Boyfriend say's im no the kind of person he can open up to?

[Anonymous]

Hey everyone, im fairly new here and im in my first long term relationship and i fear im royally destroying it with my questions. I open up to my boyfriend about EVERYTHING, he is my boyfriend, my best friend... he is my go-to 'i have a problem or something on my mind please sit and listen'. However, when he is sad, upset, angry he won't say a peep to me ( which makes me feel like its my fault ). Last night, he kept asking how my day was over and over again. So naturally, i ask him the same. However, this time he avoids that question so i called him out gently on that.

He then said quote " feels like i want to be alone from the world, but it'd be cool to have someone to chill and talk to " ... which threw me right off my feet. [this is all over text as im out of town]

I asked him who he'd like to chill with, and im always here for him and i'd love to be that person he wants to talk to, which then i got the reply "this is why i dont open up to you :/ "

i proceeded to let him talk about another topic, but i told him because i didn't understand where that came from he needed to elaborate.

"because we're openly affectionate with each other, but we don't really understand eachother. You're not the type of person I can talk to openly" ... this honestly felt like someone stabbed me in the heart so i did get a little agressive ( kill me please ) and asked him why he was with me because anyone could show affection to him.

"because you dont have to understand someone to love them, dont look too much into what im saying. You're over sensitivity is going to drag this conversation throught he mud, which is what i mean when i say things like 'why i dont open up' "

Honestly, i was so angry at that message, i did the stupid thing of just saying 'goodnight' where he replied "okay".

To get the best of it, he went on facebook and added a few incredibly beautiful

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So i spoke with him last night, he basically say "this has nothing to do with our relationship, its kind of like... i need to speak to how a jock speaks to a jock , a person who has the same issues " -_-
then he proceeded to ask me if i talked to one of his friends ( the BI ) as she hasn't messaged him in 3 weeks, and he suspected i had something to do with it.
and THEN ( yep... ) we parked somewhere and had make-up sex... i swear he said 'you feel so good tonight (insert exgirlfriends name)'

Updates

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so i obviously was thrown off by this and went silent, he picked up on it and told me he never said any names. Im not really sure what to believe... what a mess

[Klaatu51]

"However, when he is sad, upset, angry he won't say a peep to me ( which makes me feel like its my fault ). "

^not at all... he was supposed to open-up to u since he's yer boyfriend... wot makes him feel afraid to open-up?

" feels like i want to be alone from the world, but it'd be cool to have someone to chill and talk to "

^ugh... this "it'd be cool to"... sounded like he just didn't care much about u... and he's just being wid u in order to "chill"

"You're not the type of person I can talk to openly"

^i'm afraid he doesn't trust u then.

""because you dont have to understand someone to love them, dont look too much into what im saying. You're over sensitivity is going to drag this conversation throught he mud, which is what i mean when i say things like 'why i dont open up' "

^so he was clear here... he's considerin u oversensitive... but wot makes him believe this? u don't sound oversensitive in my opinion...

"Honestly, i was so angry at that message, i did the stupid thing of just saying 'goodnight' where he replied "okay"."

^nah... u didn't act stupidly... u just ended it... and avoided any further fights.

"To get the best of it, he went on facebook and added a few incredibly beautiful"

^err... can u complete yer paragraph here plz?

[Asker]

whoops sorry, incredibly beautiful coworker.

We've gone through the trust thing over and over again but im 100%convinced he has something his wrong in the way he sees me.

I think he thinks im oversensitive when basically had a meltdown one time when he drove me to a lookout point to call me out on having a cheating personality ( my family was ripped apart by my mother who cheated on my dad, so this is the last thing i would ever EVER do to him, i would rather die then hurt him that way) . And the couple of times he told me he was talking to those 2 lady best friends about his 'issues' with me. One of them tried to get him to leave me, and obviously that upset me BIG TIME knowing who he was going to to see if im worth it...

[Klaatu51]

"whoops sorry, incredibly beautiful coworker."

^maybe an attempt to try gettin over u i believe

"I think he thinks im oversensitive when basically had a meltdown one time when he drove me to a lookout point to call me out on having a cheating personality"

^wot made him believe this then? just like without a reason? did u tell him this about yer family?

"One of them tried to get him to leave me, and obviously that upset me BIG TIME knowing who he was going to to see if im worth it..."

^i'm afraid he's talkin shit about u then... i believe it'd be better to break-up... seems like he doesn't like u as much as u do...

[Asker]

we've met each others families, im over his place every other day,
He absolutely was talking shit about me, no question about that. I'll have to wait to talk to him in person on this as im out of town until tomorrow. thank you!

[Klaatu51]

u r welcome :D

[PinkT15]

I'm sorry to hear that. That's a tough situation😕. Maybe you two don't know eachother as much as you think you do... and he sees that. Even though you've been together 6 months you seem to not be on the same page emotionally. In just 6 months no one would expect you to have everything figured out. I suggest spending one on one time (without being suffocating) to just get to know each other more... like when you first met. Good luck😜.

[HookingSwan]

I think this clearly seems like the wrong relationship for you. If he says u dont understand him, thats a major red flag. Im sorry to say it.

Besides, the saying an exs name... Ouch

[HookingSwan]

Oh and talking shit about u to other people? Even more so other girls?

Its so disrespectful to u and so wrong. He doesn't love u. And if he does he isn't loving u the right way.

I honestly believe u are not meant for each other.

Seems like a toxic relationship. Mostly on his part.

[HookingSwan]

I would dump his ass if i were u. I absolutely mean this. U dont have to take this shit.

[Ren-Riven]

You're his girlfriend and he said he can't open up to you? Something is seriously wrong

[Asker]

thank you! I keep telling him that, we've been together for 6 months.. SIX. And i do love him which makes the situation harder. When i call him out on it in person he always says "ive tried before, you dont understand"

[Ren-Riven]

I'd be shaking His head 'Then make me understand, you dweep'

This makes no sense at all! In a relationship, you should be more close than your bff's. You should be able to talk about anything. Your feelings, your problems, things that you might find embarassing. The other is there to comfort, support, advice, help, whatever!
This guy.. whyyy

[Asker]

i'm waiting till i get back to him tomorrow to have a deeper conversation with him on this because I know he'll just ignore my text. Its honestly not fair knowing he is my best friend, my boyfriend and he can't even tell me how his day is going when i tell him everything ( which im going to try to stop until he gives me answers ). This small detail is stressing me like i've never been stressed before because i know his best friends are female, his EX and a bi who likes him and i know he is opening up to them and talks about our relationship with -_-

[Ren-Riven]

If he doesn't open up.. it might be the end of the relationship... keep that in mind. You shouldn't keep those things secret

[Asker]

as much as that hurts, i agree.

[Ren-Riven]

Good luck :(

[JustinCaseUDontKnow]

You might be too shy to open up to him