's a jerk.

[Asker]

It's not your fault he's a jerk. And by the way, You're too nice just calling him a jerk. LOL. Even his own mother warned me about him. Her and I are still friends too. He doesn't like that but it's not his choice, it's mine and his mothers. He's just obsessed with me I think and he's jealous I've moved on with a real man and left him in my past and didn't cry or beg him to still be my friend. I have so many numbers I could call looking for him and I refuse to.

[Standingpretty]

"Boy why are so obssessed with me.." haha, sorry lol it just reminded me of that song. Yeah but that's nice that you can still be friends with his mom and that she is a great woman :)

[Asker]

Yeah I have dedicated that song to him. LOL That along with Kelli Pickler's "Best Days of Your Life", and JoDee Messina's "My Give a Damn's Busted"

Yeah his whole family just loves me so much. It's his loss that he has lost me. It was his fault.

[Reeses-pieces777]

you're ok with being fwb? I think your guys' friend wants to have a relationship with him and if they knew about you two being friends with benefits then it would make your "partner" upset he couldn't get laid with this friend.

[Asker]

I have ended the FWB along with the friendship. My former FWB tries to hook up with every female he can. He even wants our mutual friend he told this stuff to and she wants nothing to do with him like that. I'm not worried about who he hooks up with as he and I were only FWB and that's all and he was the one who was jealous over me being strictly friends with other men. He didn't want me to have any male friends.

[Starling]

Do you want a guy to talk about you like that anyways? Do you want someone who doesn't want others to know about you two? If your gonna let him have sex with you, he should at least treat you respectfully. which doesn't seem like he is.

[Asker]

He and I are through.. I have moved on with my life and he's not happy because it just happens to be with his Uncle. I was tired of the way he disrespected me so much and decided that I have a right to be 100% happy and yeah the sex was AWESOME but his attitude sucked big time and I do definitely deserve to be treated better.

[mikkie180]

He means he is using you for sex. Since you are in the relationship it is hard for you to see things clearly but it comes down to "why buy the cow when you get the milk for free?"

[Asker]

It was actually mutual that we were both just being FWB and then he began showing signs of jealousy and our mutual friends were noticing the way he was being towards me when it dealt with other men being near me. But he knows now that he has lost me for good though. He's not touching me ever again by MY CHOICE!

[Anonymous]

How old is this guy? As far as I can tell he is embarrassed about your arrangement but likes having sex with you. I would personally not only drop the sex with him but the friendship too. He sounds either young and immature or just plain rude.

[Asker]

He just turned 20 years old this year.

I honestly don't believe that he's embarrassed about the arrangement because he has told many people. I think for whatever reason he didn't want our friend to know. I mean he's told some of his friends. I know he likes having sex with me cause he has told me how he will not give up on being with me (FWB wise not matter what anyone says except for him and I of course.) He is pretty younge no doubt. I am 36 yrs. old. He pursued me over 2 months b4 FWB began

[Opinion Owner]

He is very immature. Have whatever fun it is that you are having with him, but I wouldn't really appreciate someone saying I was obsessed with them. I think sex-only deals are highly overrated and someone is bound to get hurt. Can't believe he was cheating on his girlfriend with you. I don't care if she is a psycho, that isn't cool.

[Asker]

He's not cheating on his girlfriend with me as they have split up about 3 weeks ago when she moved in with another man and is living with him now. He did cheat on his girlfriend with me and I wasn't the cause of them to split up though as he has always cheated on her throughout their whole relationship as she has him also as she has a 6 month old daughter by a different guy while her and my FWB was still together.

He's with a totally different woman now and still comes to me. I don't know what to say about him

[Opinion Owner]

It isn't a matter of what you have to say about him. Why are you having sex with such a mess? Cheating is wrong and it isn't cool that you are participating in the process. You need to respect yourself and doing what you are with him is not showing yourself that respect.

[Asker]

I have no right way to answer your question as to why I am having sex with such a mess. One reason I'd have to say is the sex is just totally amazing and I thouroughly enjoy the sex so much. I know I also have a very high self esteem of myself but a horribly low self respect for myself is a reason I probably allow myself to get involved with this situation with him all the time for the past year and a half. He knows he has a hold on me that I just can't get away from & he has since last summer

[Opinion Owner]

Well the charm of sex can only last so long. Hey, I had a FWB deal last year this time and he kept doing stupid things, like erratic contact, breaking off or forgetting plans we had to get together, acting disrespectful when we were out in public. I would ask him point-blank if he was embarassed and he kept coming up with excuses. He definitely wanted to continue to have sex but I told him it wasn't working for me and I stopped talking to him. He was surprised for sure. Stay strong!

[Opinion Owner]

And do not mistake when they tell you they miss you for meaning they miss "you". They miss having sex and easy access to sex. They do not miss us, because if they did they would treat us so differently. Do not be surprised that he will keep up the contact and the pressure so that he can have sex again but having sex with you is all he misses. He is a jerk.

[Asker]

I don't think you could have hit it more on the head with your last two answers if you tried. I would have to agree with you about he doesn't miss me he misses the sex we had. He had told me I'm the best he's ever had. Well, he has definitely lost out on the best he's ever had as I've not talked to him at all in about 3 weeks now and I don't miss him at all. I'm in a new relationship where I'm treated like a queen by a REAL MAN, not a punk ass boy. Thanks so much for your answers! Best wishes 2U

[Opinion Owner]

Good deal. The one thing people forget is when we stay in dysfunctional situations we keep ourselves from being available for the person who will appreciate us and treat us well. I am glad to hear you found someone like that!

[bennynthejets]

FWB says it all...what are you expecting him to say? Just leave well enough alone and don't worry about the little things and minor details...

[Asker]

I'm sorry, I'm not sure what you mean by your reply. Can you please explain some more.

Thanks a bunch!

[bennynthejets]

He is a FWB. And you want him to say things other than he is saying? I wouldn't worry about what he says. Actions speak louder than words. Some people don't like to put into words adn talk about their personal life. I was just trying to show you that it isn't weird that a FWB says these things.

[Asker]

Ok, that cleared it up for me. Thanks a bunch! I appreciate your answer! I was thinking maybe I was getting confused over nothing but then again I haven't been able to talk with him since I heard about the comments he had made to our friend.

[somedude555]

id say he's just tryin to make himself sound like a badass.

[Asker]

Yeah I'd agree with you. I had to make him look like a dumbass though when I had to let him know I had become pregnant by him though. Then all of a sudden he began singing a whole new song and dance. Then he cried like a little baby when I told him after 9 weeks of pregnancy, I lost the baby. He apologized over and over again telling me, "Babygirl, I'm sorry you lost our baby! I don't wanna lose you or your friendship." I looked him in the eyes and said, "as the pregnancy ended, friendship does2

[somedude555]

...thats a little harsh

[Asker]

I had to go through a lot when I told him I was pregnant by him and he just totally treated me like dirt. I even told him that I didn't expect him to change anything between us other than he should be as awesome of a Dad to our baby as he is to his other child. He ignored me and talked smack about me and that's what caused me to lose our baby. He didn't truly care about me and he proved it many times over. I don't think I was harsh as he's the one who turned his back on me and our baby.

[Asker]

He again proved he could care less about me on monday when I showed up to get him to go our for lunch like we'd been planning since Friday and he began cussing me out and calling me all kinds of names all because he'd been up for 4 days on a drug binge knowing he was going back to jail today. So I again told him I'm through with him when I'm doing something nice for him and he is treating me horrible. He treats people who trash him like kings and queens but me who treats him like a king is disse

[somedude555]

Ah... yea it sounds like this dude has a sh*tload of problems... I'm sorry that you lost the baby though, I know what its like, my moms had several miscarriages, its tough for me and its not even my child.

[Asker]

Thanks! Yeah I know this dude has a whole bunch of problems. But I can't allow him to continue crushing me like he does when I'm truly just being his friend now. After the pregnancy, I ended the FWB situation with him. He then went to jail today and he tried to call me tonight after being a rude ass to me on Monday and I told him to never call me again or never come to my place again as I'm done with him. He choses people who talk smack about him and use him over someone who cared for him truly

[Anonymous]

He just doesn't want his friends to know, if he wanted out he'd probably tell you.

[Asker]

I have ended the whole deal with him, friendship and all. I demand more respect than he cared to show me. I didn't need for him to drag me down in every sense of the word.

He would tell so many of his friends that we were hooking up but then some of them he wouldn't tell and he wouldn't be nice about me when he was asked. So, he wanted to play that immature game, I walked away, I deserve to be respected even by my FWB.

[eli12795]

FWB means- friends with benefits.

[Asker]

Thank you, I know what FWB meant. Just was trying to clear up what he meant with things he said. Which now it doesn't matter as I have ended the friendship with him totally and he's never going to have my friendship back or the FWB.

[lovecrazed]

Friends with benefits

[Asker]

I knew what FWB means. I was asking what he meant by things he said. Thanks though :-)

[rakar]

a guy you f***