When a guy says he wants "no drama"......

[Anonymous]

Guys say they love older women because there is no drama. I used to think that meant they liked a woman who has her act together and is level-headed, not coming with a bunch of emotional drama. Now I am beginning to suspect it means that they want a girl/woman who doesn't expect them to hang out, make plans or talk to them unless the guy is feeling it. I think some guys consider it drama for a woman to have expectations of them and their time.

I think no drama is another way of saying they want a casual deal, nothing more. But, you tell me...

[confusedgirl22]

I think it depends on the guy-it sounds like you have the wrong man to be honest!Some older women can be cougars-really rich and independent and that can attract younger guys who don't have their stuff together.Guys prob find that power attractive but ultimately emasculating! Wouldn't cougars be more into their career than love? Maybe that's why guys go for them.

Sorry for saying cougar-I cudnt think of a better word to describe what I meant. I'm not a guy so I don't really know-just givin my opinion lol! I think guys DO like older women because they are mature. But if a guy wants to be casual with a girl, let me tell u-he'll do that with any girl, young or old. Guys can mess girls around regardless of age. What you're describing just sounds like a booty call and or at the very most friends with benefits. Maybe you're right and they do want a casual thing-I don't know. But how young are these guys you're going for? I mean, it'll last for a while but wouldn't it just be a fling anyway? Say you're 46 and he's 25-what would you have to talk about? Take Madonna for example. Her guy is only 22!The same goes for older men-I like them admittedly but I would have absolutely nothing in common with a 50yr old guy. Age gaps are fine if there's less than 10yrs in difference. But after that its a dicey-I don't know it could work out grand but its not as likely.

[Asker]

Oh, this isn't one guy. And this is going on with friends too. A younger guy will feel he is mature and he loves a woman with no drama, but then you go out with them and, yes, you are right, they still try to act like they are all in to you when it really is more like a booty call. I cut it off at the pass as I will not go out with a guy at the last minute and I go on dates, not "hangout" at my place. It is just funny, not tragic.

[confusedgirl22]

I really don't see the appeal of younger guys when I'm older aside from sex tbh!And the guys prob want to pick up tips from you too.Most younger guys aren't mature despite what they may feel lol.Thats why I prefer guys bit older.A man himself once told me that if a man is 25,emotionally he's a 20yr old woman (subtract 5yrs).Maybe lower the age gap to only 30 plus.Younger guys don't want committment they do want sex and if it gets too serious, they dump the girl.My male friend strung this girl along

[Asker]

I am 46 so dating guys my age is hard because available guys are in short supply and a lot of guys let themselves go and come with crazy amounts of issues. I am fit, attractive and have a great career and after my divorce, am ready to do more traveling and just enjoy life (my ex-husband was a workaholic that never wanted to do anything). I only date younger guys that approach me and it isn't for the sex. They are just more fun and lighthearted, oh, and a lot more of them are available.

[Asker]

I would prefer to be with someone my age or even a guy in his 30's, but I don't know what the guys in their 30's are doing, probably married and having babies, because I only get approached by men older than me or guys in their 20's. I agree the best is to be with someone closer to your age but it is slim pickings, lol. No worries though, just thought I would give you some info. I would rather be single than put up with anyone of any age who is insincere.

[confusedgirl22]

Crap I need more room LOL. ok my friend strung this poor girl along for 11 months because the sex was great but dumped her because after a year it would be a serious relationship and he didn't want that. Some younger guys are really nice but they're usually bit wimpy.Maybe its just me but younger guys are usually wimpy/badboy. Its hard to find in between! Its good to aim for an avg looking/cute younger guy because they'll usually be nicer person whereas really hot younger guys are usually arrogant and know they can get anyone!Oh beware of charmers!I've liked so many guys with charm and they're nothing but trouble (ie badboys) lol

[Asker]

Yes, I dated 2 different guys who were 25 (yes, I know, huge age difference) and they were actually very intelligent, one was already successful, and they thought the world of me, but they were of the wimpy variety each in their own way. I did date one super hot guy, late 20's, but he was a turkey in general and way too into himself. I usually (my whole life) have never dated super hot guys, they are a headache for sure.

[confusedgirl22]

Well you sound like you've a lot going for you so persevere!I'm sure you'll find the right one!=)