Is it disrespectful for my girlfriend to wear clothes that are very revealing?

[Thatguy3863]

Before anyone thinks I'm being controlling please read the entire post.

My girlfriend is going to New Orleans for a bachelorette trip this weekend. She asked me to give my opinion on the dresses she planned to wear during the trip. She finally settled on one she liked and had every intention of going out to bars on Bourbon street in it. The problem is that it left nothing to the imagination. In the center of the front there is a cut held together by some see through material. It goes down to just above the naval and out to side almost to her nipples. You can basically see everything. It's not the type of dress you wear a bra with. I have never said anything about how she dresses. She wears short shorts and low cut tops sometimes and I'm perfectly fine with that. But this dress shows basically everything. I told her I would be cool with her wearing it and going out with me, but to go out of town partying in something like that is going to get the wrong sort of attention for someone in w committed relationship.

So, I asked her if we were out and saw another girl wearing the same dress and I looked would she care. She said she would be pissed. So, then I asked her why is ok for her to go out in something that will have guys looking at her. I'm not trying to be jealous, but I think some things should be left for our eyes only. She wouldn't be cool with my sporting a speedo on the beach while she wasn't around. Anyway, she agreed not to wear the dress resentfully, but said that I was lecturing her. I went on about it for a while, but only because she kept making excuses for why it was ok even though she said she wouldn't be ok with me doing something similar.

Any thoughts on this?

[BarbaraP]

Well, obviously it is disrespectful to be wearing dresses that make you look like you wanna get men's attention while you have a boyfriend waiting for you at home. Actually she should be happy that her boyfriend doesn't want other men to check on her while he's not around... shows that you care for her (in my opinion).
She's being hypocritical, but it's very important that she accepted not to wear that particular thing. It might also be that she understood your point but keeps whining about it just because she really liked the dress or she's a little stubborn/indipendent.
Anyway some girls like to feel sexy, even when in a relationship, but their intentions don't go further.
I wouldn't say what happened is such a bad thing honestly.

[Thatguy3863]

She is extremely independent. Most of the time I like it. Times like these I absolutely hate it.

[BarbaraP]

Oh well, that side of her was showing then... that's how she is. But relationships are also about compromising and even though she's indipendent it looks like she compromised pretty good.

[Thatguy3863]

She agreed not to wear it, but now she's pissed at me. Still a crappy trade off.

[cheer4life9393]

I wear revealing clothes only because I know my bf is ok with it, but I make sure I never look sluty wearing anything. Plus I make sure its appropriate whenever we go somewhere. I wouldn't want to be in a crop top and booty shorts around his grandparents haha

[Thatguy3863]

That's the thing. She didn't ask if I would be ok with it. She just decided. It seemed like she wanted the attention.

[cheer4life9393]

If she wants attention then she will surly find it, and not in the best ways. If I were you I would just say that you don't want to come off as being controlling, but it would be nice if you didn't have to be so revealing all the time. I don't know I usually I ask my bf if I should wear something just so he feels like he has a say so. Plus I honor his opinion

[Thatguy3863]

Yep. I felt cut out and disrespected and like she is holding a double standard.

[Taywallee16]

I wouldn't wear something my boyfriend didn't want me to within reason. But from your description of the dress I think you are within reason. I don't think I would even buy something like that if I had a boyfriend.

[Thatguy3863]

As I said, she wears short shorts and low cut shirts from time to time and I never complain. This dress showed basically everything.

[Taywallee16]

I don't blame you. I wouldn't want my boyfriend to wear something equal to that without me around

[kambo_trick3y]

Dump the dumb bitch.

Wearing the dress is fine, she can wear what she wants. But being a hypocrite is NOT cool. And the fact that she openly admitted that she wouldn't like it if a girl walked by you while wearing the same dress shows you that she doesn't think her actions all the way through. She doesn't bother to mentally switch places with you.

[miserybusiness]

Uhhhhh... dumping someone because of a little argument seems a bit overboard, don't you think? Couples have the occasional lover's quarrel, which may or may not seem pretty ridiculous. If you dump someone for something as small as this, you'd be single forever lololol.

[kambo_trick3y]

@miserybusiness.

Yeah, you're probably right actually.

Still, the fact that she's THAT blindsighted is a big red flag to me. I wouldn't break up, but I would be VERY careful.

[Thatguy3863]

No need to call her a bitch, dude. It's not like she set my car on fire.

But yeah. Red flag for sure.

[kambo_trick3y]

My apologies. I have a very... coarse verbiage.

[miserybusiness]

Yep, agreed, you'd have every reason to be cautious.

[dudeman]

Id be one foot out the door one more red flag and im gone.

[Bandit74]

"asked her if we were out and saw another girl wearing the same dress and I looked would she care. She said she would be pissed. "

"She wouldn't be cool with my sporting a speedo on the beach while she wasn't around."

I think you're fine, she's being hypocritical.

[Sairapanda]

cos the media makes it out that girls can dress like sluts and thats equal rights when it isn't. At the end of the day if a girl has no respect for her own body then no one else will respect it. I keep my body for my boyfriends eyes just as I expect him to keep his for me :)

[Thatguy3863]

Agreed

[tzdc21]

It is disrespectful and I agree with you 100 percent. And the fact that she still is arguing with you to wear it is causing me to raise a suspicious eyebrow at her. A woman knows that her body will attract other men if she wears revealing clothing and because of that reason a woman who truly loves, admires, and respects her man would NEVER put him in that situation of discomfort.

[Anonymous]

She isn't wearing the dress. she isn't wearing it because you told her you didn't think it appropriate. Going on and on was unnecessary.

Keep in mind if you met her when she dressed this way you shouldn't ask her to stop dressing the way that caught your eye. A little hypocritical.

[Thatguy3863]

She's never dressed that way. That's why it was such a shock. I went on and on because she didn't care what my point of view was even though she said she would feel the same way if the roles were reversed.

[Opinion Owner]

Then why isn't she erasing it

[Opinion Owner]

Wearing

[Thatguy3863]

I think it was more out of capitulation rather than saying "Oh, I see and respect where your are coming from. I wouldn't like it either." It was "I wouldn't like you doing it, but I still think it's ok for me." That's why I said she was being resentful. She didn't agree not to out of respect. She agreed not to so I wouldn't say anything else.

[Opinion Owner]

Well them you already know the answer. Sometimes a little role reversal always helps.

[MeganLoves]

I think you need to be a man... and check out any girl you want, you don't need nobody's permission.

And I think it's ok for your gf to wear something like that to a bachelorette and you need to trust her

[Thatguy3863]

Trust is a bi product of respect. She's not showing any when she says it's ok for her to do something, but not me.

[miserybusiness]

I need to see this dress to formulate an accurate opinion.

Preferably with your girlfriend in it.

Hahaha no jk but for real, I can't tell if you're exaggerating or if she's being an inconsiderate, thoughtless brat.

[Thatguy3863]

I'm being unbiased. I know that i harped on it, but the description I have is literal. That's how it went down.

[miserybusiness]

does it look like this
www.polyvore.com/.../img-thing

if so, I'm on your side
either way, she's being thoughtless

[Thatguy3863]

Haha it's not that extreme, but imagine the same distance between the breasts cut down to the naval. Pretty much shows everything.

[miserybusiness]

UGH I know what kind of dress you're talking about, I haaaate those. They look horrid on everyone. Forget the hypocrisy, she should be lectured on having such a bad taste in fashion.

[RolandCuthbert]

Well, I was in a similar situation. But I have to admit, my girl wasn't like your lady. She didn't mind me looking at other women.

[thealphamaleishere]

Too revealing... yeah it honestly is. My advice is don't try and change her for a second. Move on and find someone who has a little more respect for herself and you

[RationalMale]

Better have her tested for STD's when she gets back, before you have sex again...

[Anonymous]

I would break up with her. She clearly wants to cheat on you.

[miserybusiness]

How on earth does wearing a skimpy dress equate to wanting to cheat

Dat logic,
or lack thereof

[Thatguy3863]

I don't know if she would go that far, but inviting attention is the first step. That's what bothers me.

[Opinion Owner]

Exactly, Asker.

[Anonymous]

sounds like she's a hypocrite