I met my boyfriend David and our friend Rob on the same night. I was instantly into David and we started dating. I became good friends with Rob as well. Rob was interested in a friend of mine so, we planned a double date. The night before our double date Rob went out drinking and called me around 4am to find out what time we were getting together. I said I wasn't sure, that I hadn't talked to David or Rachele yet. He then mentioned he was locked out of his house. Feeling bad for Rob I told him to come crash on my couch. The next day I text David to let him know that Rob had crashed on my couch because it was completely innocent and I had nothing to hide. I have three roommates, all of them were home and saw that Rob slept on the couch alone. Apparently Rob had tried to get a hold of David earlier in the night but, David had fallen asleep. Rob got mad and text David "f*** you we are not friends" at about 3am. I didn't know Rob had sent David that text. When David didn't text me back I asked him if he was mad. He text me " Rob text me last night and said f*** you we are not friends. Then you text me that he stayed at your house. Cute Really. I don't get mad. I'm just over it. Period." I was shocked. I tried texting and calling him about ten times that day. He wouldn't answer or respond. He deleted both Rob and I from his Facebook friends and won't answer when either of us call or text. I tried to explain that nothing happened and that I am sorry he is upset. I also set a long Facebook message trying to explain the whole thing. Today an "I'm sorry" bear is being delivered to his work. We've only been dating a little over a month but, I adore him and want to work it out. What do I do? Should I send a message to his best friend Harlan to have Harlan try to get him to talk to me?
Most Helpful Girl
I was in a similar situation with a guy I dated once. Apparently, he was a very hard-headed fella when it came to things like that lol. We argued about it several times over the course of the time we dated. Obviously, you did nothing wrong other than being a friend to one of his buddies. Unfortunately, you had no idea that Rob sent such a hateful message to his buddy before he contacted you, and he probably sent it because he was drunk and being stupid when David wouldn't answer. Right now, you've done everything you needed to do to fix the situation. You've apologized, explained what happened, and you want to make ammends. The only downfall is that it is up to David to meet your efforts halfway. What I had to do with the guy I dated was send him an email explaining what happened and that I had plenty of people that would vouch for it, and then I just let it be. I know that is going to be the hardest part, especially if you really like this guy. You could go ahead and shoot his best buddy a message and explain to him what happened. Don't beg him to talk to David for you (the last thing any guy wants is to be brought into drama), but simply tell him what happened and that you have tried to explain things to David and apologized for anything that you may have done to offend him (even though you didn't know about the message). Tell Harlan that you really like David and have feelings for him and you wanted to know that if he happens to speak to David, or see him in the near future if he would let him know that you didn't mean to do anything to hurt him, and if you would have known about the message you would have never helped Rob out. Then leave it at that for awhile. Give David some time to deal with the anger he has about the situation and the space he needs to handle it. In about a week, try texting or messaging him to see how he is doing and apologize again, saying that you would have never done it if you had known. The longest it ever took me to get a response was a week, but it usually didn't last a few days- he just needed space to calm down.