Apparently I'm boring and not fun?

[Anonymous]

The thing is... I AM super fun to be around and when we go out I'm usually the life of the party. I like laughing and smiling. And I tend to talk about random things (if I'm in a good mood ;p). People describe me as bubble and 'cutesy.'

BUT my boyfriend told me I'm really boring to be around and not all that interesting to talk to. This kinda hurt my feelings.

We've been together for three years and we have lots of things in common. Here are 2 ex.

I like video games. He likes video games. but he considers playing them with me boring.

i like cooking new things. he likes cooking new things. but whenever we cook together he gets bored.

iunno I'm always really playful around him because that's my personallity but he always makes it painfully obvious that he's annoyed when I'm playful or excited about something. so then when I try to NOT be playful around him and he tells me I'm boring.

whenever we talk I always bring something up and ill get a one work response. usually "cool" or "ok." he never adds anything. but then when he talks I always just ask him more. and we have a conversation - as long as its about what HE wants to talk about. I'm not always interesting in what he brings up, but I still like talking to him about it.

things were fine untill 3 ish months ago. but I can't think of anything that would've caused this. I'm like 99% sure he's not cheating. we still have awsome sex.

whats going on! anyone else been in this situation?

what can I do?

[centrestriker]

lol well playing video game with girls can be slightly boring, I mean we spend probably twice the time you do playing them, so chances are were are better at them (this isn't always true) but honestly playing competive games that we are almost guaranteed to win is sort of boring. I mean its the same thing as playing soccer with girls, its sort of fun (its REALLY fun playing with girls who are excellent at the sport) but on average I m not going nearly as hard as I would be going with my friends.

The cooking thing I don't understand.

Moving on, if conversation and behaviour aren't compatable than yeah you probably do bored/ slash annoy him. If a girl can't carry an interesting conversation with me she will not make it past the first date. I am interested in sports, action sports, world affairs, technology and arts. however if all you can talk about is in the new purse line some company came out with or math problem you were trying to sovle in calc, or gossip that happening with your friends, I will listen for a while, but eventually I will get bored.

and yeah if my girlfriend is being annoying with me I will probably be slightly irrate. One of my ex-girlfriends liked to try and make out with me while around other people. I HATED it. I wasn't so much me, it was the awkwardness it caused my friends. I didn't like it and it annoyed me. and would generally be short with her if it happened to much.

Honestly I think he is realizing your lack of compatibilty, there is nothing you can, you guys might just not be meant for each other... or I could be totally wrong

[Asker]

He's a chef. haha. yeah I have my own ps3. he's better at Cod type games. I like street figter, etc. we're both relatively same skill level.

Oh. lol you make me sound like bimbo. I don't talk about shoes/purses/gossip lol. just random new things. new tech. this happening around the world. travelng.

[centrestriker]

Lol sorry that wasn't my intent... but I have met ALOT of girls who don't seem to know what's happening outside the mall

[Asker]

Oh I guess that sucks for you :\ lol most girls I know aren't mindless and dazed.

[Anonymous]

you didn't suddenly become annoying and boring...like you said something changed in the last few months and it's made your boyfriend seem to become more irritable..maybe he's falling out of love like 2Hype said or maybe school/work has taken a toll on him recently? I think you should address this with him now so you can hopefully figure out what caused it and change things or if things are really going sour..you can get out of the relationship without wasting anymore time

[Asker]

Work/school/family/friends/lifestyle is all pretty much the same, so then he dosn't love me anymore? I still love him tough :\ how should I talk to him about this?: s

[Opinion Owner]

Carmondy makes a good point in that he may just be flat out bored. I think that her suggestion to take a few days or a week or something where you guys just give each other your space has the potential to help him see how much he actually enjoys you being around

[Asker]

Yeah. thanks. I guess taking a break would be best.

[MelodicMuse_]

Sounds like you should be single and move on. Personally I wouldn't want to be with someone that dosen't want to be with me. No matter the length of years I've been with that person, he's shows me he dosen't want to be with me, I'm not staying, I'm leaving. Space is one thing but if he's treating you like that why stay? He isn't the only guy living on this planet. Leave him for good, give time for yourself. Your situation sounds like it's giving you a headache and too much heartache. You deserve to be a happy woman not a miserable one. Don't allow anyone to step all over you like that either. I've walked away from relationships that hurt me like that and yeah it hurt in the beginning but a little later it got me stronger when I left them. I realized after leavening them for good that I know I'm worth being with, I'm not boring and they were just life lessons for the next one who won't be like the past mistakes I've been with. I believe there will be a man out there just for me who will love me for me that will "never" get bored of me. I'm waiting, I'm single and I have no problem with that. Taking time for yourself isn't such a bad thing. It just helps yourself to get to know yourself better and get you stronger.

[Anonymous]

You love him but it seems like he doesn't love you?

Oh trust me I have been here before with my first love it sucked and hurt like hell.

It seems like he doesn't want to be in a relationship anymore but doesn't know how to tell you, but just talk to him and ask him why he has changed or why he thinks you are boring or why he is getting annoyed with you that's the only way. I talked it out with my guy and after about a month our relationship ended but we to this day are still good friends. This may not be that case for you; as in you relationship may not end if you get to source of the problem before it escalates, but you need to act fast.

If he doesn't want to talk about it or refuses to admit what is wrong then that's when you know its the end of the relationship and at that point you have every right to go out and find someone who loves you for you and won't change when things get rough, or maybe you two are around each other too much maybe you both need some single time, a break perhaps to think things through, let him realize what he is missing he might come back a new man.

Have hope and be optimistic please.

I wish you luck.

[Asker]

Hey thanks! ur answer lightened my mood. plus some good insight.

[Opinion Owner]

You are very welcome :)

[alang]

He is a boy and ain't ready. if sex is all yall have then you have nothing

[Carmondy]

He is probably getting restless being in a relationship. Maybe try giving him some space. When my friend and her boyfriend had this problem, they made a pact to not talk for 1 week and see how the other felt afterward. It may not be that you're boring, but that he is just plain bored.

[Asker]

Oh ok. we used to see each other often but the past year maybe once a week. so 4 times a month. so space as in taking a break? maybe for a month?

[Carmondy]

If you beleive that after a month things could be okay again, then yes. You just need to have faith in your relationship. But if you guys are only seeing each other 4 times a month, then that's a problem in itself. Especially if you do pretty much the same general activities each time.

[Anonymous]

Hey girl, I’m going through a similar situation right now. What ended up happening?

[dan_i_am]

To be candid, it sound like HE is the boring one!