I punched my girlfriend and made her cry, what can I do to overcome this problem?

Question

We have been living together because we're gonna get married next year and we got into a huge argument today because she was out with her friends and I saw a picture of her with a guy, she said it was her friend, I got angry and jealous and we got into a huge argument and I started yelling at her and I could tell she was about to cry because her voice cracked and her eyes were getting watery and we kept fussing and I lost my temper and punched her in the nose and she ran into the bedroom crying. I ran after her when I realized what I had done and her nose was bleeding and she went into me and was crying and she said she didn't want to leave me and still wanted to be with me but she wants me to go to anger management classes but I will not. I love her and she's so sweet and I hated that I did it to her and I said I was sorry and she said she forgave me and we hugged for the longest time but as we were hugging she flinched. Sometimes I want to just punched her again and slap her. I check her messages without her knowing too. I don't want her to be afraid of me or nervous around me, how can me and her both overcome this issue together?

SirenDep · Accepted Answer

You have to decide if she deserves your trust or not. If she deserves your trust, stay with her and stop getting jealous of her. If she doesn't deserve your trust, break up with her. You can break up if you're unhappy, but you know you have no right to hit her. Judging from the way you describe things, you love her but you are very afraid she 'll cheat on you and you want to control her moves and you loose your temper easily, to the point where you can't control yourself. So, if you can identify the problem, you have to do somehing about it, right? Anger management is a good idea, but there are other ways, such as reading books or searching online on how to control your anger. You have to remember to treat her with respect, because she's your beloved. Some people say that working out helps them get over their anger. When you are angry, it's better to stop talking and leave the place or the room, then talk about the subject when you are calmer.

RJGraveyTrain · Accepted Answer

GO TO ANGER MANAGEMENT.

I don't give two hunky-doory-shits if you don't want to go. You physically assaulted your fiance because you were angry over something as stupid as she took a picture with a guy friend. You admitted to wanting to hit her again, you have PROBLEMS pal. Do yourself a favor and get help to learn how to deal with these urges before you do it again and you lose her forever, be it by her leaving you or your ass getting arrested, and trust me, in a biased society, a man who hits a woman is not going to be well received by the authorities.

My dad had to go to anger management for the same problem; he'd lose it and get physical. It helped him and brought him inner peace, give yourself the opportunity to get better before you do something you can't take back.

NatashaAnnJames · Accepted Answer

If you had punched f me, you would be history. I would have left there and then and sent a friend around for my stuff.

Unless to go to these classes and get some help for the other issues and take them seriously, then in my honest personal opinion is you will do it again and again and she will become yet another domestic abuse statistic.

If you were truly remorseful you would be in those classes right now, the fact you refused, talk’s volumes about you.

I am sorry if I am sounding harsh, but I have little time for men that hit women like that.

And before all the anti feminists jump on the band wagon, I would say exactly the same if the genders were swapped, no one should hit or feel scared in a relationship.

Mesonfielde · Accepted Answer

"I got angry and jealous
and I started yelling at her
and I lost my temper and punched her in the nose"

Congratulations, you've proven that you're not mature enough for a relationship, or for any social interaction with literally any other civilized human being on the planet.

GoodGuyDave · Accepted Answer

How can we "both overcome this issue..."? First you need to realize that this isn't her problem. She didn't do anything to deserve what you did to her. Second you need to haul your ass to therapy. You should be thanking Jesus that your ass isn't in prison.

Anonymous · Answer

I understand all the hate u get in some of these comments but what u need is help not people hating, you already know you messed up badly, i understand why u don’t want to get help in anger classes I also have anger issues and I just don’t feel comfortable or I’m not really the type of person to ask in person for help over something this bad, if she trust that you won’t do it again and she’s willing to stay with you then stay and make sure you redeem yourself to her for doing that big mistake why? Because she really loves you most girls don’t give a 2nd chance to someone who hits them, if you don’t want to get help from anger classes then help yourself search online tips on how to control anger do something don’t just let it get over you, most of the times what I do when I’m feeling extremely angry towards my girlfriend I just say I gotta calm down and walk away, calm yourself down alone and when you’re calm talk about it, I noticed that you say you’re having thought about punching her again in arguments, please don’t have those kind of thoughts thinking on something too much will make you do it so when you’re angry think of something else or don’t think at all, I get angry thoughts too and i just think of things I enjoy doing it calms me down during arguments and I’m not thinking of bad stuff, but if you feel like punching her again or if u even do it again you should definitely leave for her, at that point you just cannot control yourself and she’s better off without you, do what best for her and leave if you make your mistake again. As for her if she said she was only gonna go out with girls that day and she ended up taking a pic with a guy that’s bad she should of mention the guy when she said she was hanging with girls you need to talk to her if there’s anything between them and definitely keep looking through her phone but she should also look through yours.

Minxxie · Answer

You are an absolute monster. Face that fact and get help or you will end up in jail. I am honestly so disgusted you are controlling, possessive, AND violent. You are scum and you need to go to anger management NO exceptions just fucking go and get help before you land yourself in prison or kill your fiancée!

Miss_Lola · Answer

You better go to anger management, violence isn't the answer and once one instance occurs a second is likely to happen, and a third and so on. It might not be tomorrow or next week but a lot can happen a year or so after especially if ur married. Your lucky she didn't hit back. She seems very understanding, the best apology u can give is to show an effort to change.

LightsOff · Answer

You won't overcome this. She'll never fully trust you again. That lingering fear that you'll do it again will stay in her head forever.

Go to the damn anger management classes, it's the least you could do.

Anonymous · Answer

You need to stop punching your girlfriend and get away from her, for her sake. You need to seek professional help with dealing with anger management issues. This is the third time I've seen this type of question from you. Either you are trolling or you keep hitting/punching/shoving her.

I have the screen shots of your other questions, so I know you wrote the other ones as well.

MadameJulietta · Answer

You can't punch a girl and try to fix it later and forget it never happened.  You pretty much ruined your future with her.

R3d_Anonymous · Answer

Go to anger management classes as she is recommending. She's being very generous. Unfortunately, many women these days will break up with you over the most trivial reason imaginable. And this girl is still giving you a break. Be thankful for that and oblige her.

Also, dude, just stop... there's nothing wrong with having friends of the opposite sex when in a relationship.

I don't know man. I am usually againdt breaking up so easily, but this is just... you're being pretty unreasonable.

Yasmine_yasmine · Answer

Hmm.. Ask my boyfriend how we both got over the issue of him bruising both my arms.  Oh wait, he's my ex now and has been since the second he put his hands on me in a malicious way. Good luck.

Likes2drive · Answer

You really need to control your jealousy issues with her and going to some kind of therapy for your anger because it only gets worse once you have unleashed the beast and see that she still stays with you subconsciously you know she won't leave you if you do that again , this is how physically abusive relationships start out and continue , the fact the you know it was bad you have a chance at catching it early

NatashaJ · Answer

why are you refusing to go to anger management classes?

JuicyBrain · Answer

People, don't fall for it, this guy post similar things almost everyday ! He just likes the reactions

ImmaMantherlol · Answer

Not a good basis for a relationship. The fact that you have feelings of hurting your partner because of anger should tell you something. You need to get a hold of your anger issues before anything.

Anonymous · Answer

Get some therapy, dude. If you respected her at all, you wouldn't punch her.

ShaunaM95 · Answer

Leave her alone and move to another planet. Or put yourself in jail.

kingme · Answer

You're violent, pervasive, controlling and generally abusive. If you love this girl you'll set her free at least until you sort out your own issues. If you don't you're scum.

BertMacklinFBI · Answer

I was going to type something constructive but its easier to just tell you to gtfo hahaa.

DontDropIt · Answer

"she went into me and was crying and she said she didn't want to leave me and still wanted to be with me." wtf lol you must've punched the sense outta her.

Sara413 · Answer

You need to go to anger management, like she requested. And if that doesn't work, break up because she doesn't deserve that shit.

RexCatholicissimus · Answer

If it makes you feel any better, you've probably secretly turned her on, as well. If you can make this work somehow, she may never leave you.

Anonymous · Answer

You need therapy. If you don't get help, you will keep abusing her, don't ruin her life. if your not willing to get help then let her go.

I punched my girlfriend and made her cry, what can I do to overcome this problem?

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