So I've been talking to both my guy and girl friends about this.
All the girls of course seem to stick to what they want to believe. If a guy chases you, it means he really likes you. That if a guy really likes you, then he's willing to chase after you and do whatever it takes. Please, don't spam the responses with how this is largely more what we want to believe and tell ourselves rather than how things are. I get it.
Nearly all the guys I've asked have told me the same thing. That the only reason a guy would chase a girl is if he's either desperate for female attention, or if he just wants sex. He's willing to do anything to get what he wants, and what he wants isn't her, but just sex. But if a guy really likes a girl, then the last thing he wants to do is chase. If he really likes her and wants something long-term with her, then by chasing, he's basically accepting an unbalanced frame in the future relationship where he wants her more than she wants him, where he's almost begging her for her to like him, where he's waiting on her for her approval and acceptance. If a guy was serious about a girl he really liked, he wouldn't want to give over that control and power and enter into an unbalanced relationship. So his self-respect and dignity tells him to stop when a girl does or says something that shows him she wants him to chase her. But if he doesn't want anything to do with her in the future, then he doesn't care about such things, so he'll freely just toss away his self-respect and dignity and just chase, because he doesn't view it as entering into an unbalanced relationship but as getting one step closer to just having sex.
It's a really good point that I guess I've never considered before.
Guys?
All the girls of course seem to stick to what they want to believe. If a guy chases you, it means he really likes you. That if a guy really likes you, then he's willing to chase after you and do whatever it takes. Please, don't spam the responses with how this is largely more what we want to believe and tell ourselves rather than how things are. I get it.
Nearly all the guys I've asked have told me the same thing. That the only reason a guy would chase a girl is if he's either desperate for female attention, or if he just wants sex. He's willing to do anything to get what he wants, and what he wants isn't her, but just sex. But if a guy really likes a girl, then the last thing he wants to do is chase. If he really likes her and wants something long-term with her, then by chasing, he's basically accepting an unbalanced frame in the future relationship where he wants her more than she wants him, where he's almost begging her for her to like him, where he's waiting on her for her approval and acceptance. If a guy was serious about a girl he really liked, he wouldn't want to give over that control and power and enter into an unbalanced relationship. So his self-respect and dignity tells him to stop when a girl does or says something that shows him she wants him to chase her. But if he doesn't want anything to do with her in the future, then he doesn't care about such things, so he'll freely just toss away his self-respect and dignity and just chase, because he doesn't view it as entering into an unbalanced relationship but as getting one step closer to just having sex.
It's a really good point that I guess I've never considered before.
Guys?
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