Boyfriend doesn't remember my number

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend doesn't remember my phone number after 10 months. The number is in his cellphone but his cell face is blank but you would think that he would memorize it. anyways yesterday he said he would call me back and he didn't so I called him and he said he didn't remember my number. What does that say about him? Also some days he can tell me how he feels other days he can't or won't. Why can't it be consistent? I have this feeling that I am just another chapter in his book

[AtomizerJr]

There are a few different issues here.

First, the fact that he doesn't remember your phone number is irrelevant. With most people using cell phones, few people can remember a specific number off the top of their heard. You're not 302-555-1234, you're speed dial 4 or "Mary" in the phone book. Expecting him to memorize your specific number, and spit it back out like it a was a question on a test, is unrealistic and insulting.

Second, he doesn't have to be consistent when he tells you what he feels. His feelings are *his* and you have *no* right to demand that he share them. As a general rule, people avoid sharing their feelings when they fear that their feelings aren't respected. "When she [Patricia Sun, a couples therapist] would sit with a couple and help the man to draw out and express his feelings, she found that the woman very often did not really want to know what the man felt. The woman just wanted some words about feelings that she could manipulate so as to create a sense of control over the situation." link

[Asker]

I don't demand that he tell me how feels. I tell him here and there that I love him but always tells yeah right. When he tells me that he loves me I know he means it. Perhaps the number is irrelevant-cuz I remember his. I am more open and communicate more then he does. Sometimes I would like to hear an input from him here and there instead of silence.

[Annette83]

I never remember anyone's number, no matter how long I've known it. I wouldn't worry about that part.

The other part sounds like it could be a problem. I guess I don't understand exactly what you mean. If there are certain subjects that he doesn't want to discuss, then I suggest figuring out what those are and asking him what the problem is. If you mean that he is moody, then do the same thing. Have a talk with him and tell him it bugs you so that you guys can start talking about how to fix things. If it is just that he seems like he loves you one day and hates you the next, then I would think about whether you really want to deal with him any more.

Good luck!

[felicia]

Agree with above. Remembering a mobile number doesn't mean anything. I've stopped remembering numbers ever since I got my first mobile phone!

It seems like you are saying that sometimes he says he loves you and you believe him and at other times he says "yeah right" if you say you love him? Maybe in those days he's generally in a bad mood, or he has been upset by something. Some people find it hard to express their feelings in general, maye he's one of them. I wouldn't read too much into it.

[TearsOfJoy]

There are days I can't even remember my cell phone number myself! Don't worry about it, we live in a world that doesn't demand us to remember such things anymore, so most of us don't! Next to that, most guys aren't really into the "talking about feelings" stuff. I think you're ok!

[Justbug87]

Cell phones Have changed the way remember thing because we no longer have to memorize numbers when we always have the number at our figure tips.

[Snorkledorf]

Well I don't even remember my own number, so... :D