My boyfriend just broke up with me out of nowhere!

We were together for over 6 months. (we are both 22, btw). We met in Berlin, where I am from, and he is from New York. We only spent 29 hours together and knew we were meant to be. After 54 days I flew to New York. He immediately asked me to be his girlfriend. I was there for 3 weeks. We had a... Show More

sorry my s key is broken and copy and paste it all the time, so sometimes instead of a 's' its a 'v', I hope you still understand my post. btw he was never cold or anything, just always professional when I call him at work, not too sweet like at home.
he texted me tonight. another step that is...
we got back together today.yay.

Most Helpful Guy

  • *Puts on superman cape* Remember, I'm not trying to be rude, I'm trying to get straight to the point of what the dilemas are.

    [ Reality check ]

    Problem 1) "He could not afford to fly me out again and I got really anxious about when we would see each other again. I think I pressured him a little too much. Then 3 days ago I booked a ticket for the 26th. I told him and he seemed not excited, but he also was at work when I called, so he was holding back as usual at work."

    - Did you pay for the ticket, or did you book it against what he was saying about not having the finances available- then asking him to pay for it?

    Problem 2) " He wrote me the same day (before I told him about the flight) how much he loved me and that I should be positive "

    - Why was he reminding you to be positive? Did you express any feelings to him during that call after scheduling the ticket that made you seem doubtful or upset / etc?

    Problem 3) "...because we are meant to be together."

    - That statement is bullsh*t, I don't care what anyone says- no one will be "meant" for each other in slightly over 54 days. It takes time to grow together and understand each other's flaws, then more time to learn to appreciate those flaws.

    Problem 4) (After you got the breakup email) "I called him afterwards and confronted him "

    - Never call out your spouse on something. It's different if the situation demands that you do so (You notice that your spouse was cheating / etc... But in this situation, do not). Confronting someone or trying to "push" the issue and get what you want- is a subject to tread lightly on. I'll cover this more later

    Problem 5) "I told him we need to talk about this and if I can call again. He said I should call in his lunch break. I didn't call"

    - Just like you expect from the guy, you should call when you say your going to call ;D It's just curteousy

    [ GOOD NEWS! ]

    - There was nothing that I noticed which was "hostile" per se'. It seems like you are overbearing him with affection during a time that is completely filled. This in turn, makes him feel like you require more "maintenance" (aka affection) than he can hand out at this point in time. This is good news because the situation isn't hostile- it's indifferent. Meaning that there are still open doors for you to try a round two

    [ My advice ]

    - Work on expressing your feelings through ACTIONS and not words. You don't need to travel across the world to see him, but it's sweet that your doing so. Instead of showing up to kiss and play "love-doves" you want to show up and show that you appreciate his efforts and hard work, if you do that- he will shower you with affection.

    (Example: Study with him and if he becomes stressed out, bring him some coffee and kiss him on the cheek while his nose is in a book)- bet'cha 10 bucks that he turns around to kiss you on the lips!

    Call him in a weeks time and say "How have you been" and act like everything is normal.

    O_O Holy sh*t I've ran out of room.

    • Needless to say - wait 1-2 weeks and then call him and say "I've tried to be respectful, but I'm burning up inside. I can wait forever, but I need to know if you want this to work too?

      ^_^ Good luck sweetheart and I'm sorry that I rambled so much- but I was trying to identify all the issues to work on improving ^_^

      P.s. this is the first answer I couldn't finish with the space that was given. Feel excited ;-P

      Best regards,


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    • Then explain why you said she moved in?

      Reality check- something is happening between them. You don't just move another female in when there are problems between you and your relationship. It would only cause more problems.

    • He already paid double rent for a month, he desperately needed one, luckily he found someone who he gets along with and not just a stranger, I am sure that is a plus point. I don't think he would do anything with her, its 1. not his style and 2. he loves me :P