Why do guys disrespect girls so much? My boyfriend won't stop calling me a bitch. What do I do?

Question

I have been with my boyfriend for three years now. He's called me a bitch about 1000 times. For anything. I called him when he had one percent and he said "you really have to be a bitch and call me?" I'm so sick of it. He doesn't take me seriously when I say I'll end it if he doesn't stop then he says he will and then another day comes and  gets mad and calls me it again. And sometimes when I tell him he needs to stop or I'll leave he says he doesn't care. I know I shouldn't put up with this disrespect but I don't know why I keep letting him get away with it. He calls me so many others names as well. He had anger problems. He has broke my closet and the little radio screen in my car. I'm just so sick of the disrespect. I know I deserve better but I don't know why I stay. He cheated on me two years ago and has never gained my trust back and gets mad when I get paranoid about him going out or who he's talking to on his phone. I'm dumb I should leave but I don't know. And one thing that keeps me with him is he gave me type one herpes. My doctor said its no big deal that so many people have it and don't know it but it's a big deal to me. I feel unhappy and stuck with him. Like nobody else will want me.

verd12w · Accepted Answer

Okay, your lack of trust while understandable can't be helping the relationship. As for the herpes, that's no reason to stay with him. Herpes is way overstigmatized. I think you can easily find someone who is actually educated on the subject or has it who would love to be with you. Or you could even do some educating yourself and help change the world for the better. As for the actual question, not all men are like that. To minimize your exposure to the word you can not be one, and not be with guys who call you one. You can also look into other approaches that have been taken to combat the demeaning usage of the word. There have been attempts to try to deal with the negative connotation, and while I feel these attempts are always worthwhile they aren't always particularly effective because it is hard to get a large enough portion of society to actual buy into the idea of a sort of rebranding. Like with the attempts to combat slut shaming by lessening the negative connotation of the word. Sure it worked in a couple small communities, but overall, slut shaming is still a huge problem. I guess to change the world everyone has to do their part.

seby1607 · Accepted Answer

Wow... When I read the update you wrote that you broke up I felt really sorry for you for what he has said and done to you. He needs to learn before he is in a new relationship what a relationship IS, because appareantely he doesn't quite get that a relationship is something where you need to love each other. I think he needs to learn a lot before he is in a relationsip. I would never call my girlfriend a "bitch", since I would love her too much to call her that kind of thing. He needs to learn that not only hime but also the other partner needs to be happy in the relationship and that that person matters as well.

KiyannA · Accepted Answer

You should ask yourself why do you let yoursekf disrespected? Where did the lack of love you need for yourself came from? is it daddy issues? mummy issues? You need to figure that out to not let things happen agaib because its the only way to break the pattern , surround yourself by positive people , people who will be there for you because you need strengh when ull leave and more to stay away from him , the only way to feel happy again is to fly away we were all scared when we got out of our mothers but hey we made it but so will u this time. Good luck !!! be strong u can do it

Sara413 · Accepted Answer

I'm glad to read the update that you broke up. Keep it that way. He sounds awful and the way he talks to you and treats you, it's not long before he starts to phsyically control and abuse you. As for the herpes thing, I know it sucks and it's scary to try dating with something like that going on, but try not to lose faith. There are actually dating website specifically for people who suffer from noncurable STIs like that. I know because a guy I used to date got herpes (after I dated him) and that's how he found his current GF.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

You are in an abusive relationship. There's lots of theories about why people stay when they know they should leave. Fear, and addiction top the list. Addiction to the way he treats you.
Leave. Leave now. Break up with him today. Do it when you are far away from him. Do it over text. If you don't leave now it will get worse and worse and worse. Do it where he can't hurt you. He will. I promise. Not everyone guy will disrespect you like that. Leave him and find a better boyfriend.

Megmilli · Answer

You have the definition of an abusive relationship- I can't imagine it gets much worse than that, and how much more are you going to take- 'till he starts getting physical. And everyone deserves happiness. I'm sure you're not ugly, but even ugly people have people that love them, so why wouldn't you? You need to leave that relationship ASAP! Before you talk to him though you need to go into it prepared- know what you'll do if he says certain things, maybe even have a friend there to back you up. And if your nervous you can read about other people who left abusive relationships and have found happiness- many people had your mindset, but when they finally cut them off, they were finally able to find true happiness and never looked back- please be one of those success stories, and find your own happiness. I wish you the best of luck:)

Prettygurl12 · Answer

Let's make a tally.

Good

Bad
- Calls you a bitch
- Cheated
- Gave you herpes
- Abusive
- Physical violence
- Disrespectful

Hmmm... did anyone read anything good in that post? 'Cause I got nothing.

Leave him.

pr3ttybr0wn · Answer

He doesn't take you seriously when you say you'll end it because you let him keep doing it without ending it. Case in point: you're still his girlfriend now after he's called you a bitch how many times? If you stay with him then you can't complain about the way you're treated because you are allowing it to happen. You know how many people have herpes? You ain't the only one so why do you feel like you have to stay and be abused because you have it? Leave before he cheats on you again and gives you AIDS.

tyber1 · Answer

You should definitely leave, it may be hard to find someone else you're compatible with who also has type one herpes but it's better than being with someone who is abusive. Bad love isn't better than no love. And he has no right to get pissed off for getting paranoid, considering that he actually has cheated before it's not unreasonable to be worried it could happen again.

Anonymous · Answer

I say leave him for a couple of weeks or so ignore him no phone calls or text or Facebook or anything , cause he will try his best to get in touch with you just let him think your serious and no matter what goes on or happen nothing will make you stay no matter what because you deserve better, if you want to go back you can I'm not saying no but what I am saying is show you will leave and make it believe able and demand some changes and lie and tell him it will be permeate if nothing changes , two weeks should be ok then go back afterwards but only when he contact you , at least I think , if you don't want to because of circumstances at Least make him think you will leave by breaking up with him for two weeks but don't let him know

Hannah591 · Answer

Good riddance! He sounds like a horrible bully! Don't EVER go back to him. He's not the one for you or anyone. I'm glad you left. It's the best thing you could've done. If he comes back to you begging for you back and saying he'll change, DO NOT believe him. He'd be lying and manipulating you, he will never change, it's who he is. Time heals everything, you'll get through this. Good luck.

ManThatKnewTooMuch · Answer

If that many people have herpes then hold out for some dude that also already has it. I was on Plenty of Fish and there was a girl there who openly admitted it. I mean she blurred her face in the pics but I could tell she was cute and she was obviously looking for somebody. I mean, If I already had it I wouldn't hesitate.

tasten_honey · Answer

I think u should stay and wait until he gives you AIDS, if you think no on wants u now, just wait till that happens. Type one herp is treatable and you just have to be cautious. .. don't wait to get a death sentence from that asshole I'm sure there's others that will date you

justwannatalk · Answer

Stop saying you know you should leave. If you know, then leave. Actions speak louder than words.

Bigbarrington · Answer

Your doc. Is right, it's really not that big of a deal. I know at least 45% of my high school has type one herpes ( I go to a high school with 1200 students) so u really shouldn't worry and get out of the relationship before he hurts you. Lots of times, guys will go to the next level if nothing has deterred them from changing their current habits

Juspham · Answer

You shouldn't stay with him. Do you want to be miserable for the rest of your life? Break up with him before he starts beatting you. There are plenty of good guys out there that would love to be with you.

RationalMale · Answer

For one, I'd have broken up with and taken revenge on anyone who gave me herpes.

For two, a lot of guys learn that to a degree, being a bit of an ass to a girl helps make dating easier.

For three, he just sounds like trash.

For four, what sort of girl are you if you're even dating this guy? Water finds it's own level.

shadowlegend · Answer

You actually break-up with him and not just say you will. At the end of the day, if you choose to subject yourself to abusive behaviour, it's your own fault.

yourfriendforever · Answer

Seriously?
It seems pretty clear that you need to get out of tjis relationship asap
Or at least never marry him
Else you know what your life could be like
And why I wad attracted towarda your question is to answer that not all guys are the same plzz dont ever stereotype plzz

Anonymous · Answer

leave. just leave.
you stay with him because despite knowing you should go, its scarier to leave. whats the saying? better the demon you know. not in this case.
your obviously not happy. there is no reason to stay with someone who makes you unhappy.

CreepyOldMan · Answer

This made me a little sad to hear. I hope I can give you a little encouragement during this season of trial.

Just1n123 · Answer

Not all guys do that lol but yeah you should leave him and never go back!

lemonlimetime · Answer

You literally said do you were unhappy with him. To me you don't date a person you're miserable with. Just leave him because you don't seem like you're benefiting from this what so ever. Good luck ;)

Random_chick_2384 · Answer

Dump him. He is a loser and u need better. No girl deserved to be called a bitch

Lord-Sweetie · Answer

Leave him. You can do way better. You deserve someone that doesn't disrespect you.

Why do guys disrespect girls so much? My boyfriend won't stop calling me a bitch. What do I do?

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Why do guys disrespect girls so much? My boyfriend won't stop calling me a bitch. What do I do?

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