New Boyfriend Is Unreliable?
My new boyfriend has this habit to say I'll call you in a minute or ten and he doesn't. I already told him that I LIKE when he calls me.
So why does he do it? We are way grown ups. What should I think or do?
What's Your Opinion?
Most Helpful Opinion
Majority of guys are rather forgetful when it comes to calling when they said they would. I guess it's just in their nature. Of course, there a lot of guys who are punctual and call when they say they would too. There could be few reasons:
1) He gets really busy with work, school, family, friends, etc. and calling you slips out of his mind.
2) He just isn't too much of a phone guy. I know lots of guys don't really talk on the phone. He could be one of them. If he's really affectionate in person, I wouldn't worry about it.
3) He doesn't feel like bothering you. If that's the case, he should know better since you told him that you like it when he calls.
Just try to casually talk to him when the mood is good and let him know how him not calling you makes you feel. If he cares, he will do something about it.
What Guys Said 1
Hmmm. First, I'd like to start by asking, "Is he unreliable in other things, too? Or is he just unreliable in this specific instance?"
Next, what you should do about it? Well, you've told him how you feel about him calling you, have you told him how you feel when he DOESN'T call you? I would start with that. If he continues being unreliable, here are some steps that I would take:
1. Confront him with the problem:
- Use "I" messages ("%Name%, I have a problem.")
- Use a non-threating tone and attitude.
2. Explain the problem
- Explain the facts.
("When you say that you'll call me, you don't always follow through. I look forward to these
calls and when I don't get them, I feel %hurt, disappointed, frustrated%.")
3. Explain the consequences of this:
- "If you continue to do this, will it make our relationship better or worse?"
- "Do you want our relationship better or worse?"
90% of the time, the other person is going to respond with... obviously, "Better." I highly suggest this form of communication because it's completely non-biased if it's used correctly and the other person doesn't feel attacked by the problem.