My boyfriend keeps changing his mind about marriage and kids?

[chaii]

When my boyfriend and i had our 1year anniversary, we had a conversation on marrige and kids. Both agreed kids would come after marriage around our mid 20s to late.

Id ask him once a month to see if we are still on the same page. This April i asked him and he straight up changed on me.
He no longer wants kids, claims its too much work and he doesn't want to bring kids into a hotrible world. Also he wants yo be able to do things, "cant do anything if you have kids" is what he says

Then said he doesn't want to get married because its stressful.

I'm not sure what to think, i want to experience being a moyher and having a family. I want to get married and so on. With him..
I finally thought i found the one for me, he claims the same, but i dont want something like this to end us. I tell him maybe in A couple years his mind will change but eh, he says he doesn't know.. and he wants to stay together.

Any advice?

give it time

time to move on

Updates

+1 y

Just to put it out there, im 21 & he is 25 going on 26 this year.

I was not rushing, it was just the fact that he talked about it constantly Then out of the blue changed his mind.

The main reason i found out why he started to change was, an ex from 2 years ago came back in town.

He left , and claimed "everything changed when i saw her. I wanted to pursue a long relationship with you, but when i saw her my feelings came back. I dont know what i'm doing..

Updates

+1 y

My keyboard spazzed at the end.

" to make it clear, im 21 and he is 25 going on 26, i only asked him numerous times because i felt he wasn't being honest about a lot of things.
Marrige
Kids
Us
How he felt about me
In the end he admitted to it, his words (copy & paste) " i'm so sorry youmean so much to me and you know that. I wanted to pursue a long relationship with you i noticed that my feelings or you were changing. Then my ex came back, and i notoced i still had f

[Hannah591]

He's changing his mind because he doesn't truly know what he wants in life yet. He's still quite young and guys seem to freak out about deciding on serious commitments/decisions when they're young. If you don't want this to end you, don't talk about it or bring it up until you feel your relationship is getting more serious. Give it time and let him make his decision in his own time. Just enjoy your relationship for now and come to the serious decisions when it really matters.

If he still doesn't want marriage or kids when that time comes, then you'd have to move on because it's unfair to make someone sacrifice something for the other. If you don't have similar life goals, it won't work out in the long run.

[chaii]

Thank you for your reply. 😊

[RationalLioness]

1) Don't ask him this question continuously. If I'm a dude and my girl is asking me what it seems like EVERY time this same question, I would feel pressured. Don't do that.

2) Have a 6 month to 1 year plan. If during that time frame when you are allowed to ask him that question ONCE he does not change his attitude, I would think you two should be apart. I give that time frame because it is long enough for him to calm down, stop feeling pressured, and be honest.

Don't tell him of your arrangement either. This is something personal to keep to yourself.

[chaii]

I only ask once a month, for i always felt he was just agreeing. Like those guys that say "i like that too"to everything you like. But thank you for the advice (:

[RationalLioness]

You're welcome! And I know you ask only once a month, but I'm thinking he may FEEL that it's like every 3 weeks or something... haha.

[chaii]

You're right, never mind lol

[Eiffelgirl21]

he is probably annoyed that you ask him all the time. you shouldn't worry about this... you have been with him for only a year. This shouldn't really be on your mind the way it is. You should just let it go... until he actually proposes... or until you are like 25-26... or else you will really push him away.

[Whos_Asking]

You're 21, you can't really expect someone to know what they want so far down the road at that age.

[chaii]

True, but the fact that he has spoken about it then out of the blue changes his mind was a bit of a shock. Thank you for the reply (:

[Whos_Asking]

People change a lot between the ages of 18 and 30, even 20 and 25.

[PhoenixRisingDK]

Take a look around.
Honest hard working men are being taken every single day, for no other reason than 'dissatisfaction'.
Divorce rates are sky high, 80% is no-fault divorces and 75% of those are initiated by women.

A man has gotta be pretty damn sure he's with the right girl, before doing a fools rush-in.
Putting the squeeze on him is not going to help you, trust me.
You're still both very young, and so is your relationship... and marrying too young is NOT something you want to do.
Rushing it is probably the worst thing you can do.

[chaii]

I only asked multiple times because i felt he wasn't being honest about how he felt.(he never expressed his feelings In the end he finally admitted it, he just didn't want to believe it himself.

[chaii]

Thank you for the reply ☺

[PhoenixRisingDK]

You're welcome.

[singlebee]

You guys are still young... and just one year into relationship it's a scary thing to talk about marriage and especially children!!!
Slow it down... You are rushing it... Especially that check up to see if you are on the same page...

It might be that he is scared... Because of which he told you he doesn't want marriage and kids

[chaii]

We were friends for 2, its just the fact that he changed his mind on everything out of the blue. Please read the update. I appreciate your reply ☺

[bryon]

Well there is one thing for sure , you both can't have it your way. If you want to have kids it doesn't sound like it will be with him from what he says. What will happen if you become pregnant? Is he going to abandon you with the problem?

[chaii]

I asked him that, he claims he wouldn't leave BUT i'm not too sure about that. I asked if he wanted to break up, he doesn't want to he just thinks he is stressed out and can't think straight.. i appreciate ypur reply (:

[bryon]

Your welcome