I caught my boyfriend on a dating app, what does this mean?

[Anonymous]

Today i caught my boyfriend on a dating app on his phone. I asked him what is that because I saw some girls on it and knew it was a dating app. He just looked at me like a deer looking at headlights. My boyfriend didn't say anything to me what it was and exit it out as soon as I asked him. I was extremely upset and still am. I thought I could trust him and I caught him on a dating app. What should I do about this? I am really hurt that he would be on a dating app while dating me.

[Anonymous]

Ok I know everyone will possibly jump on the dump him wagon but hear me out. I was dating a guy for 3 months and we met on a dating site. We were serious and exclusive etc so when one night out I saw he still had the app I lost my mind. I made him feel my anger and hurt. I want to say without being cocky that I am quite attractive and well proportioned physically with a really good personality. He is quite the opposite to me short scrawny not very attractive so I really felt betrayed. He explained to me that he was so sure I would leave him soon he never bothered to delete it. We were out one night and 7 guys approached me trying to chat me up buy me a drink etc. so he knows I'm with him cos I choose to be, because I see a different person in him and he treats me very well. So we talked about issues he was having and he told me about exs using him for his money and cheating on him etc. I told him that's life suck it up or fuck off cos I am nothing like those people. To be fair I did have an idea how bad he has had it before because on one date we went to the cinema and I offered to buy the food and he said no so I said il get the pizza then and it was the first time a girl bought him anything on a date. Anyway just ask yourself these questions do you love him? How long are you together, for me we were only a few months and I still had the profile but on private I wasn't using it. Are his actions those of a guy who is in love does he treat you well? Give you his time? I would look to see the messages on the app. Whatever you choose stick with it because you can't bring it up every argument either

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry that this is happening to you! A very similar thing is happening with my boyfriend (is there something in the water!!!). I've seen so many posts about this recently it breaks my heart!

I will say that this doesn't look good. He seemed pretty shocked when he saw that you saw he had the app and didn't answer when you asked him about it.

I think you need to talk to him about this. Ask him to be truthful. Try not to be angry and yell at him, but be firm.

You have to decide whether it's worth it to stay and try to make things work and if you can even trust him anymore. I'm struggling with that right now.

A friend of mine even made a fake account and spoke to him and sent me screen shots. I was gutted. He even wanted to meet up with her, so I ended up meeting up with him instead. I don't like doing stuff like that but I had to be sure. He showed up and denied the whole thing, saying he was hacked and some guy made a fake profile of him (he said it's happened before) but never apologized.

I'm absolutely heartbroken over it and haven't really talked to him since. I don't know what I'm going to do just yet so I'm just taking some time for myself.

I think you need to do what you feel is best. People are saying dump him, and yes it doesn't look good but you do have other options too.

However, I say from this point now you have to at least be very cautious. If you are sleeping with him, make sure it's protected. Even get tested just in case.

I'm really sorry this is happening to you. I'm hoping the best for your situation!

[Honestgirl23]

Lol i caught my boyfriend with a dating app XD take his phone and go on his dating app and ruin it for the rest of the girls

jkjkjk well that really depends how angry u are i was not angry at my boyfriend he told me he was just bored and wanted to talk and i went on the app (i checked the messages can not be deleted on this dating app) and he was just doing harmless conversation with everyone and when a girl would get sexual or try to hit on him he stoped replying to them
call me crazy or maybe just dangerously trust him to much to where its dangerous but i still trust him
so u should read the messages if they r still there and go based on that if he's flirting or trying to meet up with girls obviously u should leave
i know its a dating app and all but to be honest someitmes i use to just go on it just to talk as well cuz i was bored XD
but when in doubt

throw his phone in a lake

[kaylaS91]

Ask him why he has it. Don't jump to conclusions.

I have Tinder for a week or so, even though I'm not single. I told my boyfriend almost right away, didn't hide it from him. I got it just to see what all the hype was about, and deleted it pretty quickly.
Maybe the same is true with your boyfriend?

[Asker]

that's what one of my friends told me. he would tell me when I asked him which he didn't tell me when I asked him.

[kaylaS91]

What was the reason he told you as to why he had the app?

[Asker]

he never said a word when I caught him and ask him

[kaylaS91]

ooh ok yeah.. I guess that sort of reaction doesn't really look good as to why he may have been using it. Tell him you want to talk, ask him that question again point blank and don't let him leave till he gives you a honest response.

[Asker]

I talked to him about it the other day. he told me he accidently got on to it and was trying to get on something else on his phone. he told me he deleted and apologized.

[Curmudgeon]

OK, I will make some point at telling you to not give up on him *just yet*

1. He may have joined this app before he met you. Or do you know the date?

2. Have you had the formal "big exclusivity" conversation yet? If you have not, then you shouldn't have expectations here--yet. Don't just assume that said exclusivity is assumed. It must be spelled out. Men DO NOT have ESP, and can be incredibly clueless in areas where you take your womanly intuition for granted.

3. A guy having "buyers remorse" after settling in is not uncommon. Let me use an analogy of home buying. After I put my big down payment, I did scan the real estate ads for a short time--and even went to a few open house showings--just because I was afraid I was missing out on "a better deal". But: once it becomes clear there is no such better deal, the feeling passes quickly.

So, I guess what I am saying is--don't rule him out *just yet*, if has otherwise treated you incredibly well. Of course, if he has not, well, you know what to do.

And in fairness, if *he* has temporary buyer's remorse, you are excused for having same.

But if it passes for both of you, then be content with your now more solidified relationship.

[Tanuron]

Busted it seems by the sound of it. Only dating thingy I ever been a part of wasent even my choice. I had a profile on this social media thingy cause some people I know kept bugging me about getting one, so fine. But down the road 3-4years the site decided to merge with a dating side and then become only a dating site. Sketchy ass site too, tried to delete my account but dosent even work. I always pondered somewhat it would be kinda funny or not so funny if a girlfriend found that one, but I could regardless prove my case cause is records of this merging online. But yeah like with your guy if he can't even come up with a single reason or say anything. It sadly says too much.

[OlderAndWiser]

Have you previously had any discussion about your relationship being exclusive or monogamous?

[HannaMyers1]

I'm sorry that happened and you have every right to be upset about it. I would definitely talk to him about what is going on as soon as you can. This is very important and I'm sure you wanna know why he's on this dating app. Can I ask how long have you two been together?

[Asker]

3 months

[HannaMyers1]

Okay u gotta talk to him because that's horrible and if he doesn't have an explanation I suggest u threaten to search for someone better

[Asker]

he threaten me before about him seeing someone else that hurt me too. he also tells me I should found someone else when we were messing around. I was kinda offended by it too since he said it to me before. he hasn't talked to me since yesterday afternoon

[HannaMyers1]

He's an asshole and I think you should break up with him but I don't know the whole situation so I can't say what to do but for my advice I would have a serious talk with him if u want the relationship to work out

[Asker]

he finally text me today just said hey and i miss u thats all

[HannaMyers1]

You need to talk to him as soon as possible face to face

[Esplorare]

This means that your boyfriend is shady as fuq. The deer in headlights look only confirms it. He clearly knew he was caught doing something wrong. Tell him "Suck a nikka dick!" Then leave him. Dump him. Break up with him and never look back. You'll never be able to trust him again and it will dilute the sweet simplicity, comfort, and effortless trust that a healthy relationship is supposed to have.

[Aleaj101]

Girl, if he treats you like that and can't be honest with you drop him. you don't deserve that. if he isn't happy ask him, because that's messed up i would be mad if i had found that on my guys phone. just let him go if he has too sneak around yout back and if he can't tell you exactly how he feels.

[Asker]

I was too upset. I was quite around him and wanted to cry. he didn't asked me whats wrong or nothing! im really hurt :(

[Aleaj101]

YOu are a beautiful girl! you deserve so much better then that!

[Asker]

Thank you! :)

[NotMyUsername15]

... he's looking for a new girlfriend, I suggest you do the same and look for a new boyfriend.

[madhatters4]

it means he's looking elsewhere or cheating

sorry this happened. I personally would give him a chance to explain himself but would probably just break up with the guy. essentially saying "hope you find someone on that app cause you are now officially SINGLE... Peace out"

[Theshaft169]

He's looking for girls to have sex with. He will keep you as his steady girlfriend. Just turn a blind eye and let him screw other girls.
What do u think? Dump his ass !! Don't listen to excuses. There are no excuses for cheating. Or trying. I bet he hasn't even found a girl but ,,,, he's trying hard isn't he

[luvstoned4him]

Ok, you asked him about it and he just exited? He sounds like he is hiding something. I know we woman have our intuition and all that but dont just jump to conclusions just yet. Try to seee if you can get him to admit to it but the fact that he won't even say a thing when you put the question to it, isn't a good sign...

[Anonymous]

Was it an iPhone or android? #kiddingofcourse

Well, how do you want to proceed? Do you still want to be in a relationship with him? Were you two in a relationship or you were 'just dating' (someone told me it was different)?

My suggestion is: take a break. Spend time away from each other and simmer down.

[Asker]

of course I want to be with him and we are in a relationship. someone told you different? who are you?

[Opinion Owner]

No, i mean someone told me that 'just dating' and 'in a relationship' is different. I don't know you or your guy.

So you still want to be in a relationship with him? Just a heads up: we can't change people. If he's a cheater you're gonna have to get use to him cheating on you.

I'd still suggest taking a break. You'd feel better after knowing you can live without anyone and if he still cares for you, he'd apologize. If he doesn't, you'll probably have to think of a new arrangement like 'open relationship' (ew!).

[Asker]

im not going to talk to him til he figures out what's wrong with me and im going to tell him off. when I caught him, I couldn't talk I was really upset and didn't talk to him the rest of the day.

[steveisbored]

Yeah he's either using it to find girls to cheat, using it to see if he finds someone better, or just looking at tons of pics of nearby girls. Either way it's bad and you need to confront him. I'm sorry he's an ass :(

[Accipiter]

Sometimes I forget how many apps I have on my phone and neglect to delete the apps I'm not using. Perhaps there's a chance he had this app on the phone before you became his girlfriend, and forgot to delete it. If tha's not the case then it's time to consider a new boyfriend.

[AndLikeThatHesGone]

It means he's either cheating on you, or thinking about cheating on you.

He might just be using the dating app to flirt, or maybe he's hoping to hook up with some of those girls as well.

You might want to consider ending the relationship, sorry.

[sexybooty01]

Tbh if I were in your position I would be flipping shit. I understand that you are upset but soon you gon be mad! I wpuls cuss him out and tell him how you feel! That is pathetic shit righy there!

[Mesonfielde]

Well he either just likes the way you can find attractive ladies on Tinder to pass the time, or he is not as interested in dating you long-term as you think.

[DodgersGM]

You dump him, unfortunately. But that's the bed he's made, so it's time for him to lay in it.

[wingattebaby16]

... sounds like he is checking other options... i would confront him and he he won't fess up, you be the one to DUMP HIM FIRST!

[marylittleton]

That he's an asshole. That's what it means. Ditch this loser! I've been there and it's just going to happen again. Show yourself some respect and be with someone who only wants you.

[xxNDMxx]

He's such a dickhead, what kind of guy does that? If I were you, I would break up with him in the most humiliating way possible before he even gets a chance to blink.

[slywinkle]

It means you need a new boyfriend

[Hannah591]

The way he acted tells me he's up to no good and is likely cheating or has the intention of cheating on you.