My boyfriend in law school is too busy to see/text me. Shall I move on?

[aiciline]

My boyfriend and I have been dating for about a year. We met in college and had really fun time being together. Now I am in my final year and he is in 1L.

While I totally understand that he is extremely busy, I have been paranoid about whether our relationship is going anywhere. We text each other a couple of times in a week and hang out maybe two to three times in a month. I feel I take too much initiative these days because I am always the one to accommodate his time or initiate new dates.

I talked to him on this and he said he could not manage so many things (work, interview, reading, cases, critics etc) at a time. But he did like me therefore he tried to make time for me. And he seldom makes promises or says sweet things (He is INTJ and philosophy major), therefore makes me feel even more insecure. And he replies my texts only during mid nights.

I think Law school and himself is his universe. I interned as a banker and worked 100+ hours a week, yet still had a couple of hours a week to hang out. Do law school students really that BUSY? Or it is just him not willing to make more time for me or put me into his priority? I like him a lot but I almost cannot control myself from "thinking too much". Shall I move on?

Thanks in advance for your kindly advice!

Updates

+1 y

Thank you for all the great answers. As I mentioned, we did talk about this and he said he understood and he did make time for me out of his busy schedule and that was all he could do. But honesty, I am not able to handle a relationship that allows me to see him only twice at late nights in a month.
I will work this June, maybe when we all get busy, I can stop caring overly much.

[Anonymous]

I don't think that you should bug him anymore because he already know how you feel and you know that he is really busy. If you keep bugging him about it you he will get tired it. I did the same exact thing to my boyfriend because he was super busy all the time with work and I would always question the relationship and where I fit into his life and he would always tell me he wanted to be with me until I asked him again and he was tired of it and he broke up with me.

Your boyfriend has his hands full and he will most likely not have time for you at all because law school is a lot of work and right now he is focused on school, and once he is finished with school he is going to be even more busy so you either have to accept it and appreciate the time you do have when your with him, but if you cannot handle it you may have to break up with him but that is up to you.

[aiciline]

I think you are completely correct. I am fine with being independent and I accept him to put work over me. But if this is only getting worse, I may not be able to handle it. The only good news is that I am going to become a banker... So at least I will be as busy as him... Two pathetic robots.

[Opinion Owner]

I know it sucks because you just want to spend time with him. I felt exactly the same way I would always think to myself why am I in a relationship and I rarely see my boyfriend and he got to where he was texting and calling me less and I had to do something about it because the distance was driving me crazy.

Maybe bring it up in a different way like ask him when he will have a little free time so that you guys could spend the day together, but if he can't even make anytime for you then I don't see how it would work out. Does he text or call you often?

[aiciline]

I want to give you a big hug. He does make time for me if I ask him to go out. But I have to really control myself from not asking him too often. And he doesn't call me often, it is always me texting him first, because I think it is not going to work if we don't speak to each other for weeks. It definitely sucks because on one hand, the dates have been great and I enjoyed my time being with him. On the other hand I feel he controlled my emotion as I cannot get truly satisfied and always want more.

[HeadOVerHeels907]

No, talk to him. I would be heartbroke if i were in his shoes and u moved on

[BigBlack615]

I would definitely talk to him and layout all your feelings to him. You said you're were a banker working 100 hours a week so I'm sure you understand what his life and schedule feels like. Law school and y'all can get through it with patience, communication, trust, and support.

[Anonymous]

When you enter a new relationship, you're signing a document that says you know what you're going in to. You knew you were going in to a relationship with a man who might not have time for one... if you can't do it, opt out, you have the option

[aiciline]

I knew the relationship was going to be tough. I was expecting to meet him maybe once in a week. But now we talk/meet much less than I expected as his school life gets more intense. I will try to manage this... Thank you!

[matheus_mb]

I think you shouldn't do anything before telling him exactly what you told us here. Make things clear, this will make him think and maybe reorganize his priorities or make more efforts for the sake of your relationship.

[HumbleTeddy]

No offense but you sound a bit clingy. If he's truly busy, why are you preassuring him to spend time with you? If you'd like to know if there's a future between the two of you, why not just ask him?

[aiciline]

Thanks Teddy, I tried my best... I never disturb him while he is working. I travel down to see him instead of making him come to me. I am fine with him not replying my texts/emails immediately, I completely leave him alone for 4 weeks during final weeks. I am also fine with not going out for dates but spending time at his or my apartment because it saves his time. How much more trust/space can I offer...