How to know if someone want to be your friend or not?

I having a tough time reading this girl.

I known her for a couple months. The first time we met, she introduced herself to me and my friend in class. She is in two of my classes and only sit with me in one. She only calls me when she wants to talk about hw. She helped me when I call her about homework. She helped me with a favor before and she also bought me coffee for helping her. She seem friendly when I talk to her but she could just being nice like I am being nice to everyone.

Now this is where I get these little hints that tell me she doesn't want to be friends. I invited her to my birthday party and she said yes but then she said she couldn't make it on the night of the party (I could excuse this since some of my friends couldn't make it). I am ALWAYS the one who initiate the conversation on topics OTHER THAN hw and try to keep it going. We have short conversations. When we walk together, she always the first one to say "see you later" even though we headed the same way.

I don't want to be the person who can't take a hint.

What are your thoughts?

I don't think she is shy because she introduced herself to me and my friend. She is more talkative with other guys than to me. Is she less talkative to me because I am not talkative?
She drove me home one time because my bike got stolen. Is that what a friend would do or she is just returning a favor?

I am the type of person who help out others so I can't really tell.
Thank you for answering.

How can you tell if the person doesn't want to be friends or not?

I guess I could just ask her if I am a friend to her or just an acquaintance. How would I do that without it being awkward?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I can understand you feeling confused, it sounds to me like you are unhappy and have an idea of what you would like a friendship to be that she is not meeting.

    I feel that if you are not happy then you may need to accept that and find other friends with whom you feel at ease with. Decide what kind of realtionship you want, be specific about it to yourself and don't settle for less.

    Are you attracted to this girl, is that why you are clinging on to her when it seems she is happy whilst you are not? That sounds unbalanced to me and I feel it needs addressing. Have you tried having a conversation with her to tell her how you feel? That really is the only way you can find out if she feels the same way or not, she may understan how you feel and change her behaviour towards you.

    I would also not assume that she turned down your invitation because of you - we all have the right to change our minds don't we, don't you?

    Best of luck and love your way, I hope and trust you will find the relationships you want.

    • Report

      I am attracted to her but that's not the point. I just confused because she'll act like she wants to friend but then she'll act like she doesn't. She is really hard to read that is why I am confused.