I recently asked a question about the fact that my boyfriend masturbates too often and how it affects our sex life --- > link .
I understand that it's a normal part of life; when it's not excessive and not out of place (he masturbates everyday, even before he is going to see me). I was getting answers to my question like "you're a control freak" and "you have no place to tell him not to masturbate". I understand these answers and I know I can't tell him to stop, but when this behaviour becomes a problem, I think there needs to be a bit of an intervention. I feel guilty and upset that I feel this way, and I wish that I didn't. I worked up the courage to confront him about it, and we had a short talk, trying not to point fingers. It became a bit of a fight, just not as intense. I have an issue with the fact that he doesn't kiss me, I really like kisses. I asked him what would happen if he stopped masturbating, and he said that he would definately want to kiss me more. This didn't make me feel any better. I don't like to know that his act of masturbation is the cause of a lack of passion in our sex life. He sees sex in the pornographic matter - there's no sensuality or foreplay... ever. We had sex recently, and I couldn't make him ejaculate because he had already masturbated that morning. It's really starting to bother me, it never did before. I feel guilty to feel this way. I feel like it's a form of cheating, and I know it isn't but for some reason it hurts my feelings. I'm not mad at him for it, it just breaks my heart to know he's jerking off to some girl on the internet, thinking about her and stuff and then when it comes to having our sex he's too used to masturbating and can't last and if he does, his erection goes limp.
Is it really all that wrong of me to feel this way? He said he's going to try cut down, but I feel so bad for acting like a nag and a "control freak".
I understand that it's a normal part of life; when it's not excessive and not out of place (he masturbates everyday, even before he is going to see me). I was getting answers to my question like "you're a control freak" and "you have no place to tell him not to masturbate". I understand these answers and I know I can't tell him to stop, but when this behaviour becomes a problem, I think there needs to be a bit of an intervention. I feel guilty and upset that I feel this way, and I wish that I didn't. I worked up the courage to confront him about it, and we had a short talk, trying not to point fingers. It became a bit of a fight, just not as intense. I have an issue with the fact that he doesn't kiss me, I really like kisses. I asked him what would happen if he stopped masturbating, and he said that he would definately want to kiss me more. This didn't make me feel any better. I don't like to know that his act of masturbation is the cause of a lack of passion in our sex life. He sees sex in the pornographic matter - there's no sensuality or foreplay... ever. We had sex recently, and I couldn't make him ejaculate because he had already masturbated that morning. It's really starting to bother me, it never did before. I feel guilty to feel this way. I feel like it's a form of cheating, and I know it isn't but for some reason it hurts my feelings. I'm not mad at him for it, it just breaks my heart to know he's jerking off to some girl on the internet, thinking about her and stuff and then when it comes to having our sex he's too used to masturbating and can't last and if he does, his erection goes limp.
Is it really all that wrong of me to feel this way? He said he's going to try cut down, but I feel so bad for acting like a nag and a "control freak".
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