I've been with my girlfriend for 3 years - she's Russian and we live together in St. Petersburg. We don't have a sexual relationship (maybe once every three months or so) but for our 3 years we've been perfectly happy. We cuddle lots, do normal relationship stuff (besides sex) and in practical matters we compliment each other very well (I earn money so she can finish her Master's, she owns the apartment in which we live and keeps the place in order). We have lots of future ambitions and plans which we are excited about realising.
Now, the problem. As part of an initiation into my new English teaching job, I had to take part in a 3 week camp for teenagers with no breaks, long days, and stressful work. There were some other Brits and American teachers there, but mostly Russian girls my age, and we all got to know each other much better than we'd have liked, I think. I didn't cheat then, nor have I ever, but this camp was the first time I really considered it and had to battle it - I put it down to the pressure I was under.
Unfortunately, since that camp, I've been faced with several other temptations now, one of which almost ended my 3 year relationship (mostly unbeknownst to my girlfriend). I still haven't actually cheated, but I can feel how reluctant I am to talk about my girlfriend with other girls, and at times when there's one girl stuck in my mind, I end up resenting my girlfriend and feeling like she's suffocating me. We talk about getting married next year, but while I'm attracted to these other girls I just hate thinking about it. But then, once I push through for a few weeks, I move on and my feelings towards my girlfriend normalise and I'm passionate about her again, and we talk happily about marriage and whatnot (until the next girl comes along).
The temptations I can deal with - I've managed so far okay - it's the feeling of resentment towards the most important and special person in my life that makes me sad. We've endured so much together.
Now, the problem. As part of an initiation into my new English teaching job, I had to take part in a 3 week camp for teenagers with no breaks, long days, and stressful work. There were some other Brits and American teachers there, but mostly Russian girls my age, and we all got to know each other much better than we'd have liked, I think. I didn't cheat then, nor have I ever, but this camp was the first time I really considered it and had to battle it - I put it down to the pressure I was under.
Unfortunately, since that camp, I've been faced with several other temptations now, one of which almost ended my 3 year relationship (mostly unbeknownst to my girlfriend). I still haven't actually cheated, but I can feel how reluctant I am to talk about my girlfriend with other girls, and at times when there's one girl stuck in my mind, I end up resenting my girlfriend and feeling like she's suffocating me. We talk about getting married next year, but while I'm attracted to these other girls I just hate thinking about it. But then, once I push through for a few weeks, I move on and my feelings towards my girlfriend normalise and I'm passionate about her again, and we talk happily about marriage and whatnot (until the next girl comes along).
The temptations I can deal with - I've managed so far okay - it's the feeling of resentment towards the most important and special person in my life that makes me sad. We've endured so much together.
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