My boyfriend smokes weed and I hate it. What do I do?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend of two years smokes weed and I absolutely CAN NOT STAND IT. We're both 21 and he's smoked since before we got together so I don't think asking him to stop at this point in time is reasonable. I mean, I met him and fell in love with him knowing that he was a pothead so I can't ask him to change now, can I?

I've been fighting myself lately over this because I don't know if I should continue to voice my dislike for his smoking. I've done it a couple times before and the last time I did, we got into a big fight and I felt bad afterward because I'm asking him to change something about him that I knew beforehand and, in a way, it doesn't seem to fair to me. Yet, I still hate it and I will continue to hate it regardless. So I told him that I wouldn't bring it up again unless his smoking really got in the way and began negatively affecting our relationship. Which, to this point, it hasn't.

But, I just get annoyed. He never tells me directly that he's smoking or getting high, and I've never seen him do either (he knows I hate the smell and promised he's never do it in front of me). But sometimes I call him and when he said he's with certain people, I know that's what he's doing and it p*sses me off. Also, I just can't help but think it'll do something to affect his personality or health (he said it won't though but I'm still suspicious of that; he only smokes weed, no cigarettes) or that he'll get into some sort of trouble over it. I love him to death and I just don't want anything bad to happen to him.

So, what do you think I should do? Thanks =)

[andrea45]

I’m writing this so any potheads can understand.. when my boyfriend would get high, I can immediately tell. His breath and saliva taste really different and not appealing, his car always smells and has pieces scattered so no one but me or friends can ever ride in it, it’s annoying to hide family plus it’s always a constant paranoia and hazard when driving with it, not knowing if you’ll get pulled over, it also cost money you could be saving for something more important. I see how it makes him lethargic, overly hungry and sometimes out of it to where I feel ignored and it’s hard to enjoy the time I get to have with him. He smiles mulitple times throughout the day as it’s the first thing on his mind in the morning and before bed and he has even tried throwing it all away a few times and it’s just hard because it he sees how he’s made a habit/addiction out of it. It truly affects me and disrupts our time together, I’m hoping him and I can work it out

[Anonymous]

This is something that probably won't be easy to just get off your mind.

Id recommend looking into scholarly and scientific articles on marijuana. If you decide from the facts it is harmful then you have some ground to stand on in the discussion when you (hopefully lovingly and out of concern) talk to him. If he continues to disregard your concerns/handles it poorly I'd think about finding someone who respects your concerns.

On the other hand if you look into it and decide there is nothing wrong with it, that it is harmless, and is nothing to worry about then you can put your worries and concerns at ease. Then he can be more open about it and you should be able to to be fine with it.

[shes-a-lady]

are you kidding me? :O

guys who smoke weed are freakin hot.

[Dantheman6500]

I think you already answered your own questions...

Since he was doing it before you guys met you're right, you can't ask him to change now. Especially after 2 years. As long as it isn't interfering with his social life, health, relationships, and goals in life, then there's nothing wrong with getting high every now and then. It's better than getting drunk at least..

What you two need t do is come up with a compromise. Honesty is the key. he shouldnt have to be afraid to tell you he's smoking out with his friends and at the same time he should respect your feelings and not smoke around you.

Compromise, compromise, compromise

[Asker]

Thanks, I was pretty much 80/20 on this but its just it bothers me and its hard to cope with it ... but I understand ,, thanks a lot =)

[Dantheman6500]

Is it a coincidence that the ad right next to your question is advertising a free marijuana fact book from drugfreeworld.com? ... I think not

Haha I bet its just 50 pages of the same propoganda we've been hearing since the '30s

[iformshadears]

I think you should be thankful. you already said that it hasn't effected your relationship, what is your problem? If he is doing it every day then yes its a problem, but if he just has a few now and again then its completely fine! Stop sweating, he isn't going to stop, and why should he? so.. accept that he blazes or find somebody that doesnt. Everybody has faults.

[Camilus]

What's the issue if he smokes out? Women need to stop trying to change the guys they are with, that never ends well.

[Camilus]

I haven't smoked weed in 10 years but my last girlfriend used to smoke it daily, and other than the fact that I hated having to leave the room when she smoked it didn't bother me and I never tried to make her stop doing what she liked

[Italo_DiscoFever]

Just let him be really. There's no point of trying to tell him to quit because its going to cause drama do you want that?

Good Luck.

- Harvey D