Am I degrading myself?

[Anonymous]

I would want to cook and clean after my guy in a relationship. It is not like making a maid or slave out of myself but maybe I just like to take care of a guy Im with. I am a student and have a job related to programming (which means I earn for myself), however I feel good and Im drawn back home when I know I have to cook for someone. Another thing can be my submissive instincts and being from eastern culture. BUT does cooking and cleaning for a guy, make me a degraded object for him?

Yes, I am degrading myself

No, I am fine

Updates

+1 y

This is for the guys from west. If it was a guy from my country, I would be a normal female for him. But after coming to west I have become a bit skeptical.

[Esplorare]

To a certain extreme, yes this is degrading yourself.
"Submissive instincts" can e a weakness because there are plenty of predatory men or simple lazy assholes who will take advantage of your generosity and/or lure you into an emotionally abusive relationship if you are committed to acting like that. If you are determined to act that way with a guy no matter how much of an asshole he is or how much he doesn't reciprocate then you are going to get walked all over, used, and taken advantage of. Subjecting yourself to that would be degrading. Men should earn that type of treatment. Also, you don't want to act like that so early and often that you start treating him like he's your child and not your man.

[Asker]

I went through such a thing already and ended it in early phase. He told on firsthand that he would answer me only if he wishes to and would only be with me when he wishes to. I'd cook only what he wishes to. I was pretty scared at the end of day and just politely parted ways.

[xHoneyxBeex]

Not at all, that's totally fine. It's your choice, as long as a guy isn't forcing you, it isn't "degrading" at all. You want to provide for your guy in a traditional way and that's completely fine. Some people prefer traditional relationships and I don't see anything wrong with that at all.

[Asker]

Traditional is the right word. I like it traditional.

[tomboy41]

No your marriage material. Won't be lon until some guy snaps you up.

[GamerArtNerd]

I think I can answer your question with a question actually. One I asked mysef:

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1592658-question-for-girls-raised-in-east-asian-countries

[Asker]

Its in the upbringing and society a lot.

[GamerArtNerd]

It's a good thing for sure, trust me. I wish women in the west were at least a little more like you. I don't expect to get treated like a god but I definitely don't like the fact that women are so spoiled in the West.

[Asker]

To be true, I was a feminist in my country because I knew I'd be trampled upon even if I was subservient (Which was the only choice for good man). But all my feminism was drained by white men who behaved really well with me. You guys are doing a great job, believe me. Most women raised from my country will treat you men like gods if not from outside then from heart for sure.

[GamerArtNerd]

I'm not white though. I'm black haha but thanks. I guess maybe all of us Western men should go to the East and the women need to come to the West. That would fix all the world's problems haha.

[Asker]

Well even black guys do behave really well with us women. Thats wht I saw here. I remarked for the white dudes because Germans are a majority white and I live in Germany.

[GamerArtNerd]

Oh I see :)
Well good luck in your future relationship. Any guy would be lucky to have a girl like you.

[Asker]

Thank you for the compliment :)

[creepycreeper]

Stop listening to feminists it's not like any of them can get a REAL man anyway.

www.quickmeme.com/.../...052922344832941743b59.jpg

[Asker]

Im a feminist too and believe in equal rights and equal duties for both genders but do not know why such a thing as caring for the other half, be forbidden in feminism!

[creepycreeper]

Its not about equal rights but about special privileges for racist white women.

[Asker]

It is good that white men give the privilege to white women... I have seen men from my country give privilege to white women but not us (their fellow country women).

[creepycreeper]

White women constantly complain about and demonize us white men but if we are so bad why do women from all the other races want us so bad?

[Asker]

It is because we non-white women are not given the privilege and we would be more than grateful for it.
I was even shocked when I came to Germany and saw guys holding doors open for woman. A guy from my place told me open it yourself because you are not a white woman. I felt really bad at that time but Im not used to someone opening door for me and I would be more than thankful for it.

[creepycreeper]

Yeah they're spoiled.

[Pat8707]

No, feminism teaches you that you are, even if you want to, which is actually the opposite of freedom of occupation. You can be a housewife if you really want to, nobody is stopping you, and the more you cave in on what other people say you should do, the more you are really degrading yourself. Be what you want and don't listen to what others think about it.

[cjriggs]

You aren't degrading yourself. That's an excellent trait too have, but make sure that he shows you how much he appreciates it and hopefully he does the same for you.

[Asker]

I would not expect anything of cleaning or cooking from him. It would be cute if he did so and I would be grateful for it.

[iamwoot]

Avoid the super gung-ho feminism options of today's society. Feminism is awesome, but sometimes people just want to take care of each other.

[Asker]

<3 yes thats the thing.. The primal feminine nature.

[Mickdodge]

This is hilarious. 50 years ago this is what women did, and life was better in general. Now look how things are. No family, no home life, everyone is fat and lazy and dumb. I wish I was born about 50 years earlier so I didn't have to live in this hell hole we call life

[usernameisnttaken]

No, that's your thing. I think that's pretty awesome actually. As long as my as he does the dishes afterwards

[Asker]

Yes he would if I ask to :D

[usernameisnttaken]

Then I see no problem

[InconspicuousBox]

As long as he knows that doing that stuff is your choice and not your obligation, and appreciates that you do it instead of taking it for granted, you're fine.

[9mfeo]

If that's what you choose and that's what you enjoy, there's nothing wrong with that. Being FORCED to do so, on the other hand, is terribly degrading.

[blondfrog]

No cause you like to do it also I would love for you to be my wife lol.

[Asker]

I'll take it as a compliment :) Thank you.

[KAZ-2Y5]

no because he is not forcing you to do the above you are choosing it so you're good

[CottonMuffin]

What ;D?
Not at all ;) It's just fine if thats what you want to do.

[KDA20]

No you are fine - You are doing what makes you happy - You have a choice whether to do it or not.

[Anonymous]

well no... but most guys start looking at girls differently when the girl tries her best to mke him happy... soo

[AngryHorny]

It's not degrading to want to do things for a guy because you love him.

[Strider90]

No it is not degrading. Gender roles have been given by nature. Not society.

[fondue]

No. You do what you like!!!

[LightUp]

that's totally fine. nothing wrong with it...

[zombiebabe]

there's nothing wrong with it chill out!

[Anonymous]

It depends on what makes you happy.

[Asker]

What about the guy? Should I ask him if he likes it? or men in general like it?

[Pat8707]

Men like it in general, but that doesn't matter, it's whether or not YOU like it.

[Opinion Owner]

Exactly.

[Asker]

oh Im fine with it.

[bubbletrouble]

No because its what you want to do

[Bards]

Nothing wrong
Its no ones bussiness anyways

[Bards]

This has nothing to do with feminism by the way.

[9mfeo]

^^ Pretty much