He puts me on the back burner, what should I do?
My so-called "boyfriend" puts me on the back burner a lot. It seems like he only pulls through with planning with me when his buddies are not around or don't want to do anything in particular. This guy is your average Cali surfer who is "free-spirited. " As of last night, he canceled plans with me to be with his buddies because one came down unexpectedly and so, all of a sudden, something better than me came around so he took me out of his schedule. I was obviously upset, he apologized because he knew what he did was wrong, but still went through with it and asked to put our plans off for tonight. I reluctantly said yes. And he was worried if he angered me. Of course, I said no. But I'm still very disappointed. On other days, we wouldn't have to have had plans made, but he always chooses to go home to his buddies instead of asking to spend more quality time with me at all. Keep in mind, we rarely ever hang. On average is once a week. He sees his friends 5x's a week and yet, he cancels on me for someone he sees every weekend as well. I'm just a bit frustrated.
What's Your Opinion?
Most Helpful Opinion
Well if someone puts you on the back burner then that shows ur not a priority. Is he a stoner? Stoners usually don't have much desire they just want to have fun. But it seems fishy. Well it sounds like he don't care, he only calls you when he wants sex right? I would tell him that you feel he isn't taking you seriously and if he wants to stay with you he needs to start putting you at a higher priority or invite you or something. And if he says no then you know how he really feels. He don't care that much. Well if he can't spend more time with you cut him loose and find better. . Good? Remember actions speak louder than words. Check this book out called get any one to do anything in a book store. Go to the section on how to catch a liar, there is this technique called conundrum. Use that on him and you will see if his alibis match up. Its great. Good?
What Guys Said 2
What Girls Said 2
Why can't you go when he hangs out with his buddies? If you are not apart of his life to a point where he considers you a friend enough to hang out with his friends, then I honestly can't see this relationship going too far. Has he even been decent enough to ask you whether you would like to go? Your friendship should be the foundation, the reason why your relationship exists, and you should be considered one of his best friends, if not "the best friend". If he isn't comfortable enough to hang with you around "the boys", then maybe you guys don't have enough in common to even bother. I know it sounds harsh, but I am really thinking of it more in the bigger picture scenario because I am assuming that you are taking this relationship very serious and you could end up (and have already ended up) wasting a heap of time. Even if you guys don't really like hanging around each other's friends, its only decent to ask, that way if you don't want to go it's your choice rather than him being a jerk and canceling on you. Also, if he was really taking your feelings into consideration like a "man" would, he would never continuously do something so selfish. IMHO he sounds like a boy and unless you have years of wasting time, hurt feelings, and explaining and re-explaining how to treat someone with decency and respect, you shouldn't bother yourself with waiting and helping him to grow the hell up.