How do I get my boyfriend to forgive me?

I met my boyfriend David and our friend Rob on the same night. I was instantly into David and we started dating. I became good friends with Rob as well. Rob was interested in a friend of mine so, we planned a double date. The night before our double date Rob went out drinking and called me around 4am to find out what time we were getting together. I said I wasn't sure, that I hadn't talked to David or Rachele yet. He then mentioned he was locked out of his house. Feeling bad for Rob I told him to come crash on my couch. The next day I text David to let him know that Rob had crashed on my couch because it was completely innocent and I had nothing to hide. I have three roommates, all of them were home and saw that Rob slept on the couch alone. Apparently Rob had tried to get a hold of David earlier in the night but, David had fallen asleep. Rob got mad and text David "f*** you we are not friends" at about 3am. I didn't know Rob had sent David that text. When David didn't text me back I asked him if he was mad. He text me " Rob text me last night and said f*** you we are not friends. Then you text me that he stayed at your house. Cute Really. I don't get mad. I'm just over it. Period." I was shocked. I tried texting and calling him about ten times that day. He wouldn't answer or respond. He deleted both Rob and I from his Facebook friends and won't answer when either of us call or text. I tried to explain that nothing happened and that I am sorry he is upset. I also set a long Facebook message trying to explain the whole thing. Today an "I'm sorry" bear is being delivered to his work. We've only been dating a little over a month but, I adore him and want to work it out. What do I do? Should I send a message to his best friend Harlan to have Harlan try to get him to talk to me?

Nine people have looked at this and no one has answered :( Please help me!
He text me Wednesday after receiving the apology present saying that I didn't have to do that and that he knows I care. That he isn't worth it but, thanks. I text him back saying that I was sorry, that nothing happened, that I wanted to straighten it out.
He text me and said we could talk, but not that night because he has to work. I text him ok, have a nice night at work.
Thursday, I sent him a funny forward that I thought he would like. He didn't respond. Friday, I text him saying I wasn't working this weekend so he could call me whenever. He never text or called.

Today, I tried to call him. He didn't answer so I text him "You win". He text back "Win Huh?" I said yes, you won't talk to me sooo...
He said he did want to talk but, he wasn't sure it would change anything because you can't change a person or the past. I tried to call again but, he text and said he couldn't talk.
I text him hours later saying I didn't want to give up on him/us but, he wasn't giving me much hope. He text back and said "At best we can try to be friends right now...I need my space...I'm not going anywhere. try to make yourself happy. not me.
I said OK. That he knows where to find me, that I was going to stop trying, and the ball is in his court. He didn't respond...What do I do? I want him back! Please help!


Most Helpful Girl

  • I was in a similar situation with a guy I dated once. Apparently, he was a very hard-headed fella when it came to things like that lol. We argued about it several times over the course of the time we dated. Obviously, you did nothing wrong other than being a friend to one of his buddies. Unfortunately, you had no idea that Rob sent such a hateful message to his buddy before he contacted you, and he probably sent it because he was drunk and being stupid when David wouldn't answer. Right now, you've done everything you needed to do to fix the situation. You've apologized, explained what happened, and you want to make ammends. The only downfall is that it is up to David to meet your efforts halfway. What I had to do with the guy I dated was send him an email explaining what happened and that I had plenty of people that would vouch for it, and then I just let it be. I know that is going to be the hardest part, especially if you really like this guy. You could go ahead and shoot his best buddy a message and explain to him what happened. Don't beg him to talk to David for you (the last thing any guy wants is to be brought into drama), but simply tell him what happened and that you have tried to explain things to David and apologized for anything that you may have done to offend him (even though you didn't know about the message). Tell Harlan that you really like David and have feelings for him and you wanted to know that if he happens to speak to David, or see him in the near future if he would let him know that you didn't mean to do anything to hurt him, and if you would have known about the message you would have never helped Rob out. Then leave it at that for awhile. Give David some time to deal with the anger he has about the situation and the space he needs to handle it. In about a week, try texting or messaging him to see how he is doing and apologize again, saying that you would have never done it if you had known. The longest it ever took me to get a response was a week, but it usually didn't last a few days- he just needed space to calm down.


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What Guys Said 2

  • Honestly these girls are being too harsh on your boyfriend telling you he's playing hard to get and crap, bs. You need to give him his space and time to cool down and then after a couple of days call him ask if we could meet and talk. Text him goodnight or something short and sweet to let him know you care and he'll eventually get over it. Just give him some space


  • "Apparently Rob had tried to get a hold of David earlier in the night but, David had fallen asleep. Rob got mad and text David 'f*** you we are not friends' at about 3am."

    Why was Rob mad? Rob was the one who slept on the couch...


What Girls Said 4

  • Okay, I have seen this happen before...The problem is, he feels betrayed...If the shoe was on the other foot and your girlfriend...or ex-girlfriend text you and said " f*** you we are not friends" then stayed at your boyfriends house...exactly how would you feel...I'm thinking not too great. I would plan a lunch meeting...or maybe show up where you know he will be in order to state your concerns, and how you did not know that Rob and him had a falling out. Forget the texting...It never shows the real emotions in your words better than speaking them yourself. When you talk to him though you must let him know that you are hoping he will give you two another chance (do not beg...Guys like to chase things it is part of their nature)...Then leave in a dignified way...(guys love girls that have confidence...Not a needy person) just let him know you will let him decide, and if you never hear from him again, then he may have just wanted to be a drama king in order to split up with you. Do not be too clingy in a new relationship...go about your business and he may want you back...if your friends see you out and about like your life has not ended and you are happy...he may rethink things. But if you are sad and constantly talking about it, trust me word gets around and you will push him away for good. Good Luck!

  • All you can do at this point is kick back and wait for him to come back. If he doesn't do it on his own it wouldn't be worth it I promise you. A guy always knows what he wants, even if it takes him forever to figure it out. If he trully wants to be with you he will come back on his own. JUst don't date anybody else. Don't blow up his phone anymore let him blow up your phone. If he text you. something stupid like you win call him don't text him back. If he doesn't answer the phone then text him back ask him to met you somewhere and talk to him face to face. not over the phone, because they can easily not answer back or avoid a question. If he doesn't met with you then move on cause he either has his head up you know what that he couldn't let it go or he doesn't really want you. Hope this helps. Now if he starts dating someone else move on it a lose cause.

  • He is sooo mean.. he is playing hard to get, I think... I mean, that's just plain rude.. I mean its obvious he is enjoying your attention hear... I think you should wait for a bit more without doing anything... if nothing happens(he doesn't agree to talk), burst in his house and cry and hug him.. and if he tries to push you, slap him and tell him, no you listen first... I didn't do anything and you are so stupid to think I did.. what is wrong with you? And cry adn kiss him if you want... really romantic...

    • Bursting into a man's house, crying, forcing kisses, and slapping him is NOT going to get a point across. All it's going to do is SCARE him and encourage him to get new locks and a restraining order.

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    • Nah. stuff like that happens in movies. don't , if he's not a total weirdo it'd freak him out.

    • It works if the guy is desperately in love with you.....

  • Move-onHow ! if he wants you he"ll move mountains to find you. By then you will find maturity! Something him and his friend do not have! Sounds like his friend set it all up! who calls at 4am if its not for a booty-call!